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Apologies for the wall of text, this has been running around my head all day and I couldn't fall asleep until I got something down.
A fair few people have a group of friends from childhood that just kind of stick around in life; not in any terribly significant fashion, but you spent enough time together as kids that you'll never really shake them. I am fortunate enough to have three. We all grew up within a few blocks of one another, went to elementary and middle school together, drifted during high school but did managed the semi-regular night of chemical indulgence during college.
Only one of the three did I ever really keep in regular contact with, he would keep tabs on the other two and report back the generic male run down: occupation, relationship status, general location. It was through this friend that I learned one of the more chemically inclined individuals had seemingly succumb to his vice of choice which happens to be drugs.
Now everyone has their vice, be it: alcohol, drugs, gambling etc etc, and that is neither here nor there. If you like it, you're not ruining your or someone else's life over it by and large it isn't my place to judge. I myself smoke cigarettes, and probably enjoy a night of drinking a bit more than your average bear but I am generally kept on the straigtish and narrow.
The aforementioned friend, began using in high school. Not one of us were precisely angels in this respect, but mulling over the situation what separated John (I suppose I'll call him) from the rest of us was the company he kept after high school.
Freshman, Sophomore year all of us over indulged, no parents, friend with a fake and a phone number of a guy who can hook you up. I moved abroad Junior year, and fell out of touch with the one who would keep me updated.
During that time, John moved into a house with four, much more brazen users. I say user in that none of the other guys really had a drug of choice, it was just which drug was on the menu on any given evening. Never being one to be left out during our childhood this was probably a poor choice on John's behalf.
I came back, and spent a bit of time with John. Seemed to be drinking a bit much, smoked a bit too much given I expected to find him trying to relinquish his career in the custodial arts having completed his degree (How I'll never know.)
At the same time my regular contact with the group had fallen rather silent, only later would I find out it was due to his own efforts to quit the bottle. He had sought help for his alcohol issues, and generally cut ties with John and company when Meth and Heroin came into the picture.
Now one of the four, aforementioned brazen users/roommates had already been placed in out patient treatment when his parents found out about the drugs, another pretty much just left on what was described to me as an adventure with delusions of being the next Hunter S. Thompson. It got back to me that the remaining roommates we all still hanging out, but to use John's own words, "...were only smoking heroin."
A fine distinction to the occasional weekday drinker like myself.
For reasons unbeknownst to me, that little distinction made some modicum of sense at the time. In hindsight I think I just didn't think that someone I had known would get into that mess, suppose a, "no needles," motto was sufficient though in the back of my mind I knew it was a fucked situation.
Over a few weeks, I kept a closer eye on the situation at this house, while reconnecting with my recently sober friend. The seemingly inevitable news came my way, that needles had made it into the picture.
While we weren't sure of what we were going to do, we laid out a general idea. First was to confront him. Then again he had "sobered up," his own way before and look where that got him.
Second, was to tell his parents. We are young enough that this seemed like a viable option, beside the point none of us have the time or money to put the kid into a decent facility on our own.
Finally we settled on an ultimatum: You're going to meetings. One fuck up, guess who still has the number of your parent's house memorized?
That happened today. Actually as I was writing this I got a call about how the meeting went. Described as sweating, obviously showing signs of detoxing, and looking like something out of Requiem for a Dream I was surprised he even made it to meeting number one.
It is not an ideal situation, nor is it really fixing the issue here. He will relapse and we know it, this isn't something you kick by going to nightly meetings. I guess we just wanted to give him one last chance to own up to his choices to his parents.
Heroin deaths are up in my state, and it makes me a bit nervous. My girlfriend has told me she isn't sure why we are getting as involved as we are. She has a point, it is uncharacteristic of me to do things like this.
The best answer I had was, that I'd like to think if I had made similar choices, that someone that had given a shit about me at some point and time for however little time would at least make an effort to kick my ass in the right direction.
New number on speed dial, and I am almost looking forward to dialing it. I just don't want to go to this kid's funeral.
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Hard to help someone in that situation, they can pretty much only help themselves.
Often it's best that you don't even comment on the drugs, make it only about the issues he is having in life ( he will have to understand that they are related to his drug use himself)
*edit
I knew someone who did a lot of coke, I just told him straight he looked like shit, and that I was worried for his health. He seemed genuinely receptive to that attitude, rather than telling him how bad snorting a ton of coke is, because he already knows that subconsciously.
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Rat him out, heroin is chemically addictive and requires prescription drugs to quit. Every gram he takes puts him closer to a life long of addiction, and some ppl even die from detox if its done without professional help.
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On July 31 2013 13:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
Rat him out, heroin is chemically addictive and requires prescription drugs to quit. Every gram he takes puts him closer to a life long of addiction, and some ppl even die from detox if its done without professional help.
Yeah, literally he is going to need methadone. There really is no "natural detox" from meth or heroin considering how chemically addictive the two are. Don't just have him go to nightly meetings, it's time to take him to a detox clinic and have him sweat out the month long torture there. It'll be worth the cost.
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51464 Posts
It's nice to know you are helping him, i mean like you said if the roles were reversed you would be glad your mates would help you try and kick it.
Hopefully you will beat this for him but who knows, Heroin is the hardest drug to kick but, people have beaten it. Most famously being Russel Brand a crazy english comedian who was taking everything for years but now is clean. Still completely fucked up but atleast clean
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On July 31 2013 14:33 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2013 13:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
Rat him out, heroin is chemically addictive and requires prescription drugs to quit. Every gram he takes puts him closer to a life long of addiction, and some ppl even die from detox if its done without professional help. Yeah, literally he is going to need methadone. There really is no "natural detox" from meth or heroin considering how chemically addictive the two are. Don't just have him go to nightly meetings, it's time to take him to a detox clinic and have him sweat out the month long torture there. It'll be worth the cost.
I agree with these guys
but good on you for trying to help him mate, you really are a good friend / person.
Good luck and i hope he manages to off the stuff.
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Push the button. Call his mom.
If you want to do something, do it now. No sense in telling his mom "I knew about it for ages, but I never got around to telling you".
At most you will hurt his pride, possibly the friendship. But considering he's doing heroine there won't be much left of that anyway.
glgl
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I think you are being over intense into that, i mean unless the guy is living in a crack house and doing absurb levels of meth everyday.
From what i saw in your post, he is living with 3 other guys, has finished his art degree, and you wanna call the police, parents and get him into detox meetings. Maybe i don`t know the context but this seems rather extreme.
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On July 31 2013 23:08 Darkren wrote:
I think you are being over intense into that, i mean unless the guy is living in a crack house and doing absurb levels of meth everyday.
From what i saw in your post, he is living with 3 other guys, has finished his art degree, and you wanna call the police, parents and get him into detox meetings. Maybe i don`t know the context but this seems rather extreme.
The state of his house is general filth with paraphernalia, read needles, laying about every where. Not too far off from Mother Superior's in Trainspotting tbh. I am not interested in calling the cops on him, I don't think withdrawing in a federal facility is the way to handle it, add on top of but he isn't exactly dealing with a friendly, suburban dealer who grows poppy in the backyard to get the stuff.
Ideally we would like to avoid any charges, but this isn't the kind of habit you just quit because you want to. I don't know of anyone in the group that qualifies as a weekend warrior. At this point it is more damage control than anything.
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You are doing a good thing. It may not be the perfect solution, it is and will probably be very taxing and exhausting for you, and it is likely that you will be very disappointed by the outcome. But nonetheless, you're doing a good thing.
Maybe your kick will tip the scales in his favor. Maybe your actions are what makes the difference in the end. Maybe not. You tried your best, that's all you can do. And much more than most people do.
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On July 31 2013 14:33 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On July 31 2013 13:19 GoTuNk! wrote:
Rat him out, heroin is chemically addictive and requires prescription drugs to quit. Every gram he takes puts him closer to a life long of addiction, and some ppl even die from detox if its done without professional help. Yeah, literally he is going to need methadone. There really is no "natural detox" from meth or heroin considering how chemically addictive the two are. Don't just have him go to nightly meetings, it's time to take him to a detox clinic and have him sweat out the month long torture there. It'll be worth the cost.
Yeah and methadone isn't enough. YOu need behavioral therapy, support groups, rehab, etc... calling his parents is the right thing to do. Just know that he will probably flip a shit and tell you that you guys fucked him over or something. Just know that is 100% false
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EPT
