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My 21st birthday story

Blogs > Onegu
Post a Reply
Onegu
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States9699 Posts
May 14 2015 04:05 GMT
#1
So this happened 9 years ago but the story is good so I decided to share it with you guys.



So it started off normally at a college bar. My friends said they were going to make sure I puked or it wouldnt be a real 21st birthday party. So to start the night they lined up 7 shots. Wiskey, Gin, Vodka, Tequila, Rum, Jager, and Peppermint schnopps. The last one was and asshole... Then we decided to play a drinking game after I slammed all of my shots. So we played the card game asshole. I first started with a beer but was soon taking shots everytime I had to drink as people kept buying me drinks. After 3 hours I was at 34 shots and 2 beers.

So being completely and utterly smashed we had a great idea. STRIPCLUB!!! So we all pack up and go to the stripclub. We get in there first thing that happens 2 shots and a mixed drink magiclly appear in front of me. Well nice down the shots. Then sip on the mixed drink while getting so breasts in my face good time. When they know its your birthday you get some attention.

So then 2 more shots show up. And a stipper comes with a shot between her breast to give to me on the house WOOT. So 3 more shots down.

Like 5 minutes later I need to throw up... Ok where is the bathroom. I try to hurry but it just makes things worse. About halfway there it all comes up. Right on the steps where the strippers come off the stage. Oops...

Still feeling sick I know Im going to do it again. Straight to the bathroom. But in my mind Im in the bathroom its all good. I go to a sink. Not a toilet a sink and continue to throw up directly inside of it. About this time my friends come walking in "Joe man you cant be in here you have to get out." Im not listening Im pukeing my guts up in this sink.

"Joe dude this is the womens restroom" Oops. I finally realize what is going on as I look up in the mirror and there is this stripper right behind me just staring at me with her mouth open.

About this time the bouncer comes in and is all like he has to go. But my buddy is friends with him and tells him its my 21st birthday. So we get to stay. But he cuts me off. So I look down at my polo shirt and its like covered in vomit. So I go out take it off and throw it in a trash can. Go back inside and get my mixed drink that somebody had just bought for me.

Then a stripper comes up and is like do you want a dance. My friends were like YES HE DOES. So we go back and she starts grinding on me and I tell her its my 21st birthday. Then she gets all friendly. So I get this crazy idea in my head. Im going to lie to this chick. I tell her I had never kissed a girl before. She is like really? Drunk me was like Totally! So with my vomit puke filled mouth this stripper starts to make out with me...

So we finish the dance with my puke stained shirt and she goes up to my friends and goes "has he really not kissed a girl before?" And they go "He is 21 of course he has kissed a girl before." She then just walks away.

Shortly after this we leave and I am driven home. Waking up with a huge hangover.

***
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Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-05-14 08:37:57
May 14 2015 08:37 GMT
#2
Sounds like a perfect 21st birthday to me! Maybe a more private dance would have been on the cards for mine but still sounds good :D

My 21st was spent in Vegas

Oh on another note, never kiss a stripper you don't know where there mouths have been XD best to keep that area a no go.
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
May 14 2015 09:17 GMT
#3
Pretty sure 39 shots in that amount of time would kill you...
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Grovbolle
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Denmark3811 Posts
May 14 2015 09:36 GMT
#4
On May 14 2015 18:17 Scarecrow wrote:
Pretty sure 39 shots in that amount of time would kill you...

39 shots in 3-5 hours will not kill you, just make you drunk and puke.
Lies, damned lies and statistics: http://aligulac.com
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24743 Posts
May 14 2015 11:20 GMT
#5
That evening sounds more like hell to me than enjoyment. And if I was a 'friend' at that party, the evening would just make me feel shitty.

I don't get the fascination with making people drink till they puke on their 21st birthday. Why not just punch people in the face repeatedly until they faint instead? It's much cheaper.

Glad you're ok, though!
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-05-14 12:07:02
May 14 2015 11:28 GMT
#6
On May 14 2015 18:36 Grovbolle wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 14 2015 18:17 Scarecrow wrote:
Pretty sure 39 shots in that amount of time would kill you...

39 shots in 3-5 hours will not kill you, just make you drunk and puke.

... he'd have been around 0.5/0.6 BAC, assuming the shots were actual shots and he's not a giant, that's well past drunk and puke territory. College kids have died in the .4's from acute poisoning. According to the BAC wiki >0.4 is coma territory. Over 0.5 is a high risk of death.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
rafaliusz
Profile Joined December 2009
Poland482 Posts
May 14 2015 13:18 GMT
#7
Sounds like a great birthday.
Onegu
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States9699 Posts
May 14 2015 14:27 GMT
#8
On May 14 2015 20:28 Scarecrow wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 14 2015 18:36 Grovbolle wrote:
On May 14 2015 18:17 Scarecrow wrote:
Pretty sure 39 shots in that amount of time would kill you...

39 shots in 3-5 hours will not kill you, just make you drunk and puke.

... he'd have been around 0.5/0.6 BAC, assuming the shots were actual shots and he's not a giant, that's well past drunk and puke territory. College kids have died in the .4's from acute poisoning. According to the BAC wiki >0.4 is coma territory. Over 0.5 is a high risk of death.



I'm 6'3" 275.
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Alakaslam
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United States17336 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-05-15 05:35:36
May 15 2015 05:34 GMT
#9
On May 14 2015 20:20 micronesia wrote:
That evening sounds more like hell to me than enjoyment. And if I was a 'friend' at that party, the evening would just make me feel shitty.

I don't get the fascination with making people drink till they puke on their 21st birthday. Why not just punch people in the face repeatedly until they faint instead? It's much cheaper.

Glad you're ok, though!

Ditto.

My 21st was uneventful. I am teetotal.

I am looking forward to 25, so I can rent cars and have insurance.

I am also ashamed that I remain unmarried at almost 25.
If you think Elon Musk is a Nazi, it is because YOU radicalized him!
Onegu
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States9699 Posts
May 15 2015 16:08 GMT
#10
On May 15 2015 14:34 Alakaslam wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 14 2015 20:20 micronesia wrote:
That evening sounds more like hell to me than enjoyment. And if I was a 'friend' at that party, the evening would just make me feel shitty.

I don't get the fascination with making people drink till they puke on their 21st birthday. Why not just punch people in the face repeatedly until they faint instead? It's much cheaper.

Glad you're ok, though!

Ditto.

My 21st was uneventful. I am teetotal.

I am looking forward to 25, so I can rent cars and have insurance.

I am also ashamed that I remain unmarried at almost 25.



I didn't meet the right girl until I was 25, almost 26. You got time slam.
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Alakaslam
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United States17336 Posts
May 15 2015 18:24 GMT
#11
I have an autism spectrum disorder though. Those have been linked to older fathers.
If you think Elon Musk is a Nazi, it is because YOU radicalized him!
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