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You're Hurting The Children

Blogs > Flaccid
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Flaccid
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
8925 Posts
August 22 2007 15:33 GMT
#1
TL.net is an interesting place. If you are a fan of BroodWar and even a tiny bit into professional gaming, then there's no better resource out there in the English world. I once made the comparison that if TL.net is the New York Times of BroodWar, than GG.net is US Magazine - a gossip rag that girls like to read for the pretty pictures.

But underneath the shiney new features and boat loads of ammo for any nerd's spank bank, it's still an internet message board. And as such, it's still privy to all sorts of annoyances that plague the medium. Don't get me wrong - it's not TL.net's fault. You can't blame TL.net for this anymore than you can blame a good magazine for its need to carry too much advertising. It's just a victim of its genre.

But if anyone can do better, surely you guys can.

Below are a few things that I know are ruining my TL.net experience. I know you probably don't care, and likely you don't care for the same reasons that I do - my TL.net experience is really the only one I'm concerned with, so I don't blame you if you have no vested interest in anything but your own enjoyment. Even if said enjoyment makes you a dick.

Cut the elitism and clique-y-ness: A fascinating thing happens when nerds create groups with other nerds - they start thinking they are cool. I suppose 'cool' is a relative concept but it's frustrating to see nerds emulate the behavior that they hated the jocks for in school. It's as though the only way to offset complete social ineptitude is to think it's because you're better than everyone else.

More often than not, new posters are treated like garbage here. This would be fine if they were all garbage posters (hell, most probably are), but there exists no such group you can toss all of the new guys in. But hey, this doesn't stop nerds at TL.net from attacking the new guys with a "this is my house" kind of attitude. A recent example is this thread.

A new user calling himself 'Flooper' makes a harmless post and is ripped up by a couple of nerds - themselves overall poor posters as well. The only thing that may separate these people is that 'Flooper' has less than 30 posts. It's like being the new kid at school, only it's socially awkard and self-conscious nerds doing the attacking. The idea of someone insulting another poster in order to become 'one of the cool kids' at TL.net is an idiotic idea simply because there aren't any cool kids at TL.net. Like holy shit, this is a forum for a 10 year old videogame that most of us still play. Many in their spiderman underpants while eating cereal in the basement of their parents' house. Yeah, knock the new posters. Assholes.

But this is where the cliques come in. This happens in every message board - a group of posters emerges and this group carries on doing their thing while countless lackies try to emulate their behavior. And god forbid you aren't either a member of this clique or at the very least a pathetic lacky.

You can tell who's in the clique because they are the people making the same stupid jokes or same stupid threads that are getting a million views. You can tell the lackies because they are the guys giving the million views and the 'quote the post and lol' responses. It's a fact that the posts of these cliquey bastards will never be attacked - even if identical to a post a new user would be eaten alive for.

It's all these nerds sitting there thinking "I am a god on the internet" and these other nerds letting them get away with it. So cut it out, will ya?

I don't know if anyone is familiar with Flame Warriors, but it pretty much captures any forum personality you might run into. For better or for worse.

Here are a few personalities that TL.net has in abundance but could really do without:

Xenophobe:

Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards new forum arrivals as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. Xenophobe will mount a furious attack if a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions its prevailing opinions.

[image loading]


Acne:

Acne constantly whines about how, like... his life and everything really sucks and stuff. Usually a middle class teenager with an allowance, unlimited access to a computer and WAY too much time on his hands. Acne's vague existential arguments about the meaningless of life and emptiness of existence are culled from the lyrics of the 20 gigs of MP3s he has squirreled away on his hard drive.

[image loading]


Swarm:

A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with an offending message, the Swarm will erupt and fly at their victim from all directions. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless individual attacks can be easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must eventually yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. but even with protective clothing opposing Warriors should expect to suffer a few stings.

[image loading]


Howlers:

Howlers generally populate academic, technical or special interest forums. Newbies to such forums often wander in thinking they have found some devastating new argument or special insight on the forum topic on interest, but unless the forum has been recently formed an active discussion group will probably have heard and debated the argument at length. So instead of being welcomed into the bosom of the group the newcomer is forced to flee under a shower of invective.

[image loading]


Grunter:

Grunter always reponds to discussion forum messages with a single word or a short phrase, and he NEVER edits quoted material. Profundus Maximus, Philosopher, Tireless Rebutter, and other verbose Warriors find Grunter a particularly exasperating opponent because he will answer their lengthy pontifications with a simple "Yeah!". "Get a life.", "Whatever", "I agree." "Wrong.", etc. While Grunter is not a strong Warrior, he is very elusive and difficult to engage in direct battle, and only by his extended silence is there any indication that he has been vanquished.

[image loading]


Nitpick:

Nitpick compensates for his limited fighting ability by pouncing on points that are only marginally relevant to the discussion. For example, if his opponent in a sports forum conflict casually mentioned the Cubs' 4-2 victory in the 1908 World Series, Nitpick would quickly counterattack with something like, "4-2 !? Any moron knows the Cubs won the Series 4-1! Someone so ignorant about baseball history can't possibly know anything about salary caps!" Even if the minor point is conceded by his opponent Nitpick will return to it whenever the battle turns against him. Though weak, Nitpick is very tenacious and will never admit defeat.

[image loading]


Ego:

For Ego, the discussion forum is all about him, and he regards discussions that stray from that topic as trivial dalliances. Although tolerant of an occasional shift in focus, Ego grows increasingly restive when the forum's attention shifts away from his interests, and he will often provoke conflict to reestablish himself as the subject at hand. Ego is one the the fiercest of all the Warriors and will fight to the death when attacked.

[image loading]


Sycophant

Sycophant differs from Me-Too in that he is much more concerned with sucking up than he is with actually doing battle. Of course, he WILL engage in some light combat to impress Big Dog and other stronger Warriors, but he never exposes himself to unnecessary danger. Although combatants sometimes employ Sycophant to buttress an attack, his constantly shifting loyalties make him a weak and unreliable ally.

[image loading]


Big-Dog and Me-Too

Big Dog is a bully who doesn't hesitate to use his superior strength to intimidate other combatants. Big Dog may be smart, articulate or just plain mean, but in any case he is a remorseless fighter, brutally ripping into even the weakest of combatants. Once Big Dog securely fastens his powerful jaws on a hapless victim, Me-Too will join the attack. Me-Too is far too weak and insecure to engage in single combat, and must ally himself with Big Dog or a pack of other Warriors to bring down his quarry.

[image loading]


This is actually a pretty short list. That's not a bad thing.

***
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
August 22 2007 15:48 GMT
#2
Right !

+ Show Spoiler +
am i a grunt ?
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
bahhh
Profile Joined May 2007
United States888 Posts
August 22 2007 15:56 GMT
#3
i think i am a grunt too
Cpt Obvious
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Germany3073 Posts
August 22 2007 16:10 GMT
#4
I totally agree on the first point "elitism and clique-y-ness".

This is something I've tried to critique and mention whenever I could, but seemingly to no avail.
I've seen quite a few new posters that have contributed to discussions in a way that would embarass people like Moltke, yet they are flamed for meaningless details or asking a simple quetion about StarCraft or whatever.

Some people here tend to wear their leeway for armor and their postcount as weapon, and I strongly disapprove of that. But hey what can you possibly do abouzt it?

It's just the way it is I guess. But to all the new guys: We're not all insecure internet bullies that pretend to not want you here. You're welcome on our site, have fun here and follow he rules, then you get to bully the new guys in a coupe of months when SC2 gets released. :/
Nobody ever reads signatures of people like me, do they?
Cpt Obvious
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Germany3073 Posts
August 22 2007 16:10 GMT
#5
5/5 btw, equally elaborate and true, one of the best blog posts I've seen.
Nobody ever reads signatures of people like me, do they?
Flaccid
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
8925 Posts
August 22 2007 16:13 GMT
#6
On August 23 2007 00:56 bahhh wrote:
i think i am a grunt too


Actually, my critiques are aimed at the more longer-term posters so fear not - you guys with a few hundred posts are safe.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32282 Posts
August 22 2007 16:36 GMT
#7
I think im a Grunt
Moderator<:3-/-<
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32282 Posts
August 22 2007 16:36 GMT
#8
It was funny to read, but do you hate people with big post counts Flaccid?
Moderator<:3-/-<
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32159 Posts
August 22 2007 16:40 GMT
#9
You're an angry man rainman =x. Angry about the oilers, angry about posters, and likes to drink. Your rants are always funny =]

PLease tell me you drew those illustrations, they are awesome lol

PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Flaccid
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
8925 Posts
August 22 2007 17:00 GMT
#10
Heh, I wish. They are from the site I linked to in the post.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
JensOfSweden
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Cameroon1767 Posts
August 22 2007 17:06 GMT
#11
Man this was a great read, and TL houses alot of these types, as do any forums really. But the elitisism is what makes TL outstanding in a way too, but when nerds start acting all superior it gets kinda silly.
<3 Nada [On and off TL.net since 2002
Phantom
Profile Joined September 2004
Canada2151 Posts
August 22 2007 17:53 GMT
#12
this makes TL.net sound like an MMO...T_T...
http://www.gosugamers.net/starcraft2/members/Phantom
Pressure
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
7326 Posts
August 22 2007 17:58 GMT
#13
i love the pictures
Yogurt
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States4258 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-22 19:34:57
August 22 2007 19:34 GMT
#14
Many in their spiderman underpants while eating cereal in the basement of their parents' house.

wtf HOW DID YOU KNOW
i'm eating cereal in the basement as im reading this wtf
ok dont not so good something is something ok ok ok gogogo
MoNKeYSpanKeR
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States2869 Posts
August 22 2007 19:39 GMT
#15
On August 23 2007 04:34 Yogurt wrote:
Many in their spiderman underpants while eating cereal in the basement of their parents' house.

wtf HOW DID YOU KNOW
i'm eating cereal in the basement as im reading this wtf

What kind of cereal?
<3's Mani and Seraphim, thx for the second chance. TSL Name: TSL-mSLeGenD
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26004 Posts
August 22 2007 19:56 GMT
#16
I don't think that Flooper thing was worth mentioning. He tried a certain style of joke, it failed hard, and two people made fun of him. Hardly people 'jumping all over a new user'.

I think giving people shit is a right of passage of sorts. If one dumbass makes an apm thread, and 50 people call him a fag, and people read that, they will probably be less likely to repeat. If someone goes "PvZ imba how I win?" and gets 50 meaningful replies, you're only encouraging more people to start dumb threads.

I guess it depends what style of forum you like, but in my ideal little world, every thread would have a meaningful opening post with lengthy discussion, rather than many threads each discussing small things.

It's also kind of funny that your post about elitism comes across as elitist by basically personally attacking everyone. Not that anyone cares, it just could have been executed a lot better.

Ahh I've lost my point...
Moderator
Yogurt
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
United States4258 Posts
August 22 2007 20:17 GMT
#17
On August 23 2007 04:39 MoNKeYSpanKeR wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 23 2007 04:34 Yogurt wrote:
Many in their spiderman underpants while eating cereal in the basement of their parents' house.

wtf HOW DID YOU KNOW
i'm eating cereal in the basement as im reading this wtf

What kind of cereal?


miniwheats
ok dont not so good something is something ok ok ok gogogo
Flaccid
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
8925 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-22 20:53:12
August 22 2007 20:48 GMT
#18
On August 23 2007 04:56 Chill wrote:
It's also kind of funny that your post about elitism comes across as elitist by basically personally attacking everyone. Not that anyone cares, it just could have been executed a lot better.

Ahh I've lost my point...


The attack wasn't really personal was it? I didn't mention anyone by name =[.

It's a blog and a blog seems to be more for mindless, nonsensical rambling than 'executing something well'. Hence why I'd never post something as stream-of-conscious as this in General.

I'm not sure how I was specifically coming across as elitist in this post unless it is by definition impossible to criticize without the presumption of superiority. I think my statement that I complete understand if people don't care about what I have to say is anything but elitist. ><
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary26004 Posts
August 22 2007 21:20 GMT
#19
Well, it was just the fact that you keep labelling people as nerds and then go on to post something 3 times longer than the original point defining each nerd.

Anyway I do agree with your point. Except for the strat forum. Keep that shit out of there
Moderator
Flaccid
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
8925 Posts
August 22 2007 23:06 GMT
#20
Haha, we're ALL nerds by default. We visit a SC forum for fun for Christ's sake =]. I'm hitting myself with that label too, for the record.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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