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Ok, so long story short, I was playing a game of SC on Iccup, when I suddenly had a craving for a beer. Now normally, I'd get up and get one myself, since the upstairs kitchen is pretty close to my gaming room, and letting the game go for 30 secs is no problem for me, since I'd win regardless. However, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob at the time, and I thought it'd be rude if I just suddenly got up in the middle of it. Not to mention it's hard for me to walk with a boner, since my dick tends to knock things over and impede my movement. So instead, I decided to have one the maids get a beer for me, but unfortunately, while she was doing so, she stumbled and knocked over one of my father's $300,000 vases and broke it.
I feel bad, since I was partially responsible, as I was the one who requested that she get me a beer. It's pretty likely that she'll get fired over this if either of my parents find out, and I would like to avoid that if possible, since the maid in question is both very nice and very easy on the eyes. Normally, I'd just claim that I broke the vase, put in a few days of day trading, and pay my parents for the vase, but I'm slated to fly to Cancun tomorrow and would rather avoid the hassle.
So my plan was to just glue the bloody vase back together since it didn't break into many pieces, and my parents own dozens of vases like it and probably won't even notice. So this is where I need your help Team Liquid. I'd like to know what kind of glue would be best to use on an antique high-quality porcelain vase from China.
Sorry if I left out any important information as my girlfriend is still going at it and is now joined by the maid in question, and it's somewhat distracting.
Please help TL. Thank you.
P.S.
+ Show Spoiler +Brag blogs are bad mmkay.
P.P.S.
+ Show Spoiler +My dick really is gigantic though.
  
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Pics of girlfriend + maid + vase.
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... - dick
If I really wanted to see a gigantic cock being sucked, I'd just need to go to your mom's house and take off my pants.
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Here is a nice recipe for antique gosu glue.
WIE SIE DEN ANTIKEN KLEBER SELBST HERSTELLEN KÖNNEN
1 – 2 TL Leinsamen
1 Tasse Wasser
1 Tropfen Shampoo
< 1 TL Essig
Source: http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/technik/0,1518,675814,00.html
P.S.: If you cannot read it, let your penis do the translation. Usually giant penises are fluent in German.
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lol, i smiled
what is this supposed to be mocking? links to other threads appreciated
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Nice satire, made me laugh,
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On February 06 2010 01:01 exalted wrote:
lol, i smiled
what is this supposed to be mocking? links to other threads appreciated
Mocking? I don't know what you're talking about. I honestly need help here guys. The jokes about my mom are not appreciated by the way.
+ Show Spoiler +
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South Africa4316 Posts
Interestingly enough, my friend's maid broke my friend's father's vase like a week ago and got fired. Her father took like 3 years to make it, so he wasn't very happy when it got broken. Kinda shitty situation for both the maid and the father 
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Sell the vase, buy a ferrari.
Problem solved.
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Excellent...
This is pretty much what I see in every brag disguised as a blog.
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So you come from a rich family, have the ability to command a maid, are able to casually blog about losing $300,000, AND you have a large penis?
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Wow, I've only been taking german for a semester and I almost know what that means.
HOW YOU THE ANTIQUE GLUE YOURSELF TO MAKE CAN
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I disagree with this blog entirely.
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I like the idea, but you're not doing it right. You're trying too hard. Although I did smile.
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EPT
