EPTBlog Aug 22nd
Let's get right into it, folks.
Yesterday began like any other. I follow the simple maxim of always choosing the best first. In this case, we're talking about having the best part of the day, first. So I sat up in my bed and immediately laid back down to sleep again. Ah, fuckin' rejuvenating.
Upon my second wake, I stood out of bed and immediately engaged with the esoteric energies of the cosmic mind (second best thing of the day). I pondered the meaning of the butterfly's delicate flapping through gentle winds, the buzzing bee's zig-zag flight toward its sweet, sweet pollen-y objective, and reflected upon the beauty of the lion tearing out a gazelle's throat while a fountain of blood spurted out in order to nourish the Pride's cubs. Glorious, but the memory passed and I was forced to choose the next best thing.
I knew that today I was to visit a small tribe of folks who share my bloodline. These folks, well, I hadn't met them before and I was looking forward to impressing upon them the current pinnacle of evolution that our lineage has reached (ie. my self, my own opinions). In preparation for this I ran over to my dresser and ate a handful of jelly beans (the next-best thing I have toward the mythical Senzu bean, which I do suspect did not include modified corn starch, gelatins, Blue 40, nor the airborne germs sneezed into the manufacturing environment at the Jelly Belly mixing plant).
Being thusly rejuvenated and experiencing a surge of insulin, I ran out of the front door naked. Whoops, I went inside and began equipping the day's raiment of shorts that end mid-thigh and my Jesus Piece. Finally, I equipped my heavenly breastplate of bronze weaved depicting a spiraling lotus flower weaved in gold which emanated from the region of my solar plexus. Of course, some other asshole might say that it was just a hypnotoad shirt which was actually dyed green. Oh well.
I left my front door and engaged with the spiritual Hell that pervades the area of my bodily residence. A satanic demon I passed on the sidewalk attempted to blind my love for the world with a cursory glance, uttering, "good morning" RIGHT TO MY FACE! I gripped my J-piece and walked the rest of the way pressing it to the center of my forehead with my thumb and forefinger. This maneuver relieved me greatly and I proceeded to a small bakery ran by a spanish woman. There, I had coffee and sweetbread.
The best parts of the day expired thusly and I was forced to choose the next best thing. I followed a smell, which I detected upon exiting the bakery, and it turns out it was emanating from a hobo's stank armpit. I do not know why God delivered this message to me but I have been praying hard for revelation.
In the region of my blood tribe's village, green forests and rolling hills took over the landscape. An eagle with brilliant golden plumage tended to its young in a nest and I only wished it would also barf its nutrifying mix of bird saliva and worm guts into my mouth, too. But then the next best thing happened: I spent like 6 hours of the day playing variants of dodgeball while bouncing on a trampoline with my relatives.
At the pub that evening, I let a man tell me all of his problems in terms of projection onto me (my face is pretty and people like to talk to it). Then I killed him with indifference. Thug life.
Best Regards,
RG
