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A Short Story

Blogs > Sp1ralArch1tect
Post a Reply
SpiralArchitect
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States2116 Posts
August 02 2008 20:14 GMT
#1
by Jon "Sp1ralArch1tect" Benn

Harley looked up into the sun as if wondering when it would give up its eternal stare. The heat really got to him on days like this, when the stress was high and the stakes higher. Sitting in front of the school he watched his peers lazily pass by, slowly walking to their first classes dreading the teachers call. Each one had a story and Harley liked to guess what each one was, but not today. Today Harley Quinton had much bigger things to worry about...

"...this is the last time I let you do this!", Harleys mother awoke him with a start. Immediately assuming a defensive position to fend off her blows he peered from his shell to find his Mother no where to be seen, but everywhere to be heard."This time you have gone too far Harley! You put our son in danger and you put me in danger too!"

Clearly she was talking to Harleys dad Harley Sr., but what could be the subject of such heated conversation. Harleys dad was a hard working man with little tendency towards the dangerous side, working construction since he was 19 Harley Sr. valued the fact that he worked for every penny in his pocket. So the possibilities of what they could be arguing about were anything but obvious to Harley, especially since somehow their arguement put him in danger.

Harley proceeded to do what he did anytime his parents would yell, or worry over financial matters miles above his head. As he cracked the plastic shell to his favorite album and carefully took out the precious contents inside, he already felt the relief that they would provide. His only solace was in his music Hip Hop to be exact, since his cousin had introduced him to the genre with GrandMaster Flash in the mid 80s the fire had burned inside him.

The beauty of the far side filled his ears and swept away the tension that he felt between his mother and father, leaving only the calm feeling that went along with Hip Hop. Something was different about the way he felt when he had hip hop blasting in his ear, his movements, his thoughts all became sharper and more vivid to him. The only time he really felt alive was when he was the most alone, no discernable contact with the world but feeling more connected to it than ever.

------------

After Harley inhaled a quick breakfast he took off right for the bus to avoid any further occurence of that feeling his parents fighting gave him. At the stop the same group of guys hung out smoking ciggarettes, he saw them everyday and respected them if for nothing else for their respect for him. The "bullies" if you could call them that were well known for stealing and extorting from their peers, but for some reason they left Harley to his own devices. What could be construed as a compliment felt like an insult to Harley, was he not even worth their time?

The leather felt familiar as Harley settled into his residence on the bus, in his senior year he was somewhat set in his ways when it came to a few things. Riding the bus was one of those particular events, he always took the back left corner seat which was furthest from not only the bus driver but from everyone. Nobody knew Harley really since he kept to himself in that corner, but they knew where Harley came from and for most of the kids that was enough...

"Whos the loner at the back of the bus?", a voice from the middle section cut the air clear as a bell. Harley heard him loud and clear, but kept his eyes shut and simply covered his ears.

"Hey man keep it down!", a hurried whisper. "That is Harley Quinton, nobody really knows him since he is really quite and he is from the south side Tracks, thats a tough neighborhood." That same spiel had been repeated hundreds of times to Harleys face and behind his back, nothing he was not used to.

Harley peered down the aisle not hearing what the second student had said, but he knew what had been spoken. The first kid looked back at him with a menacing glare, clearly unimpressed by his SST status which intimidated all the other kids. Harley returned to his eyelids and a beat to relax his head, feeling much better he began to enjoy the view out the window. All the while keeping a half cocked eye on the kid in the middle section, and then to Harleys amazement he made his way back to his corner.

"Who do you think you are?", a plain question.

"What?", Harley was somewhat bewildered by the question. He thought while the time he bought with the "What?" expired.

"I said Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

"Uh.. nobody man dont worry about me." Trying to avoid trouble Harley simply played it passively hoping to resolve this with his teeth. "I really dont want a problem bro, lets just let this go."

"Fuck you." Without warning the kid cocked back with a lighter in his hand and popped Harley right in the mouth. Blood shot out of the small open corner of Harleys mouth like a water out of a fire hose drenching the window next to him. His attacker pulled back to put another one sqaure across and finish the job only to find his arm held back by the guys who smoked at the bus stop.

"Wrong place. Wrong Person." With that the oldest of the Smokers let go of the assailants arm and walked back to his seat. An order had been issued and even the rebelious offender could feel it, this was not a time to fool around. He went right back to his seat without word or so much as a sound, thoroughly convinced that he was not done with the odd kid in the corner.

Harley spit one of his teeth out, along with another impressive amount of blood which made the window even worse. Picking up the tooth he moved over to the next aisle so he would not be questioned about the blood, the bus driver was a sadistic old man who did not care what happened in the bus as long as he got his paycheck on every Friday. Harley knew he should be angry or at least afraid of his attacker, but strangley he felt more relieved than he ever had amongst his peers. Finally someone found him worth the time of day, even if it was only to prove their dominance.

-------
Bus 115 arrived before any other which also meant its pick up time was earlier than most, this just so happened to be the bus that Harley Quinton rode. With a full thirty minutes before school actually began he had quite a bit of time to laze about and ponder his thoughts. Today he simply sat on the grass spitting out blood and wondering what could his parents possibly be arguing about. An uneasy feeling spread all through his body and Harley felt like he could just lay on the grass for the rest of his life and nothing would matter.

Harley cracked into his backpack to get his headphones out, he put in his favorite De La Soul album. He pushed play expecting some serious funk to hit but found that during the fight his assailant had completely demolished his CD player. Just one more strike against him today, the most hurtful by far since the last thing he wanted was to go without his beautiful retreat. Harley was so consumed in himself that he probably did not notice the kid from the bus walk by, all the while intensley burning a hole in Harley with his gaze.

The bell rang but hardly registered to most of the students, but somehow most of them managed to file into thier seats to begin the day. The teachers scolded those who were late on their work in ritual fashion, just one thing to get out of the way before 4:00 when they could leave. The large majority of the budding intellects (including Harley) were from inner city "projects" so these rituals proved to consume quite a bit of time when at least half the class was failing. Harley landed in the middle as always, with always average grades he always passed but never to impress.

"Welcome today ladies and gentleman, how are we today?" Harleys
first class was History with Mr. Wall which he actually enjoyed, more for the teacher than the content. Mr Wall was a really flamboyant guy, it seemed that he got weirder and weirder as every day passed. Maybe compared to a mid-west school teacher Mr. Wall would not be as odd, but when his peers were mostly apathetic and hardly motivated such an energetic guy seemed like a breath of fresh air. So Harley, the quite and reserved individual, would always reply loudly to his morning query.

"Fucking Great!" Harley added the expletive merely to get a rise out of his classmates, but he knew it would not be that effective with Mr. Wall.

"Great effort, bad use of language Mr. Quinton. Now lets move on." Like a slap in the face Mr. Wall threw it back at Harley, but he had expecte this. He knew only a few of his mates would laugh since it was him, but what he really wanted was to test him. The year was young and knowing ones teachers was rather important to survive in this school.

"Today we will talk about Honor my children, please turn your text books to page 1." The rustling of paper nearly drowned out the little girls question, but Mr. Wall (and everyone for that matter) knew it was coming.

"Um.." hesistant at first, "Excuse me Mr. Wall but um, what does Honor have to do with History?" Lucy was a small girl who was actually advanced a grade or two somewhere along the line, nobody knew if it was possible she was more uknown than Harley. She was also known for being rather inquisitive on everything that Mr. Wall said, and on a day like today with a topic like this the question did not even need to be heard.

"My dear do you really think that Honor has nothing to do with history?" as usual Mr. Wall adressed her very politely. "You see history is really the creation of the present my men who live in it. So when you read in your text books about great periods in time why do you think that they were so well known?"

"Um..." somewhat puzzled Lucy bit her fingernails to buy her some time infront of Mr. Wall."I think that it was because of the people who lived in that time?"

"That is partially correct, but what you are forgetting my little flower is that qualities of those men made them great." Lucy was still confused and Mr. Wall could tell without asking. "Lets use an example Lucy, pick one of the people in the class for me. Do not worry about any restrictions just pick one person and point them out to me."

Immediately Lucys nimble fingers rose up to point into the face of a boy sitting in the back left corner of the class quietly reading. He did not even notice her digit highlighting him to the rest of the class and the Teacher. Off in his own world thinking of something happening in a far off place, with not a care in the school. But when Mr. Walls kind yet booming voice reaches his ears with his name he immediately stood.

"Mr. Quiton! Come on down son its time to take a spin!" Slightly confused and even more bewildered Harley stood and made his way to the front of the class where Mr. Walls impenetrable grasp awaited his shoulder. "Hurry Hurry Mr Quinton this is not an all day class and we have much to discuss!"

Practically under the control of Mr. Wall when under his strong grasp Harley had little choice but to stand at attention and await his fate. The students eyes seemed to bore holes in the far corner of the room leaving Harley alone to bare his cross. Like usual they chose to ignore him so they could avoid the embarassment he could be about to face, Mr. Wall was known for using students as examples though he had never called on Harley before. So standing there like that he felt as if his time had finally come, he would have to face the music at last.

"Now Lucy I have a rather simple question for you which I would like you to answer for me in complete truth ok?" Mr. Wall began lightly but Harley assumed things would get worse as the discussion went on.

"Ok I will do my best Mr. Wall." Lucys head hung with a bit of red showing on her cheeks, obviously embarassed for both Harleys situation and herself incase she answered wrong. But there was no backing out now she had sert this in motion and Mr. Wall was going to continue it.

"Lucy I am going to assume you know who Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is. I would like for you to tell me the difference between Mr. Quinton and Mr. King, but I want you to limit your answer to their physical and mental limits." Harley was even more scared now, being compared to such a great man could only mean great tear down when this was over. "But remember do not judge them on their acheivements, just pretend that both of them are newborn babies lying in front of you and tell me is one better than the other?"

"Um... Let me think for a moment."Lucy really looked confused now, she hardly understood where Mr. Wall was going with this line of questioning and much less realized where it was going to end. "Well Dr. King was a much bigger man physically, and I guess he was smarter too since he was a doctor. Other than that I do not really know."

"Good attempt Lucy but unfortunately you and most likely your peers have missed the point of this excercise. You see the major difference between these two human beings is not so obvious to most of us, its actually quite hard to notice." Lucy and Harley both looked up at Mr. Wall in confusion, the rest of the class sat slumped in their seats and stared into the same corner. "Dr. King is only bigger because he was older in the images you see, and he was only smarter because he has been to the schools Mr. Quinton has the same opportunity to attend.So give it one more go and then I will let you out of the dog house on this one little child."

"Ok... Well I guess that uh... hmmm maybe Dr. King was... I am sorry Mr. Wall I don't know!" Lucys head hung even further and the redness spread as she teeterd on the edge of tears. Now truly broken down in her own eyes she felt that the rest of her classmates surely must be staring right at her, when in reality they continued their blank stare into the corner.

"That is just fine Lucy don't worry, some of the most brilliant men on Earth would overlook the answer." Lucy raised her head just enough so her eyes could become level with Mr. Walls, peering into his gaze she felt nothing but love for some reason. "Do you want to know the answer my child?" She nodded her head fervently, trying to make up for her previous smudge on the board.

"The answer is nothing." Mr. Wall finally took his tremendous stare away from the little girl and swept around the class, without a sound every student looked up into his eyes. "Mr. Quinton has everything that Dr. King had when he was born, in fact Mr. Quinton has more. What will make the difference in their lives is how they lived or live them, if Mr. Quinton has enough Honor and dedication he can easily become a greater man that Dr. King. All he has to do is try, you may now return to your seat Mr. Quinton thank you."

Harley nearly collapsed in his seat, he felt as if hundreds of people were sitting on his chest and it made it hard to breath. As the discussion continued one sidedly in class he just put his head down and tried to collect his scattered thoughts from their various locations. Why had he been chosen? Why would Mr. Wall compare him to Dr. King and then instead of tearin him down build him up? Nobody had ever tried to that for Harley before and as his eyelids grew heavier so did his thoughts about Mr. Wall....

-End Part 1-

[image loading]

Poll: Good Story? Bad Story? Feedback = Nice :D
(Vote): Good Story, rocked my socks.
(Vote): Bad Story, my socks are unrocked.

Yo thanks for reading this far if you did, I know its kinda a wall of text. Any feedback would be nice as I plan to continue to write this in a episodal fashion and would love to shape it with your opinions in mind. Thanks :D


TeamLiquids #1 illiterate writer, writin dem wordz is de hardz.
thedeadhaji *
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
39489 Posts
August 02 2008 20:33 GMT
#2
So I only skimmed bits and pieces of it, mainly focusing on your writing style and syntax rather than the content of the prose. I got the impression that your sentences are too "straight"? "bland"? They get the information across, sure, but they dont captivate the reader in a way that's particularly interesting or imaginitive. Literary devices are literary devices for a reason i guess :O:O
XCetron
Profile Joined November 2006
5226 Posts
August 02 2008 23:03 GMT
#3
ok story.
crabapple
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States397 Posts
August 03 2008 05:34 GMT
#4
sorry, i have ADD, i'm pharm-ed up, watch 34 hours of TV a day, get D+'s at school, so i cannot read it.
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
August 03 2008 07:29 GMT
#5
ah im sorry im a bit tired, i will edit my post when i read it tomorrow
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
Ecael
Profile Joined February 2008
United States6703 Posts
August 03 2008 07:49 GMT
#6
I only skimmed it briefly, bit on the tired side at the moment. However, I noticed an alarming amount of problems with punctuation. I understand that you might be trying to convey the speech pattern and personality of the characters when they are said, but ultimately it made this piece quite hard to read. Typos litter throughout the story, and there are mysterious cases of upper cases. It is easier to designate Honor as "honor", for example, though in that particular case honor was barely elaborated upon as to allow it any particular properties to be focused on thus. Also, like Haji said, the sentences were on the bland side.

These are just general responses, I'll try to give more detailed ones when I am awake enough to go through this with a bit more care.
XuoriG
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada165 Posts
August 03 2008 08:02 GMT
#7
i read through all of it, i liked it, not my kind of story but well written goodjob
SpiralArchitect
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States2116 Posts
August 03 2008 23:23 GMT
#8
On August 03 2008 16:49 Ecael wrote:
I only skimmed it briefly, bit on the tired side at the moment. However, I noticed an alarming amount of problems with punctuation. I understand that you might be trying to convey the speech pattern and personality of the characters when they are said, but ultimately it made this piece quite hard to read. Typos litter throughout the story, and there are mysterious cases of upper cases. It is easier to designate Honor as "honor", for example, though in that particular case honor was barely elaborated upon as to allow it any particular properties to be focused on thus. Also, like Haji said, the sentences were on the bland side.

These are just general responses, I'll try to give more detailed ones when I am awake enough to go through this with a bit more care.


Yeah this is a product of my heavy drug and alchohol use during High School when I should have been learning haha. I am trying to work on my grammar but it is a slow process, thanks to everyone who left feedback I am starting on the second edition right now.
TeamLiquids #1 illiterate writer, writin dem wordz is de hardz.
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