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Active: 649 users

Alcohol and me.

Blogs > Tadzio00
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Tadzio
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
3340 Posts
February 10 2008 07:09 GMT
#1
Yes, at this very moment, I am drunk.

I love alcohol 99% of the time. There are perhaps 3 occasions that I've regretted drinking. 2 of them involve blackouts and reports/splintered and fading memories of unprotected sex. The third involves adding acetaminophen into the mix and suffering a panic attack as a result (worrying about sudden liver failure followed shortly by death). I'm sure I've gotten drunk at least 300 times, so this is a good ratio for me. If you enjoy something 99% of the time, you're gonna do it as often as it's responsible to pursue it. Hell, I don't think I have 99% enjoyment ratio with any other activity I've attempted, including sex.

Alcohol numbs pain, removes social inhibitions I've developed, makes it easier for me to go to sleep (insomnia sucks), and in general makes me a happy person. And it doesn't hurt that hangovers are rare for me, and vomiting is nearly unheard of.

Alcohol makes me the type of person I would've been had I not experienced the trauma and resultant emotional disorders I have. Fuck, I'm actually more articulate when I'm drunk than when I'm not! Tell me what the hell that means.... I think it means I have mental blocks caused by irrational, subconscious fears and learned behaviors.

I get the distinct impression that alcohol is supposed to be something you're meant to avoid. A vice that should cause you enormous grief and embarrassment. When I tell people I'm drinking alone, they seem to express disappointment and pity. Fuckers, pity me when I'm not drunk, because that's when I'm miserable; that's when I'm petrified by irrational fears that prevent me from pursuing a social life, expressing ambition, taking care of my physical health, or leaving the fucking house.

Am I an alcoholic? I know for a fact I'm not physically addicted. But what about emotional dependence? Maybe.

Dr. Drew, the celebrity addiction specialist, defines the moment of addiction as that point where use or abuse of a substance begins to negatively affect your life and the lives of those around you. If this is a good working-definition, sobriety is my addiction, and alcohol is my naltrexone.

Anywho... I feel good right now. Have a good day, person what is reading this.

***
fusionsdf
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
Canada15390 Posts
February 10 2008 07:27 GMT
#2
if your using alcohol to dodge real life, then yes, you have a problem
SKT_Best: "I actually chose Protoss because it was so hard for me to defeat Protoss as a Terran. When I first started Brood War, my main race was Terran."
Tadzio
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
3340 Posts
February 10 2008 07:29 GMT
#3
You missed the point. I dodge real life when I'm sober. When I'm drunk, I embrace it.
LumberJack
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States3355 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-02-10 07:37:39
February 10 2008 07:33 GMT
#4
But you cant ever have a career, family, life? It will consume you, and cause you to die early. They dont give new livers to alcoholics oO

edit: changed die young to die early, you're almost 30 . Oh well, on that note, since you're 1/2 through life at 28~, Have you accomplished all that you wanted to do? Since your consuming so much alcohol, you can easily say you're at 1/2 or over. Have you been able to have children and show them everything youve wanted to show them? Had a wife and a home? What about all the cars and toys you've wanted to have, or hobbies like making furniture or things with your hands? I dunno, i just cant imagine not having all of that... I know there was a point in my life when i didnt, but now, I know i couldnt...
Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire.
Tadzio
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
3340 Posts
February 10 2008 07:44 GMT
#5
Well, I'm already 29 so if I do die from it, I won't be too young. I have a meager career (though I'm more ambitious about pursuing passions when I'm drunk), don't want a family, and my life (you mean social life?) only seems to progress when I'm drunk... soooo....

I'm considering drinking more often. Upon reflection, the happiest years of my life were when I was in college, drinking ~ once every three days. After I got out of college I continued drinking on the weekends until the acetaminophen experience, and then I quit for about 2 years. The last month or so, however, I've been drinking about twice a week, and I have to admit to myself, I've been happier generally, which is what inspired this blog.

It does interest me that the immediate reaction from this community has been 2 attempts to convince me that conventional wisdom applies and I have a serious problem. I don't buy it, but it's interesting.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32051 Posts
February 10 2008 08:53 GMT
#6
tldr

drinking rocks

PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
SchOOl_VicTIm
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Greece2394 Posts
February 10 2008 08:59 GMT
#7
drinking with no vomit or even hangover???

wow this is insane not sure if it's good or bad but if it works for you thn I seriously can't find a good reason for you to make you stop it. gl
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
February 10 2008 11:31 GMT
#8
wtf is TLDR i see it everywhere
Hates Fun🤔
diehilde1
Profile Joined September 2006
Germany522 Posts
February 10 2008 11:32 GMT
#9
2 times a week isnt much of a problem yet though... if u start drinking on a daily basis, thats where ur live will go downward rapidly. ur problem isnt the drinking (yet), its ur psychic problems. If you feel worse when ur sober it means u got some pretty serious problems going on. If u feel better on drugs it will only be a matter of time until ur completely addicted. Go get a therapy and eventually you won't feel worse when ur sober than when ur drunk.
merz
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Sweden2760 Posts
February 10 2008 11:33 GMT
#10
It's still a pretty fucked up situation if you need alcohol to embrace what life offers.

Winners never quit, quitters never win.
Tadzio
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
3340 Posts
February 10 2008 11:35 GMT
#11
Too
Long
Didn't
Read.

Its a fast way to say you don't give a fuck about the person posting or the subtleties of his/her points, but you read the title and think you have an opinion anyway.
zatic
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Zurich15325 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-02-10 11:51:07
February 10 2008 11:49 GMT
#12
Pursuing a career and heavy drinking is absolutely possible. Heck, statistically, your career chances are lower if you don't drink.

I think the question here is what you define as being drunk? Do you drink 2 or 3 times a week until you pass out? Or just moderately until you get that good feeling you describe?

I myself drink virtually daily. But I limit this to 2 or 3 glasses of Scotch at night (total cliche, I know) with heavy drinking on weekends. I don't see how that affects my (so far very successful) career in any way. And I know a lot of young single professionals like me. And the ones who don't drink usually are the insecure, unhappy or just plain weird ones.

Oh, and some people just don't throw up that easily. And hangovers are mostly manageable with the right diet.

Not to say I didn't regret drinking a lot of times. I lost a tooth crashing my bike when I was totally hammered. Do not drink and drive kids, seriously.
ModeratorI know Teamliquid is known as a massive building
Tadzio
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
3340 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-02-10 12:08:06
February 10 2008 12:03 GMT
#13
I don't plan on drinking everyday. I tried it once for about a week back in college and then I did experience some really bad hangovers, which I didn't enjoy. Drinking nightly isn't something I crave.

Everyone that drinks/does drugs, does it to feel better. People might say their sober life is fine, but there'd be no impetus to spend money on substances that change your state of mind if it didn't make things better or more interesting. Of course addicted people will on occasion damage their life to continue their use of a substance, but as yet that doesn't apply to me.

I used to go to a therapist. He helped me a little bit, but after a while he gave up on unassisted therapy and proscribed me Paxil, a mildly addictive substance that's classified as an anti-depressant. I took it daily for six months, the effects were minor, it changed my personality a bit, making me more social, but the withdrawal symptoms sucked ass when I decided to stop taking it and it killed my sex drive. The only advantage it had over alcohol is that I could work/drive while using it. In all other ways, alcohol is better, and I can't use both (paxil can cause serious health problems when mixed with alcohol).

I know its technically more addictive, but I really don't see alcohol as any more dangerous than marijuana. And it's a lot less likely I'll lose my job because I use it.

On February 10 2008 20:49 zatic wrote:
I think the question here is what you define as being drunk? Do you drink 2 or 3 times a week until you pass out? Or just moderately until you get that good feeling you describe?


I only drink 'til I pass out if I'm at a friend's house, there's a party, and they don't mind that I'm crashing there. Otherwise I drink until I feel good, then I switch to water and rehydrate. This is especially true when I do solitary drinking. There's no reason to overdo it if you're alone.
axel
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
France385 Posts
February 10 2008 12:23 GMT
#14

In my opinion you are taking the great road of alcoholism, read some articles about aloholics, they all talk about the fact they began to drink every week then twice then it really FASTLY became uncontrolable. Usually it happens when they were in your situtation (like being drunk twice a week) and a big problem happened in their life which made em drink a lot mor.
If u use to drink alone even once a week u should really consider this as a big problem. And btw if u feel always happier when drunk then it reveals a deeper problem, believe me.
And also if u think alcohol is not dangerous for your health i guarentee u it is a LOT more thanu imagine , i know many doctors and they all said me alcohol damages are invisible during a long time but they are often huge , even for your people.

JensOfSweden
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Cameroon1767 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-02-10 12:38:10
February 10 2008 12:35 GMT
#15
You have to transform and rise from the ashes like the phoenix

Try turning your life upside down. Like if you just sit at home all day and drink, go to the gym and start eating healthy and ditch the alcohol

Seriously though, I know how hard it can be to feel better but the best thing you can do is always to do the stuff that scares you the most.
Otherwise you are just living in a mental cage and things will get worse


Btw, Paxil or any other anti-depressant doesn't cause any health problems with alcohol.
The reason doctors say that you should try to avoid drinking alcohol when being on medication is that it's not good to drink alcohol while being depressed

I've drank so much alcohol while being on anti-depressants and I've almost never got any weird effects from it
<3 Nada [On and off TL.net since 2002
diehilde1
Profile Joined September 2006
Germany522 Posts
February 10 2008 13:47 GMT
#16
On February 10 2008 21:03 Tadzio00 wrote:
I don't plan on drinking everyday. I tried it once for about a week back in college and then I did experience some really bad hangovers, which I didn't enjoy. Drinking nightly isn't something I crave.

Everyone that drinks/does drugs, does it to feel better. People might say their sober life is fine, but there'd be no impetus to spend money on substances that change your state of mind if it didn't make things better or more interesting. Of course addicted people will on occasion damage their life to continue their use of a substance, but as yet that doesn't apply to me.

I used to go to a therapist. He helped me a little bit, but after a while he gave up on unassisted therapy and proscribed me Paxil, a mildly addictive substance that's classified as an anti-depressant. I took it daily for six months, the effects were minor, it changed my personality a bit, making me more social, but the withdrawal symptoms sucked ass when I decided to stop taking it and it killed my sex drive. The only advantage it had over alcohol is that I could work/drive while using it. In all other ways, alcohol is better, and I can't use both (paxil can cause serious health problems when mixed with alcohol).

I know its technically more addictive, but I really don't see alcohol as any more dangerous than marijuana. And it's a lot less likely I'll lose my job because I use it.

Show nested quote +
On February 10 2008 20:49 zatic wrote:
I think the question here is what you define as being drunk? Do you drink 2 or 3 times a week until you pass out? Or just moderately until you get that good feeling you describe?


I only drink 'til I pass out if I'm at a friend's house, there's a party, and they don't mind that I'm crashing there. Otherwise I drink until I feel good, then I switch to water and rehydrate. This is especially true when I do solitary drinking. There's no reason to overdo it if you're alone.

trust me i know alcoholics and i know daily tokers, alcohol IS by far more destructive to you if ur addicted
fanatacist
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
10319 Posts
February 10 2008 15:00 GMT
#17
Don't give into it... I drink everyday and smoke weed everyday, because nothing else brings me happiness anymore, I can only enjoy life when I'm in an altered state of mind, I hate everything when I'm sober, and I'm only 18. Don't be like me.
Peace~
TheFoReveRwaR
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States10657 Posts
February 10 2008 15:13 GMT
#18
On February 10 2008 16:33 LumberJack wrote:
But you cant ever have a career, family, life? It will consume you, and cause you to die early. They dont give new livers to alcoholics oO

edit: changed die young to die early, you're almost 30 . Oh well, on that note, since you're 1/2 through life at 28~, Have you accomplished all that you wanted to do? Since your consuming so much alcohol, you can easily say you're at 1/2 or over. Have you been able to have children and show them everything youve wanted to show them? Had a wife and a home? What about all the cars and toys you've wanted to have, or hobbies like making furniture or things with your hands? I dunno, i just cant imagine not having all of that... I know there was a point in my life when i didnt, but now, I know i couldnt...

You're such a fucking tool. Seriously.
Being healthy, it has been said, really consists of having the same disease as everybody else.
TheFoReveRwaR
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States10657 Posts
February 10 2008 15:17 GMT
#19
And tad. You're not an alcoholic. Alcoholics can't quit drinking for 2 years no matter how many panic attacks you have. However you are replacing a void in your life with alcohol. Because hey, it makes you feel good and helps you relax. Which is good. The thing is though, its like a crutch. Ideally you want to be able to feel good and relax WITHOUT alcohol. Its not a big deal like some of the people in this thread are making it out to be, but it is something to keep an eye on.
Being healthy, it has been said, really consists of having the same disease as everybody else.
TheFoReveRwaR
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States10657 Posts
February 10 2008 15:18 GMT
#20
On February 11 2008 00:00 fanatacist wrote:
Don't give into it... I drink everyday and smoke weed everyday, because nothing else brings me happiness anymore, I can only enjoy life when I'm in an altered state of mind, I hate everything when I'm sober, and I'm only 18. Don't be like me.

You most likely suffer from a lack of seratonin. Consider a SRI. Zoloft is one of them.
Being healthy, it has been said, really consists of having the same disease as everybody else.
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