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Oprah's (fictitious) Interview With Jangbi

Forum Index > BW General
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Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
September 11 2011 03:56 GMT
#1
Okay there will be spoilers, naturally enough. Also I justified putting this in BW General because, more than anything else, it's a recap of Jangbi's OSL run + some hype. If I dun goofed, whoops, close it and I'll remake in blogs. =)

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
[image loading]


Oprah: Today I’m sitting down with OSL finalist Heo Yeong Moo, more commonly known to us as Jangbi! We’re going to be talking all about his run through the tournament and his thoughts on his final match with Fantasy.

Hundreds of women hiss in the crowd at the mention of Fantasy.

Oprah: Though I’m sure everyone knows who you are, for your unbelievably cute looks if nothing else, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself.

Still smirking from the compliment, Jangbi sits up on his chair.

Jangbi: I’m from Korea, the good Korea, and I play Starcraft professionally for Samsung Khan. I’ve never managed to win a major title but I have several silvers, including two losses in the finals to Bisu.

Contrary to their reactions to Fantasy, all the women swoon at Bisu’s name alone

Jangbi: The other finals loss was to a dirty cheater called Luxury. Supposedly his only cheating was match fixing but I swear he date-rape drugged me on the day of the finals. Anyway I also hold the all-time peak ELO for PvT and have the third highest ELO peak for Protoss of all time. I’m perhaps best known for my panty-wetting storms, specifically the ones against Nada on Othello.

Oprah: We actually have a clip of that right NOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!

The crowd screams with excitement.



Jangbi blushes slightly as the audience yells in tandem with the crowd on the video.

Oprah: Amazing. Simply amazing! How about a big round of applause for those incredible psi storms!

An eruption of claps ensues.

Oprah: Don’t worry everyone, we anticipated what would happen after showing that video so people will be coming around with fresh underwear. Anyways, lets talk about your run in this OSL. To get into the round of 16, you had to fight through a group with S2, Shuttle, and Shine that you ended going 2-0 in.

More clapping

Oprah: What do you think about those players?

Jangbi: My first opponent was S2. He has a pretty good record in ZvP through extensive use of Hydra busts but other than that, he’s one of the worst players out there. Next I played Shuttle who has really good PvP. I wasn’t too scared though because I was just coming off a win over Horang2 who is the greatest player in the universe, myself notwithstanding. Lastly there was Shine, who I never actually had to play. Playing Shine is all mental. As long as you know he’s awful, you can win. But if you forget he’s awful, he’ll get ya.

The audience laughs, now dry once again.

Oprah: VeeEeEry interesting!!!! Now, your round of 16 group gave you a lot more difficulties and your run almost ended right there and then. Tell us about that.

Jangbi. So I lost my first two games to Calm and Killer but I was able to win against Baby, since punching babies is actually a little hobby of mine. Killer came out of the group 3-0 but there was a tiebreak to see who would come out second between Baby, Calm, and myself. My baby punching prowess again proved to be too powerful and I was also able to take out Calm in the rematch. This allowed me to advance to the quarter-finals, where I would be facing none other than FlaSh.

Oprah and everyone in the audience recoils in fear, simply from the mention of the Ultimate Weapon.

Oprah: Don’t worry everyone, Security has been advised not to let Flash in, we have nothing to fear. Anyway, that was a really close call. Good thing you managed to make it through!!!!!!!

CLAPPING and CHEERING!

Oprah: So now you’re going up against the scariest player in the world, who was just coming off of carrying his team to the Proleague gold. There he resoundingly crushed fellow PvT expert BeSt twice. Were you at all afraid?

Jangbi: Oh of course! Wrist injuries or not, there’s a reason the research that went into building Him had to classified and pulled out of M.I.T. But I also thought I could do it.

Oprah: For some totally retarded reason, you had to play the first game of the best of three on one day but games 2 and 3 on a different day. How do you feel about this?

Jangbi: I mean, its, like, totally bull shit. All it does is give the player who loses the first game time to hate themselves and choke puppies in anger.

Oprah: Unfortunately, it was you who ended up losing the first game. What did you do after that?

Jangbi: The puppy thing. Don’t worry, they werent that cute.

Oprah: Oh. Okay... Moving on, what was going through your head on the day of games 2 and 3?

Jangbi: I set out to storm Flash all to hell. I realized that He has a fear of anything related to electricity because of his Nate MSL fiasco so I figured storm would mess with his circuitry.

Oprah: Brilliant! Handsome AND intelligent, eh ladies?!!!!

Yelling and hollering fills the air. The words “I want you!” are screamed from at least 6 distinct locations in the crowd. Jangbi smirks shyly once again.

Oprah: And it worked out for you! You managed to take the series 2-1 and move on to the semis to face Soo! What do you think of him as a player?

Jangbi: Total baddie.

Oprah: What? I find he’s kinda pretty good!

Jangbi: Did you see the results?

Oprah: Yes, I know, but the games themse--

Jangbi: Nope. Bad. Me gosu him chobo etc etc.

Oprah: Okay, lets get to the important bit now. You’re facing Fantasy in the finals. You’re a PvT specialist and he’s a TvP specialist, how do you see this series going?

Jangbi: I think I’ll win. I beat Flash to get here, he beat Hyuk. More like Fyuk amirite?!

The crowd applauds, but only because the sign told them to.

Oprah: But he beat Hydra when you beat Soo. And he’s also 5-3 against you in head-to-head! What do you think about that?

Jangbi: Meh, none of those games were even this year and I’ve won the most recent one. I’ll be bringing the head to head up to 6-5 in my favour!

Roaring applause, the audience clearly has faith in him.

Oprah: Bold statement! Thanks so much for taking time off from practice to come talk to us today!!!!!!!!

Jangbi: No problem! It was my pleasure.

Oprah: Coming up after the break, I talk to Chuck Norris about how he convinced the internet that he’s not seventy-f**king-one years old!!!

The crowd claps and it fades into commercial.
Xpace
Profile Joined March 2011
United States2209 Posts
September 11 2011 03:58 GMT
#2
Wait, why Oprah? :\
Gofarman
Profile Joined June 2010
Canada645 Posts
September 11 2011 04:01 GMT
#3
lol, funny read.

And yeah... why Oprah?
@nonytv nony.tv/tipjar One of his Chill-dren
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
September 11 2011 04:02 GMT
#4
Hokay it was almost Larry King but I just ended up going with Oprah instead. There's no real reason outside of "why not?".
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
September 11 2011 04:04 GMT
#5
I can sense that we'll have Larry King or an O'Brien interview of Fantasy within the day.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
meegrean
Profile Joined May 2008
Thailand7699 Posts
September 11 2011 04:04 GMT
#6
Quite entertaining
Brood War loyalist
RezChi
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada2368 Posts
September 11 2011 04:20 GMT
#7
JangBi for the win.
Kaal
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Djibouti2514 Posts
September 11 2011 04:22 GMT
#8
What the fuck.

I came to this show and she didn't give away anything?

Ripoff.
ShadeR
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia7535 Posts
September 11 2011 04:22 GMT
#9
Hahaha funny stuff. Good work.
ligas
Profile Joined May 2011
81 Posts
September 11 2011 04:23 GMT
#10
fyuk

wouldve laughed at that in the past but considering his epic bad luck (tk up the ass) and not seeing him in proleague no more and likely ever... just feels cruel.
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
September 11 2011 04:24 GMT
#11
On September 11 2011 13:22 Kaal wrote:
What the fuck.

I came to this show and she didn't give away anything?

Ripoff.

Fml I had thought of that before I started writing but I forgot. TT

Anyways, you got panties so thats nice I suppose. Though I guess it was her fault you needed them in the first place so meh.
ligas
Profile Joined May 2011
81 Posts
September 11 2011 04:30 GMT
#12
wouldve been nice if there was an opraheseque intro:

"we have a very special guest today let me introduce huhneuniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim"
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
September 11 2011 04:33 GMT
#13
On September 11 2011 13:30 ligas wrote:
wouldve been nice if there was an opraheseque intro:

"we have a very special guest today let me introduce huhneuniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim"

Admittedly I'm not super familiar with the show. I know she gets excited about things (thus the overabundance of exclamation points) but I couldnt tell you how she introduces things.

Thanks though! :D
PUPATREE
Profile Joined August 2009
340 Posts
September 11 2011 04:43 GMT
#14
well written nice job
ㅋㄲㅈㅁ
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
September 11 2011 05:00 GMT
#15
lol nice
Writer
Crisium
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States1618 Posts
September 11 2011 05:01 GMT
#16
I liked it. Keep the creative BW stuff coming.
Broodwar and Stork forever! List of BW players with most Ro16, Ro8: http://tinyurl.com/BWRo16-Ro8
Froadac
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States6733 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-11 05:19:59
September 11 2011 05:19 GMT
#17
I remember her bringing bill gates or somebody on.

It was like

"and nooowwwww, I would like to welcome.......... BILL GATES"

The clapping was quieter than usual ^-^

Funny read nonetheless.
alffla
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Hong Kong20321 Posts
September 11 2011 05:30 GMT
#18
lol cool. i never watched oprah but that was fun to read anyway
Graphicssavior[gm] : What is a “yawn” rape ;; Masumune - It was the year of the pig for those fucking defilers. Chill - A clinic you say? okum: SC without Korean yelling is like porn without sex. konamix: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!
HaruHaru
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States988 Posts
September 11 2011 05:46 GMT
#19
Fun read thanks for the laughs haha
Long live BroodWar!
rabidch
Profile Joined January 2010
United States20289 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-11 06:00:46
September 11 2011 06:00 GMT
#20
i'd probably appreciate this moer if i had watched an entire show of oprah before
LiquidDota StaffOnly a true king can play the King.
chocolatebunny
Profile Joined September 2011
301 Posts
September 11 2011 06:02 GMT
#21
why does this have to be ficticious.
i might actually watch the oprah channel if she interviewed jangbi. lol
FinestHour
Profile Joined August 2010
United States18466 Posts
September 11 2011 06:08 GMT
#22
Eh, not bad

Hopefully this doesnt spawn a flood of fictitious interviews
thug life.                                                       MVP/ex-
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
September 11 2011 06:11 GMT
#23
On September 11 2011 15:02 chocolatebunny wrote:
why does this have to be ficticious.
i might actually watch the oprah channel if she interviewed jangbi. lol

I never knew Oprah has her own channel.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
chocolatebunny
Profile Joined September 2011
301 Posts
September 11 2011 06:36 GMT
#24
On September 11 2011 15:11 SilverSkyLark wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 11 2011 15:02 chocolatebunny wrote:
why does this have to be ficticious.
i might actually watch the oprah channel if she interviewed jangbi. lol

I never knew Oprah has her own channel.


i thought oprah left her show cause she had like her own channel.
idk
maybe i was wrong.

http://www.oprah.com/own
well there is the website, so i don't think i am wrong :D

the more you know
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
September 11 2011 06:41 GMT
#25
On September 11 2011 15:36 chocolatebunny wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 11 2011 15:11 SilverSkyLark wrote:
On September 11 2011 15:02 chocolatebunny wrote:
why does this have to be ficticious.
i might actually watch the oprah channel if she interviewed jangbi. lol

I never knew Oprah has her own channel.


i thought oprah left her show cause she had like her own channel.
idk
maybe i was wrong.

http://www.oprah.com/own
well there is the website, so i don't think i am wrong :D

the more you know

D:
Mother of God.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
FlaShFTW
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States10139 Posts
September 11 2011 06:41 GMT
#26
If Oprah did this id forever watch her show.
Writer#1 KT and FlaSh Fanboy || Woo Jung Ho Never Forget || Teamliquid Political Decision Desk
TL+ Member
Iplaythings
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Denmark9110 Posts
September 11 2011 06:49 GMT
#27
Me chobo him gosu etc.

Nice read, well done
In the woods, there lurks..
funnybananaman
Profile Joined April 2009
United States830 Posts
September 11 2011 06:54 GMT
#28
hahah hilarious
MangoTango
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States3670 Posts
September 11 2011 07:02 GMT
#29
well that was unexpected. haha.
"One fish, two fish, red fish, BLUE TANK!" - Artosis
Probe1
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States17920 Posts
September 11 2011 07:04 GMT
#30
It took me until
Jangbi: I’m from Korea, the good Korea, and I play Starcraft

to start cracking up ^^
Excellent read thank you.
우정호 KT_VIOLET 1988 - 2012 While we are postponing, life speeds by
0mgVitaminE
Profile Joined February 2009
United States1278 Posts
September 11 2011 07:07 GMT
#31
Nope. Bad. Me gosu him chobo etc etc.
LOL

Jangbi gonna take this final ez
Hi there. I'm in a cave, how bout you?
duk3
Profile Joined September 2010
United States807 Posts
September 11 2011 07:16 GMT
#32
It's much funnier if you read it while imagining her voice lol
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
MoriyaGXP
Profile Joined September 2010
Korea (South)240 Posts
September 11 2011 07:35 GMT
#33
wtf is this... TL is turning into trolling threads?
Jaedong/Bisu/Tossgirl fan <3
Phyrigian
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
New Zealand1332 Posts
September 11 2011 07:41 GMT
#34
--- Nuked ---
Emon_
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
3925 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-11 08:10:23
September 11 2011 08:00 GMT
#35
Cool post (: Go Jang, Go!
On September 11 2011 16:41 Phyrigian wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 11 2011 16:35 MoriyaGXP wrote:
wtf is this... TL is turning into trolling threads?


how is this exactly....trolling?

What, you didn't hear? KeSPA manipulated the OSL and gave Jangbang the win even though Soo won 3-0. Naturally only hardcore SKT fans know about this and can spread the truth in topics such as this. The day will come when they start their alternative to teamliquid - SKTeamliquid.net - where Bisu and Fanta have every golden mouse and badge ever created.
"I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully" -GWB ||
Taekwon
Profile Joined May 2010
United States8155 Posts
September 11 2011 14:01 GMT
#36
"Oprah: We actually have a clip of that right NOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!"

LMFAO, i imagined her gaudy voice perfectly
▲ ▲ ▲
ShatterZer0
Profile Joined November 2010
United States1843 Posts
September 11 2011 14:03 GMT
#37
hahahaha omg this was awesome! Completely brightened up my day!
A time to live.
Reyis
Profile Joined August 2009
Pitcairn287 Posts
September 11 2011 14:15 GMT
#38
rofl nice.

btw i got scared for a second when i opened the spoilers omfg lolol
기적의 혁명가 김택용 화이팅~!!
epoc
Profile Joined December 2010
Finland1190 Posts
September 11 2011 14:19 GMT
#39
What? Oprah? W-What?!
Rodiel3
Profile Joined March 2011
France1158 Posts
September 11 2011 14:22 GMT
#40
Good idea, nice writing
http://www.youtube.com/user/rodiel3 SCBW FPVOD
dejahu
Profile Joined April 2011
United States83 Posts
September 11 2011 14:32 GMT
#41
pretty hilarious man. thx for the read.
Denial isn't only a river in Egypt.
RinesOnRx
Profile Joined April 2011
Canada74 Posts
September 11 2011 14:42 GMT
#42
It was overall a really good read, but you forgot to mention haunenim, and "those of you don't know gaming"
[Azn]Nada
Profile Joined April 2009
United States275 Posts
September 11 2011 15:06 GMT
#43
The storm- Nate MSL fiasco lmaooo, god that was funny shit
reincremate
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
China2213 Posts
September 11 2011 15:18 GMT
#44
lmao at the Luxury date rape drugging and puppy choking rage. Pure comedic genius.
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
September 11 2011 15:25 GMT
#45
nice oprah impression, but you forgot:
to everyone in the audience.
a free scarf from PARMONEYYYY

if you ever do this with a video clip try to emulate this :D
DejaVu119
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States131 Posts
September 11 2011 15:40 GMT
#46
I can't believe you accused jangbi of choking puppies HE WOULD NEVER!
slappy
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States1271 Posts
September 11 2011 16:23 GMT
#47
thanks for this! good laughs
jaedong imba
caldo149
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States469 Posts
September 11 2011 18:42 GMT
#48
loool this is so funny and so good!! haha Jangbi #1
Thanks for this, it made my day.
Hellions are my homeboys
Thrill
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
2599 Posts
September 11 2011 18:45 GMT
#49
BW continues to spawn the best content. ^__^
vincom2
Profile Joined June 2011
Singapore1775 Posts
September 11 2011 19:04 GMT
#50
Never watched oprah, but that was funny :D
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
September 11 2011 23:18 GMT
#51
On September 12 2011 00:25 Roe wrote:
nice oprah impression, but you forgot:
to everyone in the audience.
a free scarf from PARMONEYYYY

if you ever do this with a video clip try to emulate this :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZwSTadVGqE

Heh, would be funny but I dont have the resources to make some fancy video. =)
Jubio
Profile Joined June 2010
United States50 Posts
September 11 2011 23:52 GMT
#52
great read, thank you :D
LOL late game terran I "Manner cc is a must, but as a ceremony it was not quite enough, manner cc needs to have at least 5 SCVs doing it" - FBH I Savior broke my heart ;_;
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
September 16 2011 16:30 GMT
#53
Popping this back up because SIXTEEN MORE HOURS!

A wee bit more hype can't hurt. =)
BloodDrunK
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Bangladesh2767 Posts
September 16 2011 17:27 GMT
#54
lol fun read. thnx a lot...

gogo Jangbi.
You have the power to create your own destiny.
Thug[ro]
Profile Joined October 2005
Romania340 Posts
September 16 2011 18:06 GMT
#55
lol @ Oprah's face

also i remember that storm T_T NaDa
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