EPT
First of all let me get this clear. There are 2 basic ways of approaching a woman. You can be good looking, you can be funny, you can be both or none of them. If you apply to the last group you should consider homosexuality (or fake homosexuality, I heard that works).
Personally I have some kind of sick hobby of trying to get girls in clubs with the most retarded pick up lines/stories ever. Its not something I do consciously, it just happens when I'm drunk. I take some beers and next thing I know I'm talking to a girl, telling her my dad is a model photographer. And it works!
So let's start with something that happened to me some time ago. I was in a club when...
I was dancing drunk on a high part of the club (TL Translation: cliff). I saw this awesome girl, who from now all we shall call Veronica.
![[image loading]](http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/2909/caroladelbianco1lt2.jpg)
This could be Veronica
So I descended the "cliff" smoothly, only pushing 3 people in the way, vomiting on the 4th one and crashing in a not so happy ending against a column. I was still eager to talk to this girl, but as my nose was bleeding I proceeded to cover her face in blood with a swift sneeze.
Not knowing what to do with that situation I started thinking at roadrunner speed about apologizing to her. Instead, as I was in shock, and taking advantage that she had not seen me yet, I gave her a precise blow to her nose, leaving her unconscious, and hopefully erasing her memory of what just happened.
"Now when will I see her again?" I asked myself. So I first run for my life, while taking her scarf as a war-trophy.
It turned out that some people I know, knew her. They told me she went to that place every saturday. So I planned my next move.
I came across her in that club 3 months later. Our conversation went something like this.
Me: Uh, sorry to bother you... but is this scarf yours?
Veronica:!.. YES! where did you take it from?
Me: Oh you dropped it like a month ago on this club while some bouncers where taking you out to take some fresh air...
Veronica: (while i'm handling her the scarf) Yeah, I felt someone coming close and next thing i know i was outside bleeding!
Me: Yeah, lots of potheads doing crazy shit these days. I dont know who hit you, but take care, i dont want you to get hurt.
Veronica: yeah.. Thanks for the scarf btw!
Me: No problem, see you around.
(10 minutes later)
Tiago: And you still have the guts to stay around?
Veronica: What?
Tiago: Now you will see!!
Me: What do you think you are doing? *Punches directly to the face*
(20 minutes before)
Me: Are you Mary's boyfriend?
Tiago: Who are you?
Me: A friend of her. Listen Mary told me theres this girl called Veronica that threatened your girlfriend about ganging her with some friends... I was told who she is. I will give her this scarf when you see me do that, go for her.
Tiago: Thanks a lot man, i will take care of it.
Me: No problem!
(Some days before)
Florencia: Uh, so let me get this straight. You want me to call this girl Mary all the weekend and threaten her?
Me: Yes.
Florencia: And from a public phone so they dont know who I am?
Me: Yes.
Florencia: What do I gain from all this?
Me: My eternal friendship.
Florencia: It will cost you more.
Me: 30?
Florencia: Done.
(1 month before)
Random Guy: Ok, so 30 for those 2 CDs?
Me: Yeap.
Random Guy: Deal.
(20 days before)
Me: Man im really sorry, but i think i lost your CDs...
Random Friend: ...
From then on, It was awesome, it was as if I just sent her a troyan via e-mail, read her chatlogs, checked her searches, her preferences. You could even think i used all the information to develop the profile of a guy she would absolutely love. But of course all of this is something that could have happened. Maybe it wasn't exactly this. Maybe I sent the troyan via MSN.
The guide itself... on my next update, stay tuned!
![[image loading]](http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/597/1robje1ie8.jpg)
