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Today, the scariest fucking thing happened to me. You might not think it's bad, but at the time, I almost shit my pants.
So the University I go to has a big tower called Schmon Tower. Schmon is about ten floors and there is a lot of different stuff up there, there is business offices, registrar's office, but there is also five floors of library. In the library, obviously there are places to sit down and it's always quiet, that's why I like to go up there instead of the computer lab. It's quiet and peaceful, has a place to plug in my laptop and there is always room.
So I go to the fifth floor, do my Geography homework and then I decide to leave to go back to my car (where I now am writing this; the front seat of my car) to drop off my Geog. books and pickup my Soc. and Psych. ones, because I have a total of four hours lecture coming up. So I go to the elevator, press down and of course the only one that happens is fucking packed.
On a side note, I fucking hate when this happens; I hate it more than Scourge A.I. and even more then Atrioc (if you can believe it!). They all just look at me like, "You getting on?" Then they realise that I'm not and they make that face like, "Hahaha, no fucking room!" Assholes.
Ok so yeah, I stand there like an idiot as the door closes and I decide, well I don't want to press down again, because I don't want to run into the same group of people that I stared at while the door closed. (I don't even know if it's possible that this would have happened, after it closed the elevator went either up or down and in that case, everyone should have got off; except fresh new people who maybe got on and know nothing of prior experience with that particular group of elevator people. SIGH) Yet I digress.
So because I think of things like this often, I say fuck this, I'l just take the stares, good ol' exercise never hurt nobody. (unless of course you tripped and fell down the stairs, cracked your skull open and no one is there to help because they are all taking the much easier elevator.) So I open the door to the stairwell, go down a few steps and I notice there is a banner with one end tied to the railing, the other to the wall, blocking the path down. As far as I can recall, it read:
WARNING: Emergency stairs only, do not use. Return to floor five and use the elevator from there. Thank you.
Or something to that effect. Regardless, I just walked here and I don't want to walk all the way to the elevator (there goes my exercise argument). I take a peek over the railing and look down at the rest of the stairs, I see no other banners saying anything, so I try to justify just hopping over the banner and heading down. I thought to myself, "Well what if I was on floor four and I had taken the stairs down? I wouldn't have seen this banner and since there isn't a banner on every single flight down, it's just as likely I had come from the fourth floor and thereby missing the warning, relieving me of any trouble I could get into if caught." That was my reasoning. So I step over the banner, breaking it by accident in the process like a fucking idiot.
I go down one flight of stairs to floor four and I don't know why, but I chose to see if the door there was open, it wasn't; this should have been a red flag. So I just think whatever and keep heading down, I make it down to floor two and as I turn the corner to head down the last ten or so steps to floor one, I notice a camera and one of those siren-alarm doohickeys. So I look at it like, what the fuc--!!!
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
The Siren-alarm goes off and the loudspeaker is yelling warning. This was fucking loud as hell, I was shocked and I just stood there in shock for a moment, then the the loudspeaker says:
WARNING
WARNING
THERE IS A PERSON IN THE EMERGENCY STAIRWELL
I REPREAT, THERE IS A PERSON IN THE EMERGENCY STAIRWELL
WARNING
WARNING
This was all I needed to hear and I fucking turned and booked it up five flights of stairs as fast I could fucking run, scared as shit the whole time. I finally make it up the fifth floor and I think... fuck I was just here, I'l go the sixth and then I won't look like such an idiot, I go to the sixth, so this is six flights of stairs I just scrambled up, I go to the elevator, hit down and the door opens, I walk in and as the door closes I realise that i'm breathing heavy like a fucking deranged maniac, the people in that elevator must've thought I was mentally imbalanced -not too far off?
Anyways, hopefully you found this entertaining, I am laughing about now to myself... in my car, which is kind of odd, but I thought i'd share it with you all before I tell my friends how much of an idiot I just was.
 
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Oh right, I'l check this again in four hours as I just realized i'm a few minutes late for class!
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Reminds me of this time I went this in elevator when I was like 11, and the light inside died right when the door closed before I pushed any button. So I couldn't see shit so I just mashed every button in a panic and hit the emergency alarm. So after about 10 more seconds of being stuck in this elevator I finally hit the door open button, and I ran my ass outa that place.
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they caught you on camera - they're going to capture you then take you to the secret torturing facility where you'll be whipped and brutally beaten. Godspeed!
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You must have taken the wrong stairs, I always take the stairs at Schmon Tower 
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what would happen to u
if u stay there?
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Hahahaha. 6/5 +1 bonus point for being an idiot.
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On October 08 2008 00:41 GGQ wrote:You must have taken the wrong stairs, I always take the stairs at Schmon Tower
Waiting for class to start right now.
What year are you?
I must've taken the emergency stairs, wow.
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I'm in second year English, just got home
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3259 Posts
LOL! This is so epic dude. XD awsome story.
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lol.
Yea thats really scary. Im afraid of speakers too theyre evil. There are sounds coming out of them!!!!!!!
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lol.. WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
reminds me of megaman X4
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this reminds me of half life lol
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lol
Does anyone play mgs1? Remember the point where you got chased up the stairs by genome soldiers and security cameras mounted with machine guns?
nvm, I should stop thinking about games.
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I thought it was funny, lol.
You broke the banner while hopping it and the alarms XD
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On October 08 2008 00:51 Salv wrote:
I must've taken the emergency stairs, wow.
LOL
This story was hilarious, I just showed two people in my office, we were all laughing lol. Funny thing is I would have done the exact same thing.
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I wonder if the security people were just fucking with you :D
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I'm quite sure it was a recording.
Yeah I broke the banner like a fucking tool, I still don't know how, I guess my agility was lacking.
LOL I think most people would have done the same (not using the emergency stairs like an idiot, but the reasoning) I ASSUMED I took the right stairs, and thus my reasoning to hopping (and breaking) the banner made sense... at least to me it did lol.
I was more embarrassed after in the elevator since it was close to full and I was at the front breathing heavily, poor people lol.
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Ahaha, I actually laughed out IRL reading this, 5/5!
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United States24756 Posts
Wow that would probably be an effective security measure for burglers lol.
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3259 Posts
On October 08 2008 01:04 dinmsab wrote:
lol.. WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
reminds me of megaman X4
LOL! YEAH!!
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LOL guess i wont be using the stairs in the tower salv =]
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lol funny story but wtf u are embarrassed by breathing heavily in the elevator???
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On October 08 2008 02:41 REDBLUEGREEN wrote:
lol funny story but wtf u are embarrassed by breathing heavily in the elevator???
Perhaps you don't understand the situation. I just booked it up six flights of stairs and I also shocked and surprised at what the fuck just happened. When I went in the elevator, it was almost full, everyone was quiet as hell and there I was panting and breathing really heavily lol. I found it embarrassing, yes.
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On October 08 2008 00:39 ilovezil wrote:
they caught you on camera - they're going to capture you then take you to the secret torturing facility where you'll be whipped and brutally beaten. Godspeed!
anal probing time.
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On October 08 2008 02:48 Raithed wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2008 00:39 ilovezil wrote:
they caught you on camera - they're going to capture you then take you to the secret torturing facility where you'll be whipped and brutally beaten. Godspeed! anal probing time.
oh noes.
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On October 08 2008 02:29 DragoonPK wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2008 01:04 dinmsab wrote:
lol.. WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
reminds me of megaman X4 LOL! YEAH!!
Except it's more Zero2 and X8 for me ><
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On October 08 2008 01:04 dinmsab wrote:
lol.. WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
reminds me of megaman X4
Haha i remember this before a boss would start it would flash the WARNING.
Nice story lol
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haha Salv u own XD RUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!!
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should've thrown a chaff grenade
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If you found that scary, you must have lived a really sheltered life.
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my heart rate increased a few bpm
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Update: I went back and checked; it was indeed the fire escape, I am fucking retarded lol. Not only that, but people must've thought:
"Where is that guy going.."
*twenty seconds later*
(faintly heard) Warning, Warning, Warning
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good life lesson, now i know what not to do.
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Didn't you almost get suspended for crotch thrusting during study hall?
Thought so.
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On October 08 2008 04:46 Flakes wrote:
should've thrown a chaff grenade
lolol
plus its hard to dodge the cameras line of sight without a minimap
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Thanks for posting this. I'll remember this blog next time I see a warning banner 
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Once I got up and heard a loud female voice shouting:
"INTRUDER DETECTED, PLEASE LEAVE THE PREMISES"
"INTRUDER DETECTED, PLEASE LEAVE THE PREMISES"
"INTRUDER DETECTED, PLEASE LEAVE THE PREMISES"
"INTRUDER DETECTED, PLEASE LEAVE THE PREMISES"
Turns out the stupid mothernator had forgotten I was in the house and turned the house alarm on.
Well at least it was moderately polite.
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i was reminded of those cameras on 007 goldeneye that would trip when you walked by and out of nowhere a shitload of bad guys dressed in black would come with machine guns.
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Lololol ur not ninja enuf!
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On October 08 2008 08:21 VIB wrote:Thanks for posting this. I'll remember this blog next time I see a warning banner
Warning banners: They fuck you up.
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LOL reminds me of back when I was in 8th grade...
I was part of the national Mathcounts team for New Jersey and we went to Detroit for the competition. There, we stayed at a hotel along with all the other state teams. One day, we are upstairs at the floor that our rooms were in (10th or something like that) and we (the kids) decide it would be a good idea to race down the stairs to the 1st floor. The coach and chaperone decided to just let us be and took the elevator.
So there we went, racing down the stairs. Somehow at some point I ended up far behind everyone else. I don't know why- maybe I was slow or maybe something held me up or something. But it got to the point where I couldn't see the other three kids anymore but I kept on racing down. Eventually I couldn't even hear them anymore but nothing really raised my suspicion, just I was a bit pressured that I was last place. I kept on going until suddenly on 4th floor landing I saw a door in front of me. There was another door beside me that would lead me to the 4th floor but beyond this door in front of me I could see through the window that there were more stairs downwards. Hmm... I don't want to go to the 4th floor... I want to go to the 1st floor... So I opened the door and kept on going down the stairs.
At this point, I started getting a little bit unsettled. There were no signs at all of the other kids and this area of the stairs looked more dusty and less traversed than the previous set. As I got down to the 3rd floor, I noticed one thing... there wasn't any door leading out to the floor! WTF! I panicked and instantly rushed back up to the door I had just went through on the 4th floor. It was locked. OMG!!! At this point I am panicking like hell. Keep in mind that I am a nerdy, socially inept young adolescent boy at this time and I suddenly realized that I was all alone. It was quite obvious that my teammates did not travel down this path and instead exitted out at the 4th floor. I pulled and tugged at the door handle but it wouldn't budge. Scared out of my mind, I decide the only thing to do is to keep going down to the 1st floor, where I KNEW there would be an exit. So downwards I traveled, moving very fast, until all of a sudden, where the 1st floor should be, bam. I see another door that leads into another mysterious hallway. This hallway by no means at all looked like the actual hotel either. My heart is pumping like crazy now and I quickly pull out my cell phone to try and call my coach. Oh no! I had no service down here! Now I was really frightened.
Despite being scared to death, I opened this next door and went through. As the door closed behind me, I heard a resounding clunk. Yep... the door locked behind me too... Honestly at this point a million different possibilities are running through my head. I might have discovered some deep labyrinth where I would be lost for all of eternity, or I might be trespassing on the grounds of some secret order. Everything felt so surreal at that moment and the walls seemed to imprison me in this seemingly underground dungeon. Filled with terror, I cautiously tread forward down the corridor until I came to another door at its end. This door was different. It was looming and black, with an electronic security lock on it. Here it is, I thought. On the other side of this door is the mad scientist waiting patiently for another boy to wander into his hidden laboratory to dissect his brains. Surely this is the end...
Too terrified to keep on going forward, I just sat down by the door. I must've been sitting down in that spot for at least 5 minutes as so many thoughts ran through my head. I thought of what was in store for me. I thought of my foolishness in ever agreeing to do this race and going through that 4th floor door. I even started tearing up as I thought what my parents and everybody back at home would think when they heard that I just disappeared. Without a trace. Last seen going down the stairs in a Detroit Hilton hotel.
Eventually I pick myself up and decide to go through the door. This is it, I thought... I opened the door and lo and behold, I was in some dimly lit place with tons of boxes and machines lying around. Odd... wait wtf is that a garage-like opening into a street? All of a sudden, a black guy wearing a polo comes into view whistling and carrying a large cardboard box. We both notice each other and freeze on the spot. No doubt both of us were the last things we expected to see down here. I was still under the mentality that this was some secret facility and to this guy, a little asian boy had just magically appeared out of nowhere, gawking at him.
After a few seconds I managed to open my mouth and stammer out, "H-h-hi... do you know where the 1st floor is...?"
The guy muttered, "Yeah sure" and pointed to me the door he just came out of. Nodding nervously, I followed him through the door. The first thing I noticed was the plush red carpet. Then I recognized the familiar high ceiling. Omg this was the first floor! I shyly mumbled my thanks to the employee and dazedly wandered back into civilization.
In the distance, I saw my team. The coach looked very distressed and was talking with what looked like a security guy, while my teammates just looked dumbfounded. In perhaps the most awkward fashion ever, I walked right up to my coach. She didn't even notice me as she was still talking to the security guard. I tapped her on the arm and muttered, "Hi Mrs. ___" You should've seen the look on her face. Or rather, the five different looks on her face that all struggled with each other in that one second.
We didn't get to have any more fun the rest of the trip.
I'm probably pretty bad at storytelling but I am dead tired right now and this story ended up taking a lot longer than I intended lol.
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The qualifier "of my adult life" seems to indicate that there was a scarier moment sometime in your life. Care to share?
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United States17042 Posts
On October 08 2008 11:53 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2008 08:21 VIB wrote:Thanks for posting this. I'll remember this blog next time I see a warning banner Warning banners: They fuck you up.
Warning banners: are there for a reason xD
more to the point, I wonder what would have happened if you were found in there >.>
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
Lmao OP and Lane's stories were epic. Especially the part where you discovered the secret labyrinth. hahaha
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United Arab Emirates38 Posts
wtf, that sounds fake. If its not, who the fuck makes an alarm say how many people are in the stairwell. Some kind of prank?
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You mean the generalization "There is a person in the stairwell", that I've heard at my own campus before? 'A person' is just used as a term to say "There's some mofos in the stairwell. I don't know how fuckin' many, but theys be there" in a much more professional manner.
Salv, this is funny as hell. I'm dying right now, because this is quite the Atrioc-like move. You must hate yourself hardcore for that right now.
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EPT
