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First off, bugs terrify me. They are filthy disgusting creatures and when I manage to muster up the courage kill one I feel like I've bettered our world just a little bit.
Two days ago I see this jumping cricket thing in my laundry room making these loud ass noises when it jumps because it springs like 4 feet into the air and lands on the tile. I haven't seen one of these in a couple years but they're so annoying and unfortunately bugs scare the shit out of me so I just leave it alone and figure one of my pets will take care of it or it will find its way to the furnace area of my laundry room and never be seen again.
The next day I go into my bedroom and the fucking thing IS IN MY GOD DAMN BEDROOM STICKING TO THE SIDE OF MY BED. It seems almost ridiculous the thing hopped all the way up two sets of stairs but apparently it did.
Immediately I grab a towel and swing at the fucking thing and it dodges (how the fuck?) and hops its ass around to my desk. I take another swing multiple times missing the thing knocking stuff down all over the place. It jumps behind one of my shelves. Naturally I go get some fucking RAID to nuke the son of a bitch, who cares about poison all over my room, right? I can't find any so I get some scrubbing bubbles since cleaning something so filthy has to be fatal to it I assume. So I see the thing at the bottom of my shelf and I nuke the fuck good covering it in scrubbing bubbles and its like completely white and soapy. This is where it should fall over and die but NO, the thing jumps up again and hops over to another corner of my room behind my bureau and I'm just drenching my room in soap in the process.
I lean over and take a peak under and see it sitting there. I try spraying it again and it remains completely unaffected. I go get my cat Tazzy, she's killed multiple mice in our house so surely she can handle this 2 inch bug. I drag her away from our sofa in the living room plop her on my carpet. I move the bureau and the thing just jumps out and startles me and my cat of course does nothing but stand there. I've completely lost track of it at this point, so I spend 30 minutes looking for the fucking thing and can't find it and give up.
I'm really tired so I turn off everything in my room and lie down and try to go to sleep.. but I can hear it. I hear the noise it makes when it jumps.. but everywhere I check it isn't there. It's taunting me...mocking me... I give up and go to sleep downstairs.
Today I try lying down in my room a bit, thinking it could be gone but nope. I hear it every few seconds, making the hair rise on my skin. I search everywhere and I can't find it and have completely lost hope. I spent like an HOUR looking for the thing I'm starting to question whether it even exists and I'm just having a psychotic breakdown. I go to one corner of the room and start hearing clicking on the other side and then one I go to the other side I hear little noises elsewhere.
Sigh...I know it's going to get me in my sleep.
 
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What in interesting story.
Did you know, humans consume an average of 15 bugs in their sleep during their lifetime?
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lmao
i bet you hate playing zerg
also, you didn't kill it because you were probably using roach or ant RAID, you need to get a special cricket one, do some research on the cricket that's lurking in your room and when you identify it, google it's scientific name and get that specific RAID (like Gryllus veletis, if that's the one).
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On October 02 2009 11:22 neobowman wrote:
What in interesting story.
Did you know, humans consume an average of 15 bugs in their sleep during their lifetime?
rofl are you serious i never knew this
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On October 02 2009 11:22 neobowman wrote:
What in interesting story.
Did you know, humans consume an average of 15 bugs in their sleep during their lifetime?
That the statistics include the Africans, South Americans, Filipinos, or what not, might have something to do with this.
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Hi,
You should probably look into whether or not the insect killing products are good for your cat, since you seem to be using them with some indiscretion.
Also - in the future, have a paper cup handy. It covers a larger area and since nothing is coming down directly ON the insect they will have a harder time dodging it. Then, slide a piece of paper (or ideally thin cardboard) underneath, and take it outside. Even if you choose to kill it later this is still a much more effective method (at least for bugs that can't fly). Also, insects aren't really as unclean as you seem to think (look at their small surface area... you are carrying way more filth than they possibly could in their lifetime - for many insects anyway).
Also - if it is this bad for you maybe you should consider therapy?
At any rate, if nothing else, hold back on the Raid for the sake of your cat (or at least make sure it's not unhealthy for him, which I doubt (it's probably not so great for you either as you seem to realize)).
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I actually heard that on average we eat multiple siders peryear, but spiders arent insects are they?
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I generally like insects, I think they are pretty cool..but roaches..FUCK I hate roaches so bad!
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I love stories from people who are terrified of bugs. To me its like hearing a story from an uncharted planet. How can you be scared of something so small and insignificant?
Whats also amusing is that you would have had 0 problems with it if you just manned up and killed it right away. From the sound of it you were just swinging blindly in a fit of rage.
People can usually get over their phobia of bugs though, once they realize being scared of them usually does more harm than good.
Good luck getting rid of him, even now he is plotting his next move.
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On October 02 2009 11:26 Guilty wrote:
I actually heard that on average we eat multiple siders peryear, but spiders arent insects are they?
I don't believe this, or the insects part.
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The only solution: liquid fire also known as napalm.
what you need:
Gasoline
styrofoam
lighters
what you do:
soak styrofoam in gasoline and let sit overnight
in the AM: light styrofoam and apply to face and arms
roll around your bedroom to attract the bug
GG
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On October 02 2009 11:29 PanN wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2009 11:26 Guilty wrote:
I actually heard that on average we eat multiple siders peryear, but spiders arent insects are they? I don't believe this, or the insects part.
How do you know you don't sleep with your mouth open?
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On October 02 2009 11:30 Hypnosis wrote:
The only solution: liquid fire also known as napalm.
what you need:
Gasoline
styrofoam
lighters
what you do:
soak styrofoam in gasoline and let sit overnight
in the AM: light styrofoam and apply to face and arms
roll around your bedroom to attract the bug
GG
better idea, make an ss mine
put a nail in a board and bury the board nail up
then place a shotgun shell right over the nail and bury that so maybe a quarter inch of the shell is exposed.
wait for the spider to step on it. If you're lucky its really fuckin big and weighs enough to fire the shell. GG.
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Urban legend. Dissected on your favorite skeptic site.
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oh hai, sorry about getting soap everywhere 
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On October 02 2009 11:30 Someguywhodoesn'tknowhowtousehisnose wrote:
How do you know you don't sleep with your mouth open?
Because my nose works fine.
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On October 02 2009 11:22 neobowman wrote:
What in interesting story.
Did you know, humans consume an average of 15 bugs in their sleep during their lifetime?
I swear every time someone states this bullshit statistic the number gets bigger..
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On October 02 2009 11:26 Guilty wrote:
I actually heard that on average we eat multiple siders peryear, but spiders arent insects are they?
That's right. Spiders aren't insects, but people eating some number of spiders a year on average is false.
http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp
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how did something like people swallowing spiders while they sleep even become such an entrenched rumor. I mean shit, it doesn't even make any sense.
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EPT
