EPTIt came to me in a dream that we should create a perfect society free of economic pressure, (because as many of you know it is economic pressure that is the problem), and so (pretending these commas are actually periods), I found myself asking why is economic pressure the problem.
Various demons and angels submitted some responses about the value of the dollar and whether we should just siphon away souls and be done with the entire question in regular Marxian fashion. After a short vote as usual the mortals were suggested to be a bunch of useless sons of bitches and the economic pressures would have to continue as long as they had to strictly because the mortals were a bunch of useless sons of bitches.
Being enlightened as I am and as many of the top gods are, I decided we would hold a contest. The deity most able to legalize marijuana, prevent petty strife, and crack down on crack cocaine, ecstasy, heroin, and to some lesser degree opium would win a higher post. He would also get to instate his favorite presidential team as president.
A few thousand mortals were sacrificed overnight and most of us were pretty pumped up to watch them get obliterated. This sweetened the pot and so finally we created a rule set that would finally created heaven / hell on earth in the shortest time with the least moral ambiguity.
I decided to end economics up to and perhaps even beyond the point of no return by rewarding the candidate most able to end hard drugs and save the third world without relying on mindless economic pressure.
i.e. the winner shouldn't force people to work at the gas station as a priority solution to crack cocaine, ecstasy, heroin, or opium.
the winner should create real jobs with a real point (and absolutely not invoke the minimum wage as the best means of defeating the hard drug markets).
as usual i'll make tons of money as i watch a bunch of useless sons of bitches squabble endlessly about how i'm not perfectly correct.
