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I'm a good person most of the time, but I have a horrible habit of lying. I've decided to cut down, and hopefully reduce the day to day appearance of them. I know I won't be able to achieve a complete eradication, but for now, the goal is complete utter awareness. Through awareness I believe mindfulness will be cultivated and through mindfulness, internal resistance will grow.
Taking a page out of Alcoholics Anonymous, I've decided to call this post, the Liars Liberation. Originally, I posted it in General forums thinking this could be a group activity, but it's not worthy enough to belong there. Hence, it's become a blog!
Even small lies, the ones that accumulate over time can impinge on our reality. This thread is where we can if we so desire, catalog our lies, share in the lies of others, and hopefully, make progress towards being better human beings.
Here is a list of categories I've compiled; no doubt it is not comprehensive of all the possibles that can exist in our world.
- Lies of convenience - Lies of politeness - Spontaneous pointless lies (Usually when talking with women) - Lies of necessity - Malicious Lies
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The Context: The Lie: The Aftermath: Why the Lie: ===========================================================
9/2/2013 - Me
The Context: Applying to a job. Talk to secretary. I mention I studied Biochemistry. She mentions she hates science, enjoys books, Shakespeare, studied theater. I think she is cute.
The Lie: I say everyone hates something. I hate reading! Can't stand it. Haven't opened a book in ages.
The Aftermath: I meet with boss. She asks me what I like to do. I mention reading. And rattle off a few books. Secretary gives me a weird look. I feel a little shameful. How am I going to look her in the eye later?
Why the Lie: A spontaneous pointless lie? A lie that doesn't harm her. It just slipped out of my mouth. I wanted to connect with her. She had really soft boobs. I wanted a connection, so I said the first thing I thought that would create this connection. If she dislikes something, I should dislike something as well. ... Or I could have just said I like books as well. And we could have talked about that. Really a stupid lie.
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9/12/2013
None that I can very obviously recall except for the usual #1 and #2. Resume and School and some Teaching Experience exaggerations.
   
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For what it's worth, I don't think all lies are necessarily bad. I think some (e.g., "little white lies") may do more good than harm in the long run, and sometimes there are other ways to bring up problems or complications than being vigorously, unyieldingly truthful. Sometimes, you can still get the same point across compassionately by telling a mere half-truth in a more constructive way.
Although, of course, there are plenty of lies that are unjustified.
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The circumstance of the lie and the motivation of the lie is important.
Tired, overused example - "Do these jeans make me look fat?"
When your first instinct is to lie without even thinking about it, you should probably re-evaluate, but 100% honesty can be tough too even if you manage to be tactful about it. Of course, you are also missing the most devastatingly effective forms of lying - the lie of omission (in which you tell the truth, but not all of it) and the lie of hyperbole (in which you tell the truth but in such a way that it is guaranteed to be considered a falsehood).
+ Show Spoiler +There may be technical terms. I did not use them.
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On September 03 2013 11:50 felisconcolori wrote:The circumstance of the lie and the motivation of the lie is important. Tired, overused example - "Do these jeans make me look fat?" When your first instinct is to lie without even thinking about it, you should probably re-evaluate, but 100% honesty can be tough too even if you manage to be tactful about it. Of course, you are also missing the most devastatingly effective forms of lying - the lie of omission (in which you tell the truth, but not all of it) and the lie of hyperbole (in which you tell the truth but in such a way that it is guaranteed to be considered a falsehood). + Show Spoiler +There may be technical terms. I did not use them.
Sure we all make lies out of politeness. It's not our fault really, the question implies the answer. I'm talking about lies where you completely don't even need to lie.
See the example I gave.
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So your way of getting into a girls pants who loves reading/Shakespeare is to lie and say that you hate reading o.O Do you realise you're cockblocking yourself?
Also how can you tell her boobs are 'really soft' just by looking?
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On September 03 2013 13:16 Scarecrow wrote: So your way of getting into a girls pants who loves reading/Shakespeare is to lie and say that you hate reading o.O Do you realise you're cockblocking yourself?
Also how can you tell her boobs are 'really soft' just by looking?
Stupid I know. Hmm @ boobs, she was wearing something that showed a little cleavage in a very appropriate way ... and had a gentle face.
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I am going to speak generally. There is only <5% you get the job and a much higher chance you get the girl's number (near 100% since she is a secretary and they have to pick up phone calls).
In the future, do everything to impress the secretary not the boss. a job is just a job, but a bang is worth a million bucks. You can even skip the interview to chat with the secretary if needed.
That's my advice.
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I've never understood people who habitually or compulsively lie. Not saying this is you though.
You probably picked the worst way to connect . Having said that, she sounds like a bitch for saying she hates science right after you say that you study Biochemistry, so she deserved it. Still, way to kill your own self-interest.
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On September 04 2013 02:49 Subversive wrote:I've never understood people who habitually or compulsively lie. Not saying this is you though. You probably picked the worst way to connect  . Having said that, she sounds like a bitch for saying she hates science right after you say that you study Biochemistry, so she deserved it. Still, way to kill your own self-interest.
I think it's the difference between being a 8 and being a 9.
When you add that extra little flair to your normal mundane life, that flair aka lie or embellishment, suddenly elevates your own perception of yourself and possibly is conveyed to the other person.
Or: Deep dissatisfaction with a person's current state of being. So when asked, they alter the truth.
As for me, I don't think I'm a compulsive liar, but possibly a habitual one.
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What if this whole blog is a lie?
IS YOUR MIND BLOWN?
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Lie Lie miss american pie. Lies are good actually, prevents "wars" and makes other people good. Good for people who cant handle the Truth.
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On September 05 2013 19:15 ninazerg wrote: What if this whole blog is a lie?
IS YOUR MIND BLOWN?
lol
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