EPT
Thought I would keep you all updated because I played some actual Starcraft today! My spectacular video game skills landed me a TvP LAN record of <drum roll> 1-5. Here's a quick summery:
Game One, Python: One Factory fast expand into some drops and a zealot bombed push
Game Two, Blue Storm: Proxy Zealot rush on my high ground becuase the probe doesn't go that way (and why would it? To check for proxy i guess)
Game Three, Python: Forfeit on a Barracks-exploding miss-click when i was trying to switch out a damaged probe.
Game Four, Python: One Factory Double fast expand into a close saved mineral only and fantastic siege tank plus com-sat outside his Natural featuring anti zealot bombing micro FTW!
Game Five: massive supply fuck up into TRIPLE fast expand featuring some great vulture micro and me getting raped by arbiter/carrier combo.
And what is the lesson that I learned today? All those snobs in the strategy forum talking about playing real games were actually right. My timing is simply awful. Hats of to you assholes. And I mean that with love.
Which brings me to my story of the day to keep you all entertained. I realize that I am the perfect candidate for a pro ESRB spokesperson. My one reoccuring nightmare? Fighting the shark thing from Half-Life. I can't keep both hands on the keyboard while I fight one. And this one time the game glitched and it could FUCKING FLY. No joke. I even have trouble convincing myself to swim in lakes. So here is a big list of all the aliens and demons and creatures that still scare the crap out of me:
1)Spiders in Diablo: I can't keep my legs under my desk when i play that game becuase I'm worried Andariel is going to sick spiders on me.
2) Antilions in HL2: These are just Diablo spiders on crack that attack Go-Karts. Hey Valve? How the fuck am I supposed to flip a car back up with a fucking GRAVITY GUN?
3) Pentagrams: Oh shit pentagram. Better turn around before you get eaten one demon at a time. And i mean one because Doom III was so memory intensive that they could only sick one baddie on you at a time.
4) Skulls for levels: Fuck you. I'm trying to knit some shirts and you keep reaming all of the shop keapers. Go fight... <segway>
5) Illiden the Betrayer: Or at least his Avatar in all those UMS levels in Warcraft Three. Oh don't even bother playing footmen frenzy. All of his imolations just stack so your shit can't do shit. no you dont have any micro thats why you play footies (and probably Protoss)
Check Back Soon
-Clark
PS: Mario64 gave me nightmares when I was five. God damn Bowser mocking me for loosing a guy....
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