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Online Dating Adventures

Blogs > Xeris
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1 2 3 4 Next All
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 02:41:03
July 30 2009 02:23 GMT
#1
Obviously inspired by Kennigit's blog, I thought to myself... I'm going to cook me up a winning formula, aka the most awesome, jaw-dropping profile possible guaranteed to get Jessica Alba to divorce her husband (is she married even?), sign up at the site, and immediately send me a message asking for marriage. So after careful planning and deliberation, this is what I created:

-----

Hey everyone, I finally decided to sign up for this site and give online dating a try, I'm over the whole club/bar scene because picking up easy, good looking women at bars is as easy as not missing the toilet bowl when I take a piss in the mornings. I'm here because like you, I am a real person looking for something more.

I guess this is the part where I should say a little about myself, I've been driving an M3 since high school and live in a multimillion dollar condo (beach-front) that my parents generously provided me. I've had a tough life but at the end of the day when I smell the scent of the ocean pass by on a cool night breeze, I realize that things are going to be ok. I'm a pretty attractive guy too (and not just because I own an M3), I have smooth olive skin, a full head of blond hair, and a nice complexion. I'm not going to lie to you, throughout my school years I was attractive to all the girls in my classes. My parents are the co-founders of NetJet, so I have enough income to one day be able to buy a small island... I'm just looking for a special someone here to share it with.

My interests vary from badminton to reading car magazines. Mostly though, I'm into Starcraft (which is a computer game played professionally in Korea). I'm kind of a big deal in the community, being a well known admin (I'm way too cool to actually play the game myself) of some websites and have my own sponsored team, earning hundreds of dollars per month. I like to consider myself as being a young Jerry Buss, except more handsome and intelligent.

On weekends I like to sit around on the computer while I manage my team's matches, staring blankly at the screen while I watch other people play for me. After that (by this time it's late at night) I used to go out on the town, but nowadays I'd like to spend my time in the arms of a loving companion... and that's where you come in.

-----

Anyways thanks to WingSandrockX, Lastshadow, and myself for providing me with the winning formula. This is what you get when you combine by far the three coolest people in Starcraft. What woman can resist such charm and grace? Not to mention the olive skin.

I'll let you all know how it turns out.

By the way... if you had to rate this profile on a scale from 7-10.. with 7 being "Borderline Awesome" and a 10 being "I'd bang this guy right now", what would it be?

[image loading]

Poll: How awesome is this profile?
(Vote): 10
(Vote): 9
(Vote): 8
(Vote): 7


PROFILE HERE

*****
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
AoN.DimSum
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States2983 Posts
July 30 2009 02:27 GMT
#2
10 i just came while reading it
by my idol krokkis : "U better hope Finland wont have WCG next year and that I wont gain shitloads of skill, cause then I will wash ur mouth with soap, little man."
StarN
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States2587 Posts
July 30 2009 02:27 GMT
#3
11. Badminton is hot.
Retired BW Noob
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
July 30 2009 02:28 GMT
#4
I appreciate kenningt's concept, although I disagreed with some of the things he wrote.

However, if it works it works -- tell me how this goes for you =p
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
July 30 2009 02:28 GMT
#5
Link to profile please.
KawaiiRice
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States2914 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 02:32:23
July 30 2009 02:31 GMT
#6
Why the fuck did you mention lastshadow, go jump off a cliff.

Edit: needs a -10 option

[image loading]

Poll: How awesome is this profile?
(Vote): -10
(Vote): something lower
@KawaiiRiceLighT
littlechava
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
United States7216 Posts
July 30 2009 02:32 GMT
#7
80000 DOLLAR BMW?!?!
Entusman #12
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
July 30 2009 02:34 GMT
#8
On July 30 2009 11:31 KawaiiRice wrote:
Why the fuck did you mention lastshadow, go jump off a cliff.

Edit: needs a -10 option

[image loading]

Poll: How awesome is this profile?
(Vote): -10
(Vote): something lower


kawaii you're so cute that all the girls would go for you.....CUTIE RICE ^^
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
July 30 2009 02:38 GMT
#9
On July 30 2009 11:28 Kennigit wrote:
Link to profile please.


http://www.plentyoffish.com/member14281710.htm
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
AtlaS
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1001 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-07-30 02:40:16
July 30 2009 02:39 GMT
#10
+ Show Spoiler +
On July 30 2009 11:23 Xeris wrote:

My interests vary from badminton to reading car magazines. Mostly though, I'm into Starcraft (which is a computer game played professionally in Korea). I'm kind of a big deal in the community, being a well known admin (I'm way too cool to actually play the game myself) of some websites and have my own sponsored team, earning hundreds of dollars per month. I like to consider myself as being a young Jerry Buss, except more handsome and intelligent.




I just lol'ed so hard. this is best thing i've seen all week. thank you for this.
I don't have mono anymore. Woooo!
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
July 30 2009 02:41 GMT
#11
I'll keep you guys posted if I get any messages loool! +P
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
July 30 2009 02:41 GMT
#12
LOL @ link.

Gold Xeris! I can't wait to hear results :o
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
July 30 2009 02:43 GMT
#13
I'm I took a picture that has an excellent view of my sidekick so they can see I also own a $300 phone (how much are sidekick's anyways?)
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
KawaiiRice
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States2914 Posts
July 30 2009 02:45 GMT
#14
On July 30 2009 11:38 Xeris wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 30 2009 11:28 Kennigit wrote:
Link to profile please.


http://www.plentyoffish.com/member14281710.htm


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

@KawaiiRiceLighT
SCC-Faust
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3736 Posts
July 30 2009 02:46 GMT
#15
Why do you look like Lastshadow in that picture?
I want to fuck Soulkey with a Zelderan.
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
July 30 2009 02:47 GMT
#16
so are you going to tell us about these adventures or what?
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
July 30 2009 02:48 GMT
#17
On July 30 2009 11:46 SCC-Faust wrote:
Why do you look like Lastshadow in that picture?


It's all me baby.
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
Trezeguet
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States2656 Posts
July 30 2009 02:49 GMT
#18
On July 30 2009 11:43 Xeris wrote:
I'm I took a picture that has an excellent view of my sidekick so they can see I also own a $300 phone (how much are sidekick's anyways?)

I see you got lastshadows help with that too
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
July 30 2009 02:49 GMT
#19
So how many ladies have you had to turn down so far?
Administrator
SCC-Faust
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3736 Posts
July 30 2009 02:49 GMT
#20
On July 30 2009 11:48 Xeris wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 30 2009 11:46 SCC-Faust wrote:
Why do you look like Lastshadow in that picture?


It's all me baby.


Well I must say you both have an excellent taste in shirts.
I want to fuck Soulkey with a Zelderan.
1 2 3 4 Next All
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