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Active: 14449 users

What is cheese, exactly? And why is it bad?

Blogs > ninazerg
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
September 12 2014 16:07 GMT
#1
[image loading]
what the fuck is this shit


Yo, lately, I been wondering what cheese even is. Like I see it and I'm baffled about how something like that could come about. It's like, soft and yellowish, but isn't bread or meat or a vegetable or fruit or a root or anything. There are no cheese trees waving in the breeze, where freshly ripened cheese drops from the branches when THE HARVEST HAS BEGUN. So I did some research on wikipedia and apparently cheese is made of milk, which makes no sense since milk is liquid and cheese is solid. The only time a liquid goes to a solid is when there is lava and it turns into rock. Because since milk is not super-heated molten material, I have no idea where this cheese comes from.

Then I learned something. If you leave a glass of milk out for, like, a week, the milk turns into a solid, disgusting rubbery solid that smells awful. So really, we're just eating rotten milk when we eat cheese. Gross. Imagine if we did that with anything else, like you barge into a Subway and go "Yo papi, gimme a turkey sub on whole wheat bread, not toasted, and I want some brown putrid rotten lettuce on that." That would be insane. I'd just be like "Get the hell out before I call the cops." and hold the phone in my hand as if you show that I'd actually do it, but it'd be a bluff cuz I don't trust the pigs and would never even talk to them.

Apparently, also, cheese clogs your veins and arteries and cuts off your blood flow and then you're dead. This has been proven by scientists.

So that's why cheese is bad and I won't eat it.

**
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
LeeJohnDong
Profile Joined May 2014
Ireland58 Posts
September 12 2014 16:33 GMT
#2
How original.
#1 JaeDong Fan || ►http://www.twitch.tv/LeeJohnDong || follow! Say Hi!
PhoenixVoid
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Canada32740 Posts
September 12 2014 16:37 GMT
#3
Fascinates me when ancient humans looked at the milk they left fermented in their caves, smelled it, and determined it was safe to eat and made it a delicacy. Some food when broken down sounds crazy. Would you really find, "fermented vegetables in brine" or "rice left in vinegar then wrapped with seaweed and raw fish" as appetizing, or if they were named pickles and sushi?
I'm afraid of demented knife-wielding escaped lunatic libertarian zombie mutants
Faust852
Profile Joined February 2012
Luxembourg4004 Posts
September 12 2014 16:47 GMT
#4
But you'd drink 10 years old grappe juice hehe.

Anyway, I love cheese.
ThomasjServo
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
15244 Posts
September 12 2014 16:50 GMT
#5
Think about how long it took to master Fugu then. Well I know, Jiro, Takahashi, Akira, and Miko all died when they ate that fish, but I think I got it down now.
Trozz
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3454 Posts
September 12 2014 17:24 GMT
#6
Strange phenomenon.
It goes hand in hand with whine.
That's some fine dining.
A build is not a guess, an estimation or a hunch, a feeling, or a foolish intuition. A build is a dependable, unwavering, unarguably accurate, portrayer of your ambition.
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-09-12 17:49:47
September 12 2014 17:48 GMT
#7
You're too late:
On April 06 2014 18:12 BigFan wrote:
well, it depends on what kind of cheese you are talking about OP. I mean, there's the fatty ones like Mozzarella or you can go for the greek cheese like feta which has a slight salty flavor. Let's not forget about cottage cheese or cheddar cheese though. There are a ton of varieties of cheese and each are pretty unique. As for why people call you those names, maybe they just don't like the same type of cheese you do?

As you can see, I'm a cheese expert. Guess you can say my advice aged well I'll be nice and give you 4/5 for trying though. Better luck next time!
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
pebble444
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Italy2496 Posts
September 12 2014 19:12 GMT
#8
French and dutch cheeses are the best. Oh and in Italy mozzarella is not called cheese, its just mozzarella. and compared to parmigiano reggiano i do not see how it is fattening at all. It doesn' t even have salt in it, and it must be eaten before a couple of days, unless it is dried, then it belongs on pizza. To make any cheese you only need 2 things. milk and salt. The salt prevents the milk from "rotting" . Most cheeses contain are made also with rennet.

Also Protoss cheese is very good, only if you are the one serving it and not the one eating it

"Awaken my Child, and embrace the Glory that is your Birthright"
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
September 12 2014 20:04 GMT
#9
On September 13 2014 01:33 LeeJohnDong wrote:
How original.


I HOPE UR MAD TO THE MAX
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
dRaW
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada5744 Posts
September 12 2014 20:18 GMT
#10
You forgot about water... IT TURNS TO ICE! Ice Ice Baby~ Anyway I give this -1 star cause I thought it was about BW Cheese or gaming cheese. Cheese the food is delicious and you should eat some till you die for a thread like this.
I don't need luck, luck is for noobs, good luck to you though
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
September 12 2014 20:19 GMT
#11
On September 13 2014 05:18 dRaW wrote:
You forgot about water... IT TURNS TO ICE! Ice Ice Baby~ Anyway I give this -1 star cause I thought it was about BW Cheese or gaming cheese. Cheese the food is delicious and you should eat some till you die for a thread like this.


It wouldn't take much
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
September 12 2014 20:45 GMT
#12
On September 13 2014 04:12 pebble444 wrote:
French and dutch cheeses are the best. Oh and in Italy mozzarella is not called cheese, its just mozzarella. and compared to parmigiano reggiano i do not see how it is fattening at all. It doesn' t even have salt in it, and it must be eaten before a couple of days, unless it is dried, then it belongs on pizza. To make any cheese you only need 2 things. milk and salt. The salt prevents the milk from "rotting" . Most cheeses contain are made also with rennet.

Also Protoss cheese is very good, only if you are the one serving it and not the one eating it


Salt isn't everything. Salt would raise your blood pressure but mozzarella cheese is known to have a decent amount of fat and not the good kind either. I dunno how different Italian mozzarella is though so I won't speculate there.
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
Slayer91
Profile Joined February 2006
Ireland23335 Posts
September 12 2014 20:47 GMT
#13
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44077 Posts
September 12 2014 20:51 GMT
#14
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm :D Cheese.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Paljas
Profile Joined October 2011
Germany6926 Posts
September 12 2014 21:16 GMT
#15
to lazy to read original thread, 1/5.
TL+ Member
batsnacks
Profile Blog Joined April 2014
United States4466 Posts
September 12 2014 22:14 GMT
#16
On September 13 2014 01:07 ninazerg wrote:
Imagine if we did that with anything else, like you barge into a Subway and go "Yo papi, gimme a turkey sub on whole wheat bread, not toasted, and I want some brown putrid rotten lettuce on that." That would be insane.


You mean, like, kimchi? Kimchi is great on subs.
kimjung_theillest
Profile Joined September 2014
Korea (North)9 Posts
September 13 2014 00:00 GMT
#17
We have no subways in North korea, only KIMJUNGILLWAY
Hail your glorious leader
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
September 13 2014 00:49 GMT
#18
On September 13 2014 09:00 kimjung_theillest wrote:
We have no subways in North korea, only KIMJUNGILLWAY


You're gonna go far, kid.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Artanis[Xp]
Profile Blog Joined December 2005
Netherlands12968 Posts
September 13 2014 01:47 GMT
#19
I saw the two blogs next to one another, saw it was a nina blog and knew exactly what to expect.
I was not disappointed.
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-09-13 01:52:10
September 13 2014 01:50 GMT
#20
im lactose intolerant

also i thought this thread was gonna be that stupid debate about cheese and allins
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
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