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It was 7:17 when Rock woke up this morning. Rock feeling a bit hungry, but then he remembered that he was inanimate object.
Time passed, and Rock became suspicious. He sees shady neighbor John walk to get his mail and toolbox next door. Only, NO MAIL! John cuts across lawn, stepping on Rock’s best friend, Grasshopper. But Rock calls him Asshopper as joke. Rock feel bad for this and tries to cry, but can’t because Rock inanimate object.
Suddenly, shady neighbor John walks up to Rock. Rock tries to flee. Is not very effective. After five minutes of fleeing, John picks up Rock.
“Rock hopes John take key out of ass” Rock says. “Key been stuck many winters”. But Rock knows. Rock knows John will not find key. For who would stick key in Rock other than crazy neighbor Jeff? Perhaps if Jeff ask, Rock will hide on top of key. But Jeff forceful. He jam key in Rock. Rock feel violated.
All of a sudden, John covers Rock in paper sticky note.
“Rock can’t see! Rock can’t see!”
Shady neighbor John throw Rock through second story window. Blood everywhere!
Rock lay on floor, dying.
“Rock too young to die!” Rock says.
Suddenly, Asshopper burst through window, guns blazing.
“Save me Asshopper” Rock shouts.
Asshopper takes off top hat and monocle.
“Ahhhh, Paper! Rock’s only weakness! Is no surprise Rock needs help.”
Asshopper jump down from window, but land in paper shredder.
“Noooooo!” Rock says.
As Rock lay in mysterious pool of blood, Rock think back to parents. How he let them down. Rock knows they didn’t approve of Rock becoming keyholder. “Keyholder for bums” they say. Rock mad at this. Rock show them! Rock no bum!
Rock started charging power level. Rock check, still 0. Not quite 9000 yet. Shady neighbor John comes in and throws Rock back out window. Only thing that went through Rock’s mind as Rock flew through air was “Oh no, not again.”
But Rock land safely on Jeff windshield. Jeff take Rock off windshield and place Rock next to Asshopper, back from dead again.
“Asshopper!” Rock says. “You back from dead again!”
“Rock! I’m here for save you!” Asshopper says. But victory speech cut short from Shady neighbor John’s foot.
“Noooooo!” Rock says again.
As day nears end, crazy neighbor Jeff picks up Rock and places near door. Rock lonely though. Rock lose 3 friends in one day, all Asshopper. But Rock knew deep in Rock’s core that Asshopper would be back tomorrow...
 
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On August 10 2013 05:58 Chairman Ray wrote:
Is there going to be a part 3?
On August 10 2013 06:04 ComaDose wrote:
from the pov of the rock i hope
I honestly didn't think you'd be able to pull it off.
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very unrealistic.
a rock cant think. 1/7
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All of a sudden, John covers rock in paper sticky note.
OH MY GOD YOU DID IT
YOU ACTUALLY DID IT
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I am very pleased 
Now. My only question. Why is it that these 3 individuals are all on the same exact sleeping pattern???
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On August 17 2013 07:05 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:OH MY GOD YOU DID IT YOU ACTUALLY DID IT
Lol shit, good catch there.
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On August 17 2013 08:24 FallDownMarigold wrote:I am very pleased Now. My only question. Why is it that these 3 individuals are all on the same exact sleeping pattern???
John's spying on Jeff as he wakes up, so he's not exactly on the same sleeping pattern as Jeff.
As for Rock and Jeff, coincidence?
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Asshopper's House incoming!!!!
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LOL the moment i saw the title i thought "NO HE DIDN'T?!?!"
Oh yeah you did.
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On August 18 2013 15:02 Chairman Ray wrote:
Asshopper's House incoming!!!!
Not so sure I'll do an Asshopper's House. But I think I will continue the series.
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Epishade were you born in the year of the troll? Very few people are born in that year. It is said that when they come of age they will bring many joy to the world and many sorrow to the evil uptight people's tribe.
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What about John's house? What's that guy's deal?
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You should do Jeff's house. Not from the perspective of Jeff, but rather Jeff's house.
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On August 19 2013 12:16 BisuEver wrote:
What about John's house? What's that guy's deal?
John's just a creep.
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On August 20 2013 00:04 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On August 19 2013 12:16 BisuEver wrote:
What about John's house? What's that guy's deal? John's just a creep.
What's life in John's house like anyway?
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On August 20 2013 03:34 BisuEver wrote:Show nested quote +On August 20 2013 00:04 Epishade wrote:On August 19 2013 12:16 BisuEver wrote:
What about John's house? What's that guy's deal? John's just a creep. What's life in John's house like anyway?
Well, when John isn't busy breaking into Jeff's house, or spying on Jeff in his secret kitchen room, he's most probably dead.
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Since there's three asshoppers, can you make their perspective into an epic trilogy?
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On August 20 2013 08:51 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
Since there's three asshoppers, can you make their perspective into an epic trilogy?
Pshhhh. Who said there were three Asshoppers?
You didn't think that paper shredder could rip through Asshopper's abs of steel now, did you?
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On August 20 2013 10:23 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On August 20 2013 08:51 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
Since there's three asshoppers, can you make their perspective into an epic trilogy? Pshhhh. Who said there were three Asshoppers? You didn't think that paper shredder could rip through Asshopper's abs of steel now, did you?
I STILL WANT A TRILOGY
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hue! i just found this and feel obligated to comment and tell you i appreciate my wish coming true and you did a fine job. 5/5
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EPT
