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So after only having 2 hours sleep last night I decided to grab an energy drink when I did my grocery shopping. The store had run out of cold Rockstar Guava (my usual choice) so I grabbed a Monster Original. I hadn't had a Monster for a long time. I got home and poured it into a glass with some ice and had a sip whereupon I promptly remembered why I hadn't had Monster in a long time and poured it down the drain.
So this made me think about what other options I should take in future if I desperately need a caffeine boost, which in turn led to this personal tier list.
I'm only ranking drinks I have tried, which rules out all the sugar free options and some may be Australian only I'm not sure. Some also I haven't tried in ages and may have changed or not exist anymore. I'm sure I'm forgetting some.
GOD TIER
Rockstar Guava - My personal fave. Great taste, solid kick and lasts for a long time. Absolutely full of sugar. My first choice for gaming sessions.
Red Bull - Arguably the quickest kick. Good taste. Excellent all-rounder. My first choice for gigs and emergency pick me ups.
S TIER
Red Eye Platinum - Much more of a slow burner. Not as big a kick as most others, lasts much longer, no real crash. Another good gaming choice
Rockstar Original - Not quite as tasty as the guava but does the same job.
GOOD TIER
Effect - Had this in Berlin when I went travelling. Good taste, fairly mild kick but long lasting. Cheap too.
Lucozade - Not as good for sports as they try and make out. I only choose this if I'm dehydrated but desperate, which is very rarely.
V Berry - Haven't seen this in a while but it had less negative effects on me than normal V for some reason.
AVERAGE TIER
V Original - This stuff gives me a headache and tends to make me anxious. Does give a solid kick and not as much crash.
Mother Original - The original mother was handed out for free at orientation day the year I started university. Around the corner from the van there was a table which promptly began to overflow with unfinished cans. Tasted like swamp water. Then they remade it and made something best described as a worse Red Bull.
Mother Berry - Like normal Mother, not atrocious but a worse option than other Berry flavoured drinks.
SHIT TIER
Red Bull Tropical - Possibly the worst tasting drink on this list for me.
Monster Original - Nauseating headache material. Tastes awful and feels awful after drinking.
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Depending on your diet, you might have to be a bit careful not to give yourself a heart attack 
Not that I'm one to talk, when I was at uni I usually had 3-4 Red Bulls a day... and now I'm a coffee junkie.
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So the blue Monster (which I think is low carb) is my personal go to. I don't care about the low carb but it just tastes great to me. Personally I think Red Bull tastes like urine, but I want to like it so much because the company is awesome 
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as far as I'm concerned they're all shit tier
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Northern Ireland22213 Posts
holy shit +1 on the rockstar guava, i discovered it in the supermarket a few months ago and godtier indeed
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I thought the normal Monster tasted like something you probably shouldn't drink. It's like your body is telling you to stop but i finished the can anyway cause i paid for it goddammit. In Monsters defense Rossi is probably the best energy drink I've tasted though i very rarely drink them. I don't think it's available in the US.
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Northern Ireland22213 Posts
tbh i quite like monster original, but that's because my initial exposures to it were drinking it with jaegermeister in clubs/bars
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On May 12 2017 16:38 sCuMBaG wrote:Depending on your diet, you might have to be a bit careful not to give yourself a heart attack Not that I'm one to talk, when I was at uni I usually had 3-4 Red Bulls a day... and now I'm a coffee junkie.
I only have one a day at max and try not to have more than 5 in a week.
On May 12 2017 22:12 StarVe wrote:
as far as I'm concerned they're all shit tier
Is this because you think all energy drinks are shit or that there are better ones where you come from? I spent about a month in Germany in 2015 and saw heaps of random ones but only tried the effect.
On May 12 2017 21:54 YourGoodFriend wrote:So the blue Monster (which I think is low carb) is my personal go to. I don't care about the low carb but it just tastes great to me. Personally I think Red Bull tastes like urine, but I want to like it so much because the company is awesome
Pretty sure that's the sugar free one but I haven't tried it.
On May 12 2017 22:31 ahswtini wrote:
holy shit +1 on the rockstar guava, i discovered it in the supermarket a few months ago and godtier indeed
It's only $2 AUD at my local shops. Roughly half the price of other 500ml cans. So good!
On May 12 2017 23:09 Daray wrote:
I thought the normal Monster tasted like something you probably shouldn't drink. It's like your body is telling you to stop but i finished the can anyway cause i paid for it goddammit. In Monsters defense Rossi is probably the best energy drink I've tasted though i very rarely drink them. I don't think it's available in the US.
I had the same thought about waste of money but still couldn't bring myself to drink any more of it
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Pretty sure that's the sugar free one but I haven't tried it.
There's both like a low sugar/low-carb and a sugar free one (absolute zero). The lower sugar one is definitely better than the original green since it's not so sticky sweet. When I played a lot of Starcraft 2 I'd freeze the blues for awhile so they'd have some ice crystals in them then drink them like that, was pretty good.
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SoCal8933 Posts
Monster at the bottom? Flawed list, zero stars 
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As someone who's god damn near 30, I have to vouch for coffee.
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I actually love the original Monster. Can't drink more than 1,25 can though because I'll start feeling sick 
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28100 Posts
I really like both Rockstar choices there. I'd personally move Redbull to the shit tier and bump up Monster Original one tier. Never had Lucozade/Effect/V so I can't place those. Everything else seems fine.
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Monster has at least 9 energy drinks on the market (Original, Absolutely Zero, The Doctor / Rossi, Assault, Rehab, Ultra Citron, Ultra, Ultra Red and Ultra Sunrise)
Red Bull has at least 9 energy drinks on the market (Original, Sugarfree, Zero Calories, Blue, Tropical, Orange, Green, Summer, Simply Cola)
Looking through the catalogue I can only find five from Rockstar (Original, Super Sours Green Apple, Xdurance Berry, Punched Tropical Guava and Pure Zero Guava) but this is regional
Scandinavia has some real kickers in NOCCO and Celsius - I don't know of their availability in other regions.
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Energy drinks? You mean sugary sweetened carbonated fizzy drinks?
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I used to consume energy drinks all day.
Red bull never said me anything.. boring.. any didn't have any better effect than the others (I an uncertain if the caffeine and chemical levels are different in Denmark, because of certain restrictions)
Monster would definitely top my list. Especially during workout. Monster Assault, and monster Original.
Didn't feel much from rockstar.. or the cheap brands.
We all burn out eventually. Stay off that shit :D
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On May 12 2017 22:12 StarVe wrote:
as far as I'm concerned they're all shit tier
gonna have to agree with this lol.
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On May 14 2017 13:29 vasculaR wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2017 22:12 StarVe wrote:
as far as I'm concerned they're all shit tier gonna have to agree with this lol.
WHOLLY agree.
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Hot 6ix for a dollar in Korea's my go to, more sugary than red bull but gets the job done for about half the price. It's tough when you don't drink coffee and need to stay awake.
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On May 15 2017 20:56 NeThZOR wrote:Show nested quote +On May 14 2017 13:29 vasculaR wrote:On May 12 2017 22:12 StarVe wrote:
as far as I'm concerned they're all shit tier gonna have to agree with this lol. WHOLLY agree.
Do all you of you mean that you think energy drinks are shit in general or that there are good ones I haven't listed?
On May 15 2017 21:13 Scarecrow wrote:
Hot 6ix for a dollar in Korea's my go to, more sugary than red bull but gets the job done for about half the price. It's tough when you don't drink coffee and need to stay awake.
They sponsor GSL right? I don't think it's available where I live
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EPT
