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Huuh...
Lately, Michael has not been paying much attention to me, which strikes me as strange as he used to pay a lot more attention to me before. I'm not sure what brought this change on.
But more importantly, something else has been tearing me up for a long, long while.
I'm in love with someone else at the same time. Ridiculous, right? You can't love two people at once...but somehow I do. I don't know if this came about from Michael's lack of attention or not. Ah, but the other person is semi-famous and people would think I love him because of this...that's not the reason at all. I tried to deny it for a long time, "It's just a crush, I'll get over it, he's just cute..." Nope. I'm hopelessly, madly in love, not that he knows. Why? Real reason is I want to take care of him...seriously. Michael knows and is a little jealous, but mostly okay with it. Which I find odd. But there you go.
Here's the question...what should I do? Do I confess? I've only talked to the other guy twice...it would seem so weird. And what would he think about having Michael in the picture?
An old friend once told me he loved listening to me because my life is "better than daytime soap operas". I'm starting to see what he meant. -_-
I know this was weird and ranty, but seriously...what should I do...this has been driving me crazy for too long.
TL;DR: I love two people. One knows this, the other doesn't. I am afraid of my feelings for the one who doesn't know.
 
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Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too?
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On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too?
You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh...
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On December 02 2012 12:27 tMomiji wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too? You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh...
Not really, if you can't elaborate on all the things they do that make you attracted to them, you should either rethink what you call love or rethink if you actually love them. Also thats cheating, js not gonna lie from what I see, you aren't in love, you are infatuated. If you pursue this guy, you lose both michael and probably the guy in the long run since you will find that the really this new guy isn't great. There is the unlikely chance that you find out you two are madly in love and stay together forever, but you pretty much are screwing over michael.
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On December 02 2012 12:27 tMomiji wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too? You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh...
If you can't articulate what you like about a person, it's not love, it's hormones.
The corollary to this is: if you can't [be bothered to) articulate why it's not hormones, it's hormones.
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On December 02 2012 12:34 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2012 12:27 tMomiji wrote:On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too? You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh... Not really, if you can't elaborate on all the things they do that make you attracted to them, you should either rethink what you call love or rethink if you actually love them. Also thats cheating, js not gonna lie from what I see, you aren't in love, you are infatuated. If you pursue this guy, you lose both michael and probably the guy in the long run since you will find that the really this new guy isn't great. There is the unlikely chance that you find out you two are madly in love and stay together forever, but you pretty much are screwing over michael.
This is what's keeping me from it, obviously.
But, I love Michael because he is Michael. Do you understand...? I find it to be something rather profound myself...
I couldn't leave him. It'd be like letting a part of myself die. Unfortunately...I feel the same applies for the other as well.
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On December 02 2012 12:40 khaydarin9 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2012 12:27 tMomiji wrote:On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too? You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh... If you can't articulate what you like about a person, it's not love, it's hormones. The corollary to this is: if you can't [be bothered to) articulate why it's not hormones, it's hormones.
Maybe because I don't really want to tell you all about my personal sex life? Has that thought ever crossed your mind for a nanosecond? Of course not. I asked for advice, not to be told that the relationship I have had for nearly two years isn't based on love.
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On December 02 2012 12:40 khaydarin9 wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2012 12:27 tMomiji wrote:On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too? You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh... If you can't articulate what you like about a person, it's not love, it's hormones. The corollary to this is: if you can't [be bothered to) articulate why it's not hormones, it's hormones.
You have to look at it this way as well. I feel the same about *my* love. I know why I'm in love, what it is that I love, etc. Am I going to articulate that? No, I'm not, because frankly I don't think it's really your business to know the specifics about my relationship. End of story.
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I'm gonna be honest here, you are a girl, and girls see these things in a different light than guys do. I know my girlfriend sounds very similar to you, but I did think about that and I realized that the reason why you haven't is basically everything you said because I've been in a similar situation as a bf. I'm just going to say that the more exposure you have to that person, the more the infatuation grows. I do understand, being in a near 1 year relationship, I get it, but as the guy who has gone through a terrible phase with my own gf due to something like this, it poisons your relationship hardcore. If you don't show your guy why he should continue loving you. You need to remove yourself from the situation or be truthful with yourself, you can love more than 1 person, but you can't be in love with more than 1 person in this day and age.
I'm just going to address the last part of your post addressed to me, you can't feel that way unless your guy and this guy are into a nuevo open-esque threesome relationship where love is equal between the three of you and etc. which everyone knows is utter crap. I think you need to realize that there is a difference between losing a part of you and losing the part of you, you cherish most.
Disclaimer I have to make it abundantly clear I am very, very biased here having gone through a different situation. I don't mean to sound vitriolic tMomijii.
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I've had a friend who loved two guys, she felt neglected by the guy she was originally going out with but after receiving attention from the second guy she chose to end the first one, hate him for neglecting her and has been happy ever since with the second person. The only difference between you and her is the second guy confessed to her.
If I recall correctly she found it hard in the beginning because of her lingering feelings but after spending more time with the second guy she quickly got over the first.
Since you like the second guy, I think you'd be more happy exploring a relationship with him.
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you're confusing your need for attention with a sense of "love".
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On December 02 2012 13:15 MikailCaboose wrote:Show nested quote +On December 02 2012 12:40 khaydarin9 wrote:On December 02 2012 12:27 tMomiji wrote:On December 02 2012 12:22 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Why do you love the second guy? You've only talked to him twice and you haven't really elaborated on why it shouldn't be considered as anything more than just a crush.
While we're at it, why do you love Michael too? You know, it's hard to put into words why you truly love someone...strange, huh... If you can't articulate what you like about a person, it's not love, it's hormones. The corollary to this is: if you can't [be bothered to) articulate why it's not hormones, it's hormones. You have to look at it this way as well. I feel the same about *my* love. I know why I'm in love, what it is that I love, etc. Am I going to articulate that? No, I'm not, because frankly I don't think it's really your business to know the specifics about my relationship. End of story.
On the other hand, if it's a relevant question, dismissing it as "none of your business" can come across as defensive.
OP is asking, "How can I love two different people at the same time?". I think it's a reasonable question to ask, "Well, what's your love based on?"
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Don't be stupid and throw everything away for someone you've talked to twice. Honestly, stupidest thing I've ever heard. If you do it, then you honestly don't give a shit about Michael. Which could be a valid reason, I don't know how things are with you.
I remember reading this somewhere and this thought stuck with me for a long time: Love is not a feeling, it is a commitment. I don't really know how close you and "MIchael" are but you're thinking of trading a lot of familiarity and a lot of trust that you've shared with someone for biological impulses, which will eventually pass anyways. And all you'll be left with another "MIchael."
And the best advice: You can never get good love advice on internet forums.
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It's difficult sometimes to express emotional inclinations verbally, but I recommend that if you don't have concrete reasons for loving someone, and you want to love them, you should think long and hard on the matter and hash out some conclusions, in my opinion. Consider what aspects about them genuinely stimulate your affection and put those thoughts to words as best as you can manage.
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What do you mean by Real reason is I want to take care of him...seriously.
???
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I am happy you decided to share your thoughts with to TL as we are a multicultural and multifaceted community.
I believe what you are looking for is pronounced, "ménage à trois."
Cheers
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Love them both, only have sex with one. Problem solved.
╣ )
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It's not strange, it exists.
But the answer is quite easy, as long as your current relationship is defined by faithfulness - explicitely or not - you don't have to change anything. Like the sir above me said, you can't control what you think, but you can what you do. You just have to clearly see the line accepted by Michael. And not cross it.
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Hey you, I have EXACTLY the same problem at the same time....
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do either, but in my case both of them know about the other. So the thing I'm going to do: Take 2 days off, don't talk to both of them and see who I miss more. Who makes you happy?
You are welcome to PM me, if you have any news on this it might work for me as well.
I'm with you!
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firstly your love sounds needy. How much attention do you need from michael and why are you not able to gain that? Is not it partly your job to earn his attention and his job to help you earn it? It's a team effort.
Secondly, don't be afraid of your love. SUre you might get jealous and hurt over the heart break of unrequited love but man, what else is there to do? "Live dangerously!" -Zarathustra
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EPT
