EPTNext summer will be the first summer where I start going to weddings. My girl and I are looking at cities with a good economy, decent schools, and affordable real estate. At work, there's an associate that does financial models for me, so I can spend time doing more productive things, like playing email ping-pong with the moneymen and dreamers of our 21st-century Valley of the Kings and blanking endless slides on a whiteboard to "hone a message" and win "sponsorship" from the firm's leadership.
But I wake up at midnight, like my insomniac, feverish self usually does now, to the news that Proleague is gone... and I feel it's finally over.
I wouldn't call it my young adulthood, but I would definitely call it the end of a chapter. It all began when I first watched SPL with my korean roommate in college, when he introduced me to Lee Yun Yeol and Ma Jae Yoon and Lim Yo Hwan. I remember when I used to get up at 4 to watch Proleague and the OSL/MSL, to watch this amazing prodigy named Flash systematically dismantle his opposition. I remember quitting TL in a rage when Flash was robbed of his first dual OSL/MSL title by a power outage.
I remember the joy of my first job and the sadness when I learned it was an interminable effort to produce the "right message" so our projects could "roll" and the partners could reduce "client churn". I remember starting my first company, thinking that this would be a more honest expression of capitalism. I was horribly wrong. I was so wrong I led all my friends down that path with me. Together, we watched it blow up, watched depression take over my brain, watched my life fall to pieces.
I remember starting over my career two years behind schedule, trying to explain this one to friends who pretended to listen and to the school alumni donation center who still won't stop calling me.
And... then I took a transpacific flight where I met the girl of my dreams, who's been there with me as I rebuilt my life. The funny thing is, 4 months before I met her, as I walked back from a New Years' party alone, someone had leaned out of a limo's retractable roof and said "I would find the love of my life" that year. They weren't wrong.
I remember working hard - falling asleep going 70 mph up the I-65 one February morning after a long week holding the client's hand. I remember the tires on ice, being jolted awake by the horn of an oncoming semi. Every day since then has been a blessing, I guess. I hate driving now and still seek to avoid it whenever possible - can't wait for driverless.
Now I live in a cookie cutter apartment somewhere in a dormitory filled with engineers (like my neighbors) and folks who make money off engineers (me). I go to Korean BBQ on weekends, happy hour on Fridays, long walks on weeknights, and video chat with the girl when I have a spare moment.
I miss having friends. They're all half a continent away. My closest friends here consist of people who I'm either trying to make money off of or who eventually might try to make money off me, so it makes things difficult. Even when I'm laughing with them, on the inside, I'm still like a stone. And that doesn't feel right.
My book... I can't write about real people anymore. I just killed off my main character because he started getting to Randian for my taste, because everyone around me has a larger than life image they have to live up to and there are no real people to observe. Everyone I know out here is "incredibly humble", whatever the fuck that means. The other day I was chatting with a fairly well known AI scientist and he said he preferred to communicate "asynchronously", then when we exchanged emails, he said he preferred to communicate "offline". What? So he wants to chat via telepathy? And why does everyone have to talk like that here? The fuck is wrong with you people? Do you actually give a fuck about something other than your pet chatbot and the homeless people you meet at your designated volunteering activity every month?
Speaking of homeless... I see couples making $300k a year here struggling to make ends meet. Something is wrong with this city if making 6x the median national household income = living an hour away from work so your kids can share a bedroom, your mom have to live with you because you can't afford a babysitter, taking 8 years to pay off your student loans, and only just getting your wife an engagement ring this year. Seriously, fuck the Mountain View zoning commission, fuck the Palo Alto zoning commission, fuck the Sunnyvale zoning commission, fuck the Cupertino zoning commission, fuck the Santa Clara zoning commission, and definitely fuck the San Jose zoning commission because all of you cowards can't grow a spine and stand up to all these homeowners who will make up every conceivable excuse to prevent multifamily units from going up.
Or maybe I'm just becoming a cranky old man now. I should probably just go back to sleep. Another day of whiteboarding and emailing awaits, and I like to send my emails at 530AM so people think I'm motivated.
EDIT:
Oh, and TL is sold now? And they didn't even ask me to help with the process? I'm disappointed =P
+ Show Spoiler [my favorite SPL game ever] +
My favorite SPL series ever: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/bw-tournaments/112895-swl-sk-telecom-t1-vs-kt-rolster
