This will sound REALLY emotional, but hey, I need to vent. Im 24, and I have a bachelors in computer science, but cant find a good job.
I got my liscense revoked 2 months ago. I had a suspended liscense (unknowingly, I forgot to pay a speeding ticket and i moved so i never got the letter in the mail -- THen drove my brother home after he drank too much, got tagged for driving with a broken headlight, with a suspended liscense = revocation)
So, I got hit with a 2500$ fine. I got 11 days of Sentence to Service (Mowing lawns to pay off your tickets) given i didnt have a good job/no money for 2-3 months prior. I then got a job at best buy at geek squad, so im NOW making money. But we moved farther away, where bussing is TERRIBLE and I no longer can visit my GF except once or twice a week, tops. Im out here in the middle of no where, with my "main friends" who i hang out with a lot living downtown. (In MN we have the cities, then suburbs, but its not very populated) So our bussing sucks. I cant even get to work from my house, at all. And I only now am making money. I was in debt since I have college payments, and didnt have a job for 3 months. Now i make 12$ an hour, and work a ton, but im playing "catch up".
Anyway. My girlfriend moves downtown with a friend. My main friends moved downtown. So i dont get to see ANYONE besides when i work. Then i get a ride home, and sit at home playing sc2/gw2. So im really, really lonely. She has a hard time noticing her phone has a message, and even when she talks shes not a very "open" person. If i were to open up to her, she doesnt "get it" and comes across as cold. Which im fine with 90% of the time. But not tonight. Im really lonely. and shes going out with some gay friends to have fun, and I cant go. And when i visit, she has to study, and basically we eat, she studies while i look online on my tablet, then we have sex and go to bed. Sounds dumb. I know. But i love her, and dont want to lose her. Been with her like 1.5 years. And going to move in together after he lease is up in april.
But, back on topic, I have to finish my STS. Then i have to do 1 more day or pay 250$, then i can get a "work liscense" and can go from home to work. Im hoping I can be allowed to go to her house AND my house with the liscense from work.. I really hope i can. I need to be able to see her more.
But even then, im limited by using my moms/brothers cars to see her/get to work. Which is shitty. Because i dont have enough $ to buy a car, and even when i do, im sure insurance will be super expensive anyway.
Im really sad that im lonely, and she doesnt quite understand that, and i dont really want to whien to her, since its pressure she doesnt need. And idk what to do. I cant get to her, And idk when i CAN start getting to her more, but dont want to lose her. And dont want to be a whiney bitch. lol.
I just have to vent, i guess. And idk wtf to do. Im so stressed with work making me close almost every night, and not having a car/lisence quite yet to be able to see her when i want.
Terrible format, I know. But im quite sad atm. And im not really thinking straight enough to be able to format things correctly. My mind is everywhere >.>
Maybe you need to learn how to enjoy yourself when you're alone? It wouldn't solve all the problems you have but that's the first thing came up to my mind when you complain about not being able to see your friends and gf as much as you would like. So basically, find new hobbies other than playing video games to lighten things up a bit (manga, books, movies, sports, etc.)
Edit: or learn something interesting during your free time such as this cause I did that.
On September 30 2012 14:46 brachester wrote: Maybe you need to learn how to enjoy yourself when you're alone? It wouldn't solve all the problems you have but that's the first thing came up to my mind when you complain about not being able to see your friends and gf as much as you would like. So basically, find new hobbies other than playing video games to lighten things up a bit (manga, books, movies, sports, etc.)
I mean. I do enjoy myself, to a point. But im talking 10 days where I go to work, get a ride home, sit at home playing a game, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Ive tried other hobbies. But sports isnt as fun when u watch them alone. And I dont like reading/manga... And dont know many options for doing things alone in the middle of no where. :O
On September 30 2012 14:46 brachester wrote: Maybe you need to learn how to enjoy yourself when you're alone? It wouldn't solve all the problems you have but that's the first thing came up to my mind when you complain about not being able to see your friends and gf as much as you would like. So basically, find new hobbies other than playing video games to lighten things up a bit (manga, books, movies, sports, etc.)
I mean. I do enjoy myself, to a point. But im talking 10 days where I go to work, get a ride home, sit at home playing a game, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
Ive tried other hobbies. But sports isnt as fun when u watch them alone. And I dont like reading/manga... And dont know many options for doing things alone in the middle of no where. :O
Let's see how many options we have: + Japanese Gaki no sukai (one of the funniest show you can find, it can prob keep you occupied for another 3 months): http://watchgakinotsukai.blogspot.com.au/ + Change your type of games. Stop playing repetitive games (such as sc2) and start playing more "one-shot"? games like Mass Effect/Final Fantasy. It makes you have something to look forward to after a long day of work due to the progress of the story of the game, while sc2 is just plain laddering days after days. This can be replaced by books/or any TV shows. + Work on some random project (such as drawing or composing musics, building card towers, anyting etc.) + Learn something new, you'll never get bored from your progress in learning.
Basically try something that you can have something to look forward to every single day. I can't help you finding it since your hobbies clearly aren't similar to mine.
You could download some roms and play some games online with people. There's this emulator that allows for netplay and direct ip to ip play with a friend you know. It's called project64k.
Another thing that I do in my spare time is to learn Japanese. Think about where you wanna travel or what culture you like the most then maybe learn the language so you can visit there and communicate! You could also easily start going for daily runs or workout routines.
use your free time to work on your software development skills.. You're young and you have a degree that is desirable for high paying entry level jobs. You can get at least $45k with your degree and no experience. Look for junior developer jobs seeking 0-3 years experience and apply to all of those. Relocate and dump your girlfriend if she doesn't want to or can't come with you
"Open source experience is a plus" means they are going to ask you to show them something you worked on in the past. If you have never worked on open source then just be ready to talk about a college project you worked on or something
Sounds like getting a social hobby could work wonders for you. Why don't you join a football team or w/e where you get to spend some energy in a social environment?
Sounds like you don't just want to get a hobby or stop being lonely or have enough money to pay for shit, you legitimately want to feel better about yourself. But you're basing who you are and your self-worth on your education and what job you have and how much money you make. You have to get to the root of the problem, getting a hobby or doing something that'll make your brain feel numb for a while isn't going to solve your problems. You do whatever you set out to do, it might be fun for a few minutes or a few hours, but after you're done doing it, you have to go back to the reality of your life that you just described. Running away from your problems or keeping yourself distracted long enough to temporarily forget about them isn't going to make these thoughts go away. Either you change how you look at yourself or you do something to get yourself to a better place.