well my grades are crap as well and I am doing an extra semester to graduate off with a shitty GPA. A few years ago, I had to restart my uni study because of some visa issues and had to go study somewhere else. My dad bombed me all the time, I was under lots of stress since I was afraid no uni will take me up. I was in my home town, jobless and not studying.
Eventually a uni picked me up and this time I make sure I am happy and cheerful and experience this uni life so much that the previous down time was nothing but a small price to pay for this.
Sure I skip class and get depressed at results, both leading to my poor GPA but I figure that it is more important for myself to remain emotionally positive and happy, while also not affecting my classmate's group assignments etc.
I took up some responsibility in university, try to develop some skills that are not found in books. Don't let people take a pity on you, be confident, know your strength and weakness.
And BE POSITIVE. There is no truth, only perception. The world is how you perceive it to be.
On February 24 2013 05:36 lisward wrote: I received a call last Friday, that I may be kicked out of school. What happened was that, I didn't turn up for one of my exams, and I was repeating that module. I took a medical leave that day, but I submitted the medical certificate late, and they may not let me sit for the exam, and you can't fail a module twice. Every fucking semester I keep thinking to myself that it'll get better but in truth it just keeps getting worse and worse, I can't find the motivation to do anything at all. I talked about this before in one of my previous blogs, the blog specifically on child abuse. I really have no one to talk to and I'm going to seek out professional help on Monday and if I really do get kicked out of school I think its the end for me. Sigh, I've been skipping classes like crazy this semester, because as of late I just wanted to fucking hide in a hole and run away from everyone. Everybody's all like, what the fuck is wrong with your attitude, but I just really can't be bothered, nothing seems to matter when you're unhappy all the fucking time. I just think about my whole life, like what I've accomplished, what happened, and its all just fucking regret and anger, things that I could never control, fear, unhappiness. The only reason I don't give up is in fear that maybe, like if I just end my life, I'll just wake up and have to fucking re-live it like some sort of cycle. As of recent I've been drinking a lot, wishing that I'll get drunk, but I never do, I just get more unhappy, well I'm writing this just after drinking, so yeah. Wish there was a way to get rid of this emptiness.
I can certainly relate... As much as I hate the "it's a disease" cry of modern psychology/psychiatry, it's something that is pretty hard to overcome on ones own. You gotta get help from somewhere. I'm struggling through school right now as well, even with working out, eating healthy, going to bed early etc. I think some people have never felt what it's like to feel nothing but shame and humiliation and hopelessness. The only thing you look forward to is to not be conscious, and death becomes something you yearn for. Even I can't remember what it's like to feel that way when I'm not in it.
On February 25 2013 03:04 Recognizable wrote: Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos?
On February 26 2013 16:06 lisward wrote: Psychiatrist said I had Dysthymia and she wanted to wait a week before decided which course of treatment to take, be it therapy or medication.
If you feel comfortable and in good hands with her and the way she treats you so far then by all means roll with it, she can offer you more help than any single one of us here.
On February 25 2013 01:00 YoruWaAkeru wrote: The opporunity is still there but instead of getting better and improve your life, you just sit there waiting for the change.
Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos?
I see them and they play as a motivational thought when I backtrack in my mind about what I'm doing, and what I'm doing it for. While I have I guess a regular amount of motivation to graduate from college since my mother was the first in the entire family to do so, they do directly change my life.
Hey lisward: I'm speaking from the point of view of a guy in his early 40s. At the end of 1989, when I attended Harvey Mudd College (also Day[9] and qxc's alma mater!!) I was kicked out of school for poor performance.
Let me tell you that it's a blow from which you can recover. In my case, I motivated myself to put effort into the goal of getting back into Harvey Mudd and finishing, and when I returned, my grades were significantly better. College comes at a difficult time for a lot of people and it's worth understanding that you may be in a very different position in a year or two if you don't lose hope.
So, talk to your doctors, family, friends, stay connected, do your best to find a sensible next step, and keep on going. Life is long and there's room to make mistakes and still succeed. You're not a broken person for being unmotivated or depressed, it's just one of life's challenges.
On February 26 2013 16:06 lisward wrote: Psychiatrist said I had Dysthymia and she wanted to wait a week before decided which course of treatment to take, be it therapy or medication.
I would have thought it sounded more serious than that, but good luck with whatever you decide to do. A combination of the two is often most effective.
On February 25 2013 01:00 YoruWaAkeru wrote: The opporunity is still there but instead of getting better and improve your life, you just sit there waiting for the change.
Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos?
I see them and they play as a motivational thought when I backtrack in my mind about what I'm doing, and what I'm doing it for. While I have I guess a regular amount of motivation to graduate from college since my mother was the first in the entire family to do so, they do directly change my life.
On February 26 2013 16:06 lisward wrote: Psychiatrist said I had Dysthymia and she wanted to wait a week before decided which course of treatment to take, be it therapy or medication.
I would have thought it sounded more serious than that, but good luck with whatever you decide to do. A combination of the two is often most effective.
On February 25 2013 01:00 YoruWaAkeru wrote: The opporunity is still there but instead of getting better and improve your life, you just sit there waiting for the change.
Do these videos actually help? Are there people truly unmotivated and suddenly change their life after watching one of these videos?
I see them and they play as a motivational thought when I backtrack in my mind about what I'm doing, and what I'm doing it for. While I have I guess a regular amount of motivation to graduate from college since my mother was the first in the entire family to do so, they do directly change my life.
EPT![[image loading]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbjjf1KDuG1r09h75o1_250.gif)
