To say he is large is not sufficient, he needs to enter the bus by the larger exit in the middle, he cant get in by the front. I peek out my window sometimes and I observe this person move in his garden very slowly, he barbecues everything above an open fire. I've seen him with living chickens at times, that eventually gets killed and they acquire a hue above that open fire, and he eats them, sometimes many. He recently purchased a small knee deep pool that he lays around in, sometimes all day. First time I saw him in it I thought he had drowned, he was just laying there for hours. He doesn't seem to work, but he has money, that is clear, his house is big and there's always something new on his lawn, like his ride on lawn mower, which he cant use because he is so fat. I saw a man use it once, I haven't seen it or the man since.

Sometimes I climb over the fence to his house, I run around on his lawn and explore. I steal what I can. I have his barbecue tools right next to me at this moment, I will return them where I took them in a month and see how he reacts in the morning when he does his usual ritual of getting a fire started at 11am. He keeps that fire going to about 10pm, when he roasts those last chickens and eats all those plates of rice with hot sauce.

I have so much to tell but this is a start

ComaDose

Canada10357 Posts

June 26 2013 18:13 GMT

have you ever spoken to him?
sounds gross.

prplhz

Denmark8045 Posts

June 26 2013 18:33 GMT

Dude

Don't steal

shizaep

Canada2920 Posts

June 26 2013 18:36 GMT

Yeah, why would you be such a douchebag and steal his belongings? Doesn't sound like this guy has every tried to harm you. Makes you seem like a major dick.

Chairman Ray

United States11903 Posts

June 26 2013 18:43 GMT

Dude, you stole his barbecue tools. That's like stealing a pro gamer mouse. Not cool man.

OmniEulogy

Canada6592 Posts

June 26 2013 18:45 GMT

I feel like this is supposed to be describing something else but I'm just not getting it.

Roe

Canada6002 Posts

June 26 2013 18:54 GMT

I guess because he's fat and weird it's ok to steal his stuff...

MarklarMarklarr

Fiji226 Posts

June 26 2013 18:54 GMT

Hm, I didn't enjoy the man killing and eating so many chickens and keeping a fire going near twelve hours a day every day!

MarklarMarklarr

Fiji226 Posts

June 26 2013 18:55 GMT

On June 27 2013 03:54 Roe wrote:
I guess because he's fat and weird it's ok to steal his stuff...

Yes you are right my thought exactly.

freeshooter

United States477 Posts

June 26 2013 19:31 GMT

#10

Interesting... have you talked to him at all instead of just stalking him? What prompted you to begin stealing from him?

PassiveAce

United States18076 Posts

June 26 2013 19:41 GMT

#11

lol why did you jack his shit?

PassiveAce

United States18076 Posts

June 26 2013 19:42 GMT

#12

On June 27 2013 03:55 MarklarMarklarr wrote:

Show nested quote +

Yes you are right my thought exactly.

fukin lol

Chairman Ray

United States11903 Posts

June 26 2013 19:54 GMT

#13

What happened to the man that rode the mower? Did he get eaten?

AnachronisticAnarchy

United States2957 Posts

June 26 2013 20:14 GMT

#14

On June 27 2013 03:55 MarklarMarklarr wrote:

Show nested quote +

Yes you are right my thought exactly.

Your thought is pretty stupid.

MarklarMarklarr

Fiji226 Posts

June 26 2013 20:22 GMT

#15

On June 27 2013 04:54 Chairman Ray wrote:
What happened to the man that rode the mower? Did he get eaten?

I imagined he rode off with it, stealing it. I would have at least.

MarklarMarklarr

Fiji226 Posts

June 26 2013 20:24 GMT

#16

On June 27 2013 05:14 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:

Show nested quote +

Your thought is pretty stupid.

what? I'm like the new edward snowden

sorrowptoss

Canada1431 Posts

June 26 2013 20:28 GMT

#17

You have a fat neighbour, you're stealing just for the fucks and bragging about it on TL. 5/5 would read again

GettingIt

1656 Posts

June 26 2013 20:45 GMT

#18

Please tell me Fiji isn't filled with morbidly obese people and thieves. Although being a thief is way worse than being fat and eating chicken over a roasted fire.

Iranon

United States983 Posts

June 26 2013 21:05 GMT

#19

On June 27 2013 03:55 MarklarMarklarr wrote:

Show nested quote +

Yes you are right my thought exactly.

You should try having more than one thought.

PassiveAce

United States18076 Posts

June 26 2013 21:16 GMT

#20

Are you going to use use his BBQ stuff or is this just like an experiment?

TheTenthDoc

United States9561 Posts

June 26 2013 22:10 GMT

#21

On June 27 2013 06:16 PassiveAce wrote:
Are you going to use use his BBQ stuff or is this just like an experiment?

I think he's trying to make the guy get some exercise by incurring his wrath.

Chairman Ray

United States11903 Posts

June 26 2013 22:21 GMT

#22

Should hang his barbecue tools up in his tree or something.

Disregard

China10252 Posts

June 26 2013 23:45 GMT

#23

Well you live in Fiji, its pretty hot and there's not much to do.

ninazerg

United States7291 Posts

June 26 2013 23:58 GMT

#24

This one time I went on a cruise to Cape Horn, and a bunch of people were standing by the railing point to something, and looked out and saw a whale breaching the surface, but it turns out that it was just your neighbor.

Burrfoot

United States1176 Posts

June 27 2013 00:04 GMT

#25

Here in the US, you'd be shot like 23 times before you could steal a man's bbq tools.

Shebuha

Canada1335 Posts

June 27 2013 00:32 GMT

#26

Your writing gives off a really funny vibe. "I steal what I can," sounds like you're in a post apocalyptic world sneaking into a bandit camp and stealing shit to survive.

Epishade

United States2267 Posts

June 27 2013 02:20 GMT

#27

I can't stop laughing at this lol.

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