EPT[Whine Blog] All my friends are married - Page 2
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writer22816
United States5775 Posts
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scypio
Poland2127 Posts
On July 07 2013 08:11 MountainDewJunkie wrote: Well it's kind of pounded into our heads from the moment of birth that marriage and kids are what we are supposed to do, so there's a bit of a drive and (initial) satisfaction from accomplishing these feats. It's also a well-established, but usually reckless, assumption that people who aren't married by age X are, dare I say, "defective." There's something wrong with you! You should be married by now! You've seen people act this way before. So think of your nosy friends as both predictably judgmental but also like you enough to "help" you be normal. Normal. Normal. Normal. "Get married and get kids" is a nice meme to have from an evolutionary point of view. We are shaped by our genes and our memes. There is little you can do about your genes, but the way your mind works - that is one different thing. The process of shaping involves many things - our parents in the first place, than all the different things we may encounter in kindergarten, school, university traditional and social media, churches and so on. When the right time comes (reed: in the teens) we have to face a hormonal activity increase that makes flipping tables much easier. At that time it is simple to reject some things we have learned as a kid and adapt others that hang around at the moment. Certainly there are more opportunities to do this, still this one stands out. And people just do it. They replace the "get married and get kids" meme with the one that says "marriage and kids suck (and I won't be forced by the society to embrace them ever)". This meme is actually pretty successful in all across the western culture, with the number of marriages going down, number of divorces skyrocketing and birth rate at << 2 per woman. This meme synergies well with some other ideas that are on the rise. The more you dislike the idea of having kids the more you like the idea that they should require great responsibility and sacrifices. If you can impose them on the foes that go alongside the "let's get married and have babies" route then the memes you like will be more likely to survive and find themselves another host. You have a lot of time to fine-tune and spread these ideas as you do not have to put in all the hours required to do otherwise. I think it is tougher at the other side of the road. You have to put thousands hours into building up your relationship and bringing up your children. At this time you are constantly pressured to do more, commit more, sacrifice more. You do all that only to wake up one day and find out that all the time you spent changing diapers someone else spent building up and promoting the ideas that state that this is one of the worst things in the universe... and enforcing them. And by enforcing them I mean writing them "making them the law". This is how it ends... or maybe this is how it begins: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/ban-childrens-books-depicting-traditional-families-gender-stereotyping-says/ Being "normal" and bringing up "normal" children gets tougher every second.. Today - if you look behind the scenes- you find out that teaching your kids that having a stable and loving family is no longer cool. And tomorrow... teaching that will be no longer legal. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32097 Posts
there is a reason 50% or so of marriages end within 5 years, and that a majority of high school sweethearts fall apart. does it work for some people? absolutely, and maybe a couple of your buddies defy statistics and work out long term. but there is also about about zero percent chance that all 8 of your friends will be in that same spot in five years. at least a few of those people settled because they were too scared to see what else is out there, or maybe were genuinely in love, but will come to realize that the kid you fell in love with at 18 is not at all the same person you know at 25 or 28. tripping out that you havent found someone marriage material after 7 serious relationships is silly. knowing that you're not desperate, and that you have enough self value to wait until youve found somene that genuinely makes you happy instead of conforming to society's wishes for you to be married is not a problem in the slighest bit. also, i dont think you should get bent out of shape if your friends say they know someone that might be interesting. that is harmless | ||
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10344 Posts
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sc2superfan101
3583 Posts
I like married people because they are always either bubbling or bitchy, and either way it's entertaining as hell for the outside observer. | ||
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paddyz
Ireland628 Posts
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Burrfoot
United States1176 Posts
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Fumanchu
Canada669 Posts
On July 08 2013 05:56 MountainDewJunkie wrote: And let's be fair, I'm not too confident you are intimately aware of their entire dating lives, nor do I believe the whole "did nothing and landed pretty girl" story. Do your friends describe to you ever great effort they've made for a woman? I doubt it. I certainly don't tell my friends everything about that kind of stuff. Shit's private. Ya it's a fair enough assumption. For all I know, my friends asked out hundreds of girls that said no before their respective wives said yes. And as for my brother, well, he really did do nothing. Now, he was friendly, he spent time with her, and I imagine he flirted with her. But from what SHE herself told me, he never made a definitive move. And after a year, she got frustrated and decided to make something happen. | ||
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