You're trying to make this into some simple formula for "optimal success." Just listen to yourself ""To strike up a conversation and maintain it for at least 2.75 minutes" is something that I didn't really feel was "possible" given 1. my lack of interaction with her previously and 2. the amount of classes that I have left before the semester ends. Any attempt at a conversation would take place in the ~2.75 " This is not how a human actually thinks. You can probablytalk to her if you find out what kind of person she is. SO far you have no idea, you'vejust been observing her in this creepily over attentive way. I know because i used to do this.

Also you sound super pretentious. Just because you are educated and confident in your ability with language and artistic observation or whatever doesn't mean you have to flaunt it as your main personality trait. You're going to piss a lot of people off. If you find a way to get over yourself and wanting to sound "special" or something then maybe you can summon the proper emotions to just be a normal human wtih her.

That said i really enjoyed reading the blog

nbaker

United States1341 Posts

May 02 2013 16:56 GMT

#42

LOL

wongfeihung

United States763 Posts

May 02 2013 17:16 GMT

#43

On April 29 2013 04:52 AiurZ wrote:
~10.75 months ago my girlfriend "broke up with me". We had been living together ~4 years. ~7.85 months ago my ex-girlfriend started dating somebody new. For the past ~10.75 months...

I lost it after this. The approximations combined with decimals, man. Too good.

Avius

Iraq1796 Posts

May 05 2013 22:37 GMT

#44

You remind me of Dak'kon.

Good luck with the girl.

AiurZ

United States429 Posts

May 06 2013 00:18 GMT

#45

@Japhybaby I don't understand, I feel like I am an "actual" human being' but this is the way that I think about this situation. Also I don't feel like I am "observing her in [a] creepily over attentive way" if I am generally paying attention to my professors lecture (I take very detailed notes) and am only noticing these things in a sort of "off-hand" kind of way. I think that I might begin to stray into this territory of "observing [...] in [a] creepily over attentive way" when I begin to notice and comment on things like: the manners in which she crosses her feet under her chair, the frequency of her shifting the manner in which she crosses her feet under her chair, the amount of water that she drinks per sip out of her water bottle both in times where it seems as though she is aware of herself drinking water in a "public area" and times where she seems to be "genuinely thirsty", the kind of paper that she uses ie using a notebook vs. loose-leafed paper, the size of her handwriting, the clarity of her handwriting, the handwriting that she uses to take notes in contrast to the handwriting that she uses for things that she knows she will have to turn in, the frequency in which she turns her head to look at "strange noises" in the classroom ie chairs moving, people talking in class who haven't been in class before, etc., etc., etc. This is not how I feel at all, my emotion is more along the lines of [feeling slightly interested in a person who I think might be interesting, if I had the opportunity to talk to them, or email them, or something] and my level of observation is more like [a passing interest which results in seeing a specific moment with intense detail/awareness].

Re: sounding pretentious I think that my main character traits are "feeling depressed", "feeling anxiety", and "feeling detached" and not things like "confidence in my ability to use language" or "confidence in my ability to make artistic observations"-- I think that in general I have very little confidence in my ability to use language and consider it a weakness of mine (even looking through the comments here you can see people who don't really understand the language that I am using despite my attempts to be as clear as I can; I've had mentors tell me that I have a tendency to "obfuscate" with my language). Also I think that the term "artistic observation" is against my aesthetic in the sense that I don't really believe when I make "observations" that they are "artistic", or that "observations" can be "artistic", and I think that if I made observations with the intent of them being "artistic" that it would be dishonest, untrue, and artificial, where my goal, generally, is to be honest, true, and "not artificial". I think I understand where you are coming from though, I think that in my posts here my tonality is something that can easily be understood as "pretentious" and I feel like it is everything I can do to just say something like, "this is not my tonality, but I understand how you might think that it is," and attempt to explain my tonality as I have done here.

Also as an update I haven't had any significant interaction with the girl who sits in front of me in class yet, I think there might have been an opportunity to but it would have meant that I would have had to waited outside of class for her for ~15 seconds when I knew that she had someplace that she had to go to after class that was important enough to tell the professor that she had to leave class early, and I felt that this wasn't "possible". I have one more class with her (not including the final) and generally feel as though I have done everything I could to create a situation in which interaction was "possible" to little/no avail and that despite any intention of mine in the future that the "universe" will "prevent" me from creating any situation in which interaction is "possible" via any number of contrived circumstances.

Japhybaby

Canada301 Posts

May 06 2013 00:59 GMT

#46

I don't know what made me say the thing about your personality being based on being educated. I just felt like you were speaking and therefore thinking in a tone that was more formal than one would expect in a blog where you talk about someone you are considering a potential partner.It removes personality in an instance where one would hope to see some personality. Maybe you need to think more in terms of your personality?

i didn't mean what you interpreted artistic observation to mean. I was referring to your comments about her reading voice, because she was reading a poem.The way someone experiences art is sometimes thought to portray something of the self. So in this case the art you were experiencing was the poem and whether it "worked" for you. Knowing what "works" is sometimes seen as a status symbol.

I think you're a good writer. It's clear and it has a bit of "pazazz" but to me it feels like a lot of the style is borrowed from someone like David Foster Wallace. I guess those are just techniques and he's the only writer i've read a fair amount of who uses a style and a tone like that (post-modernism but i've never got into that whole thing). too lazy to cite atm. If you haven't read David Foster Wallace i'd definitely recommend Infinite Jest or Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.

Well, too bad the interaction never panned out. Maybe you just need to start going with that impulsive voice ... the kid one that just says "go with it!" and be prepared to deal with failures. That's better than writing these blogs(not to imply that i don't like getting a chance to get into someones thoughts [is that unhealthy?]). Good Luck~

edit- i think i may have projected some of my own creepiness onto you and it just came out. (ew sounds gross)

JWD

United States12607 Posts

May 12 2013 09:36 GMT

#47

totally normal. just go up and say "hey". if she's a cool person then she will be happy to have a conversation with you. it's not weird at all that you have been sitting next to each other in class for a few months (you shouldn't make a big deal of that, so why should she?). you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. you even have the advantage of knowing a common topic of conversation: your professor's goofy dress, or whatever you read last week, or how much you're studying for this class ("so, I was wondering...I spend about 20 hours a day on this class—what kind of work are you putting in?").

3772

Czech Republic434 Posts

May 12 2013 22:52 GMT

#48

Good luck exploring/observing the phenomena of people's behavior.
I guess you should go for it, you never know whether you are going to meet someone as interesting or "worthwhile" again, and it might even work out in the end.

roronoe

Canada1527 Posts

May 13 2013 03:39 GMT

#49

When this many people have issues with your quotations marks, maybe it's a sign to reconsider what you're doing. Just maybe?

HolyExlxF

United States256 Posts

May 13 2013 06:33 GMT

#50

From the way you describe your feelings and observations and the apparent need to clarify "every" "single" "possible" "misconstruction," I think you care too much about what others think of you and your actions/thoughts.

Get more comfortable with yourself. Appreciate who you are as an individual, because there is nobody quite like you in the world. Why should it matter whether or not others "perceive" what you "write" as "different than you individually intend?" If they're confused and they care, they'll ask questions that you can answer. If not, they won't.

In the same vein, being more self-assertive and confident will only ever help with the ladies