EPT
This guy's sense of timing, his toucher (that's French for to touch; gotta learn something new every day, right?) it has just the right amount of imperfection. It's just so freaking beautiful.
A month ago I lost my best friend's dear mother, she was pretty much like a mother of my own to me.
I feel so terribly sad for my friend; he had to previously suffer the loss his father to the same disease, cancer... 30 years old and no parents left. Well, I guess it can always be worse? That's somewhat of a soothing thought anyway. I'm just glad he isn't alone; he is 'ironically' lucky enough to have a really nice girlfriend who has supported him amazingly well throughout.
Do you have any specific goals you guys want to accomplish in life?
Oh... Btw, I've grown so fond of this guy playing Castlevania on piano, but good chance you do not give a damn. I mean, I read blogs too. I don't always read entire blogs, especially when they're lengthy*. + Show Spoiler +
*Hello ninazerg
So, about those goals. You must have goals in life, right? I've wondered a lot about said mother her goals. Did she reach all her goals? She was terminally ill, she got super depressed but she accepted she was going to die. It was like life didn't matter anymore at all. Well that's a side effect of deep depression.
She had a lot (of goals) accomplished in life, but all of it very selfless. She had always helped others. Was that because her heart was so pure? Perhaps it was a weakness? I mean, I've noticed that it is true for me; it's much easier to do something for someone else than it is to do it for myself. How come? Why would one please others above thyself? Okay. Wait. Let's not get this too philosophical. I'll just keep it as some food for thought. I don't know the answer nor do I want to think about the answer. Instead I will just wonder about the question.
I have had many goals in life. Many I've had to set aside due to being too unrealistic. My main goal in life is to inspire others to become a better self, leave a mark. My mark. Whenever I did reach a goal in life, I would always set a new goal. I guess we all do that. However, I had never put too much thought in about what I want to accomplish before I die. Last few month I've been working to have no more zero days. Every day there has to be made a step - however small doesn't matter - towards being accomplished. It's going to take a couple more years...
When I'm dying, I want to be able to tell myself I have accomplished the main things I set out to do. I think that must be the truest of a testament. Maybe that's why my friend's mother was okay with dying even though she had little choice. Accepting death in a deep depression is a great outcome. In fact I still see death as a great solution for my chronicle depression, but that is not by which I want to be remembered. Gotta keep on fighting. Perhaps reaching my life goals are going to cure me, else I wanna die forever trying.
That guy playing piano you have (hopefully) been listening to, I hope you have enjoyed it. I was reading his YouTube description the other day:
"Piano videos with a focus on game music.
I stopped playing the piano due to a problem with my fingers. I have left my channel and cannot receive comments and messages anymore. Thank you for your support over the years."
How fucked up is that? I think that's so sad. Playing piano is one of the biggest things in my life. I hope to present you a future blog with recordings of my own, that come somewhat close to what that guy has done (or I will have failed).¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What can you do? Here is my ultimate favourite of his:
His channel is like one giant legacy to me.
