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I was reading live report during the latest Light VS Jaedong game and I found their live reporting very funny. Hence I did a compilation:
(kudos to maareek and CDRdude)
maareek United States. March 08 2009 14:58. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
Oz not wanting to endanger a playoff spot. Jaedong v Light. Prepare for the epic. I believe!
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:11. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
Jaedong's unworthy opponent (who's really ugly btw) is making a supply in a location to wall off his natural, clearly a strategy he leaned from better players. The Tyrant is making a hatchery at his natural, confident in his brutal macro.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:12. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
The Legend killer places his spawning pool, and with that move, the seeds of the terran destruction are sowed.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:13. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
The great n.Die_Jaedong is making an additional hatchery at his mineral only, to further his ends for complete destruction of his enemy
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:13. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
Light, the brilliant tactician, knows the inferior zerg opponent's thoughts and keeps said opponent from making a third hatchery until he deems it fit.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:14. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
the Awesome Zerg's opponent is getting an academy, not like it's going to help him any. The Tyrant begins to morph his lair.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:14. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
The scared zerg runs for lair tech, trying to catch our noble hero unawares. Light takes his gas and scouts his high ground, confident.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:15. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
A spire is placed, soon we will be witness to the greatest mutalisk harass Starcraft has ever known.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:15. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
Knowing that his opponent has a small army, Jaedong wisely decides to make sunken colonies at his natural.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:15. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
Jaedong, obviously outclassed, is putting down a spire. Reading the rather unintelligent boy's mind, the great Light[alive] makes more rax.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:16. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
With brilliant micro, jaedong sneaks a zergling inside his enemies base, and gains information. His mutalisks are out, and Light's doom is at hand.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:16. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
Light, all-knowing that is he, scans directly on top of the cowering infestor's tech choice. He has no fear, even though he hasn't a single turret yet and mutas are on the way.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:18. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
The Legend Killer's mutalisk harass is perfection itself, Light might as well have given up 5 minutes ago, when he joined the game with the Tyrant.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:18. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
The poor , inefficient zerg user finds his ugly mutalisks unwelcome at Light's base. The amazing (and handsome) terran commander repeatedly forces them to retreat ... though he sometimes allows his men to sacrifice themselves to bait Jaedong along.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:19. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
Lurkers are out for the zerg tyrant. Attacking the temples behind his inferior opponent's main, his strategy is clearly well planned.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:19. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
The cowardly zerg expands to the top left main and morphs lurkers. The brave, intrepid Light looks to be aiming for a third expansion, and keeps the zerg army in check with a mere handful of troops.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:20. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
The temples are down, and units are free to flood into his opponents ridge, with only a few puny bunkers to destroy before gaining total dominance over the high ground. But it's a trick, jaedong attacks the front of the natural, showing his brilliance yet again.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:20. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
With fingers like those of a god, Jaedong micros his mutalisks and scourge to destroy the first science vessel, adding to his concrete advantage.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:21. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
Showing his true colors (read: yellow) the infestor breaks down the backdoor to Light's base. But the commander knowingly placed such a backdoor so he could more effectively destroy the dumb cerebrate's forces. He deflects a pathetic assault attempt. To show just how superior he is in tactics, he allows the dumb zerg to pick off a science vessel, just so he won't gg yet.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:22. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
A defiler is out for the glory of the Swarm! The Tyrant is sure to use this lates addition to his army well.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:22. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
The orange clouds covering the map contrast with the dark red blood of dying marines.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:23. Posts 869PM Profile Quote
The bastion of chivalry and all that's right in the world Light tries to break down the zerg's backdoor to spare the lives of many innocent zerg, but the cerebrate sends them into the meat grinder regardless. Having cleaned up the force, Light returns home to mourn.
Once again the infestor shows his yellow belly by bringing in defilers to the game - clearly he has no sense of fair play.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:23. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
The Legend Killer has overlords across the map, scouting anywhere his opponent could hope to go. He engages the opponents army, which is only saved by defensive matrix.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:24. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
Moving in once again, micro like that unto a god, orange clouds cover the map, and tanks explode.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:24. Posts 870PM Profile Quote
Once again Light attempts to end this war quickly with little bloodshed, but Jaedong will have nothing of the sort, wantonly spilling the blood of his own soldiers and hurling it at the noble terran warriors. Light knows this disgusting display must be put to an end, and returns home to set up a new plan.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:25. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
An exquisitely placed plague drains the health from more of light's army. With utterly brilliant multitasking and awareness, the Tyrant blocks a drop with ease.
CDRdude United States. March 08 2009 15:25. Posts 3805PM Profile Blog Quote
Jaedong moving in with an excellent flank, his opponent realizes his inferiority, and GG's.
maareek United States. March 08 2009 15:27. Posts 870PM Profile Quote
Continuing to string this poor newbie along, Light throws away yet more of his own soldiers in feigned harass attempts. The coward once more uses his dastardly hack device, and Light realizes that it's fruitless to lower himself to play with such an ill mannered and obviously evil (and ugly!) child. He politely excuses himself and strides away with his dignity intact. Which is more than one can say for his opponent.
and btw i'm a huge Jaedong fan as well =D
 
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Man, I always thought I could win at a biased live report.
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thunk looks on with a few flecks of sadness in his eyes, as his livereporting peers surpass him in style and visibility
and holy shit when did you get so many posts
you really are ghostclaws' brother
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I save the best for the  Tyrant. Thanks for the blog, I missed a couple of maareek's posts 
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United States4991 Posts
Haha, an amusing read. Thanks for extracting it
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i missed the games, these LR should be in a separated read (like this), they are so better when there is an opposing side.
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These can sometimes be entertaining, but I mostly find them annoying. However, don't mind me. Keep up the good work, your entertainment is widely appreciated.
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I think this started with CDRdude vs Aesop in the OSL ro8 JD vs Stork
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United States11637 Posts
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Looool props to the LRers.
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On March 08 2009 18:37 ZBiR wrote:
I think this started with CDRdude vs Aesop in the OSL ro8 JD vs Stork
I think that was the first time anyone took the initiative to respond to my blatant bias fair and balanced coverage™, but the first time I did biased live reports like this was back in November.
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United States20661 Posts
Someone needs to report for Reach's opponents tomorrow. I promise I don't bite. Much.
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On March 08 2009 19:42 CDRdude wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2009 18:37 ZBiR wrote:
I think this started with CDRdude vs Aesop in the OSL ro8 JD vs Stork I think that was the first time anyone took the initiative to respond to my blatant bias fair and balanced coverage™, but the first time I did biased live reports like this was back in November.
yeah, I meant the bias duel, the art of biased report was developed way earlier:
+ Show Spoiler +On January 17 2005 20:48 Manifesto7 wrote:
Game 3: Reach (p) 59-48 vs SaferZerg (z) 16-11 on Neo Guillotine
I have heard rumblings about my reporting being somewhat biased towards Reach, and that I should try to be more impartial. I apologize for this, and will try to curb my enthusiasm for him from now on.
The greatest StarCraft player on the earth today (23-28 vs Z) warped in at five, while SaferZerg (4-3 vs P) spawned across the map at eleven. Safer went for a safe twelve pool build while scouting the map, while Odin himself used his brilliant intellect and cunning to start with a forge-first build which quickly led to a fast nexus. It looked as if the game would boil down to a race between Reach’s sairs and Safer’s mutalisks, but in reality there was no competition. Saferzerg was forced to switch to lurkers while the Gifted One’s air power dominated the skies.
While Safer looked to contain with his new lurkers, Reach simply shrugged off his opponents mild attempts at resistance as his dt artfully ninja sliced the drones at Safer’s expansion. Bordering on contempt for this pathetic display of zerg offense, Reach broke out of his main with a zeal/goon/temp army, decimating his opponent’s lurkers and expanding two more times. With only one expansion, Safer was unable to keep up with the protoss macro game, and with every breath Reach gave life to new legions of armies willing to do his bidding. As Safer huddled in the corner of the map, mounting no offense and trying to avoid detection, Reach launched his Spartans relentlessly, raining blue fire down upon the confused and frightened zerg. With the blood running in torrents, Safer quickly taped out in the face of the onslaught, took one look at the face of God, and ran from the MegaWeb studio to find solace in the company of lesser mortals.
Reach simply got up, made all the girls swoon with a single smile, and then got into his cloud car and headed back to the heavens for fine wine and peeled grapes.
Reach > SaferZerg
Unfortunately, this does not change things for my Mudang hero. However, he will ultimately extract revenge upon all those who attempt to sully his name.
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On March 08 2009 20:45 ZBiR wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2009 19:42 CDRdude wrote:On March 08 2009 18:37 ZBiR wrote:
I think this started with CDRdude vs Aesop in the OSL ro8 JD vs Stork I think that was the first time anyone took the initiative to respond to my blatant bias fair and balanced coverage™, but the first time I did biased live reports like this was back in November. yeah, I meant the bias duel, the art of biased report was developed way earlier: + Show Spoiler +On January 17 2005 20:48 Manifesto7 wrote:
Game 3: Reach (p) 59-48 vs SaferZerg (z) 16-11 on Neo Guillotine
I have heard rumblings about my reporting being somewhat biased towards Reach, and that I should try to be more impartial. I apologize for this, and will try to curb my enthusiasm for him from now on.
The greatest StarCraft player on the earth today (23-28 vs Z) warped in at five, while SaferZerg (4-3 vs P) spawned across the map at eleven. Safer went for a safe twelve pool build while scouting the map, while Odin himself used his brilliant intellect and cunning to start with a forge-first build which quickly led to a fast nexus. It looked as if the game would boil down to a race between Reach’s sairs and Safer’s mutalisks, but in reality there was no competition. Saferzerg was forced to switch to lurkers while the Gifted One’s air power dominated the skies.
While Safer looked to contain with his new lurkers, Reach simply shrugged off his opponents mild attempts at resistance as his dt artfully ninja sliced the drones at Safer’s expansion. Bordering on contempt for this pathetic display of zerg offense, Reach broke out of his main with a zeal/goon/temp army, decimating his opponent’s lurkers and expanding two more times. With only one expansion, Safer was unable to keep up with the protoss macro game, and with every breath Reach gave life to new legions of armies willing to do his bidding. As Safer huddled in the corner of the map, mounting no offense and trying to avoid detection, Reach launched his Spartans relentlessly, raining blue fire down upon the confused and frightened zerg. With the blood running in torrents, Safer quickly taped out in the face of the onslaught, took one look at the face of God, and ran from the MegaWeb studio to find solace in the company of lesser mortals.
Reach simply got up, made all the girls swoon with a single smile, and then got into his cloud car and headed back to the heavens for fine wine and peeled grapes.
Reach > SaferZerg
Unfortunately, this does not change things for my Mudang hero. However, he will ultimately extract revenge upon all those who attempt to sully his name.
It was that very report that gave me the idea
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On March 08 2009 20:45 ZBiR wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2009 19:42 CDRdude wrote:On March 08 2009 18:37 ZBiR wrote:
I think this started with CDRdude vs Aesop in the OSL ro8 JD vs Stork I think that was the first time anyone took the initiative to respond to my blatant bias fair and balanced coverage™, but the first time I did biased live reports like this was back in November. yeah, I meant the bias duel, the art of biased report was developed way earlier: + Show Spoiler +On January 17 2005 20:48 Manifesto7 wrote:
Game 3: Reach (p) 59-48 vs SaferZerg (z) 16-11 on Neo Guillotine
I have heard rumblings about my reporting being somewhat biased towards Reach, and that I should try to be more impartial. I apologize for this, and will try to curb my enthusiasm for him from now on.
The greatest StarCraft player on the earth today (23-28 vs Z) warped in at five, while SaferZerg (4-3 vs P) spawned across the map at eleven. Safer went for a safe twelve pool build while scouting the map, while Odin himself used his brilliant intellect and cunning to start with a forge-first build which quickly led to a fast nexus. It looked as if the game would boil down to a race between Reach’s sairs and Safer’s mutalisks, but in reality there was no competition. Saferzerg was forced to switch to lurkers while the Gifted One’s air power dominated the skies.
While Safer looked to contain with his new lurkers, Reach simply shrugged off his opponents mild attempts at resistance as his dt artfully ninja sliced the drones at Safer’s expansion. Bordering on contempt for this pathetic display of zerg offense, Reach broke out of his main with a zeal/goon/temp army, decimating his opponent’s lurkers and expanding two more times. With only one expansion, Safer was unable to keep up with the protoss macro game, and with every breath Reach gave life to new legions of armies willing to do his bidding. As Safer huddled in the corner of the map, mounting no offense and trying to avoid detection, Reach launched his Spartans relentlessly, raining blue fire down upon the confused and frightened zerg. With the blood running in torrents, Safer quickly taped out in the face of the onslaught, took one look at the face of God, and ran from the MegaWeb studio to find solace in the company of lesser mortals.
Reach simply got up, made all the girls swoon with a single smile, and then got into his cloud car and headed back to the heavens for fine wine and peeled grapes.
Reach > SaferZerg
Unfortunately, this does not change things for my Mudang hero. However, he will ultimately extract revenge upon all those who attempt to sully his name.
I have always maintained that that is the most fair, most honest and most true descriptions of a game that has ever been written on this site. The Mantoss has no opponents, merely unworthy pants-pissers he either spares or crushes, depending on his whim.
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HAhah.. I love these war propaganda-style LRs~!
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On March 08 2009 20:28 Last Romantic wrote:
Someone needs to report for Reach's opponents tomorrow. I promise I don't bite. Much.
I would, but Reach is so manly that whenever anyone live reports against him he reaches through the screen and choke-slams you so hard you black out for the duration of his match.
Also he does this while still playing.
With his foot.
His left one.
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The biased live reports are awesome
I think the when two people are being biased from both side, it actually gives the people who can't watch the game more insight then if one person was saying "Jaedong moves his lurkers onto a cliff and burrows them"
Agreed that Reach would destroy anyone foolish enough to live report against him
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EPT
