I didn't want to open a topic coz this is only for me. From now I'll be adding here links to the essays i write on Associated Content. Any comments/critics are welcome, but pls stay into the margins of humanity. So here we go:

1. StarCraft: BroodWar & StarCraft 2 Who Will Prevail?

wwooaa

Croatia179 Posts

January 17 2009 16:10 GMT

No comments/critics? If yes than i wrote the best essay in my whole life...hurray ><

Savio

United States1850 Posts

January 17 2009 17:02 GMT

Typos.

Fontong

United States6454 Posts

January 17 2009 17:13 GMT

Some of your sentences make my head spin.

Edit: This essay causes me to faceplam. It has some content but the poor writing obscures it, I suggest revision.

Xeris

Iran17695 Posts

January 17 2009 18:02 GMT

this is an essay actually published on some website? there spelling and grammar errors EVERYWHERE, and you should never, ever, use contractions like "aren't" , which you used about 4 times in the span of 3 lines , in a piece of writing.

Fontong

United States6454 Posts

January 17 2009 18:05 GMT

^^According to that website there is actually a possibility that he was paid for those articles.

GGQ

Canada2653 Posts

January 17 2009 19:59 GMT

As others have said, the content is good, but the writing is awkward at best.

Rev0lution

United States1805 Posts

January 17 2009 20:09 GMT

if english is your second language then its alright, but if not... then shame on you? or maybe ur still in middle school?

Xeris

Iran17695 Posts

January 17 2009 20:50 GMT

can I steal your job and get paid ? =p

wwooaa

Croatia179 Posts

January 17 2009 20:53 GMT

#10

well its some site where u write essays and get paid for it but u must have a lot of views to actually get something, and im in highschool from Croatia, and english is my 2nd language, the next time i wont use contractions..thx all ^^

Fontong

United States6454 Posts

January 17 2009 20:58 GMT

#11

In that case your english is pretty good.

A good tip that most people don't understand is that commas are super dangerous. It is good to try to avoid them, since you will end up using a bunch anyway.

wwooaa

Croatia179 Posts

January 17 2009 22:02 GMT

#12

ok great advices, that will help my english at school too ^^

conCentrate9

United States438 Posts

January 17 2009 22:11 GMT

#13

Don't get bogged down by people saying your English sucks. If you are as adamant as you seem about getting better, then you did a fine job.

il0seonpurpose

Korea (South)5638 Posts

January 17 2009 22:14 GMT

#14

I actually thought it was pretty good, just reading the context and not looking for errors and stuff. Good job, keep it up

wwooaa

Croatia179 Posts

January 17 2009 22:19 GMT

#15

Any ideas on next essay? i can do some more sc stuff if u want

Zapdos_Smithh

Canada2620 Posts

January 17 2009 22:37 GMT

#16

A lot of your sentences are really bad. The intro was hard to read, I just couldn't follow it without making a conscious effort of trying to decipher it. I just read the intro and browsed the rest b/c the intro usually indicates how good the essay will be. I would really work on your sentence structure, and try to make things flow and go smoothly.

Plus, it doesn't look like you are writing scholarly papers or anything on that website, so I would just try to make it more understandable than trying to make it like a proper essay.

Fontong

United States6454 Posts

January 18 2009 01:36 GMT

#17

On January 18 2009 07:19 wwooaa wrote:
Any ideas on next essay? i can do some more sc stuff if u want

http://senseofstar.blogspot.com/2006/12/thesis.html#comments

If you wrote about things like this guy that would be awesome...