EPT(sigh).......
My dad had always been a super smart student, super intelligent, extremely hard worker, basically a genius. He graduated valedictorian of his high school, and was a tennis star. He went to MIT and eventually became a computer systems specialist and manager of his own IT company. So my dad was basically a big shot.
On the other hand, my mom was a terrible student, went to a state college, majored in communication and political science, and was always more interested in art and music and politics than science and technology. By her own admission, she was more into partying than studying at college.
My dad is 13 years older than my mom. When she graduated college at 21, my dad was already a successful entrepreneur at 34. Apparently, my dad was a brilliant guy but socially awkward. And lonely. He had never been on a date or even held hands with a girl, but one of his friends told him to hit the local bar on weekends.
Basically what happened was my dad went to a bar and saw my mom dancing on the tables half naked, and it was love at first sight. My mom already had boyfriend(s) so my dad bought her a drink and proceeded to tell her about how he was super smart and super rich and super nerdy and how he wanted to get in her pants (ok maybe not that last part).
Long story short, my dad got drunk and had a one night stand with said slutty girl, but the girl was interested in his innocence and his bank account because her previous boyfriends had been jerks and used her. And because she needed money. So my mom wanted to use my dad. My dad was super inexperienced in all this, so apparently he forgot to pack a condom in his wallet. Well, that was the (not so sublime) reason how I came to exist.
My mom got pregnant and my dad urged her to get an abortion because if her boyfriend found out my dad was afraid his life was in danger. My mom said that she had never been with a man like my dad before, and even without his money, she thought he was a gentleman and had a pure soul. Being the great father that he was, my dad decided to pack his bags and move to a different city, leaving his unborn kid behind. He would start life fresh in a new place, away from all the sins he had committed, away from the shame that he would bring his family and professional life.
Little did he know that my mom was hot on his tracks. My dad decided to relocate to Cincinnati in his upscale BMW, and my mom followed him on the highway in her old beat up Chevy. So, two young and lost souls looking for a little action would eventually settle down and become star crossed lovers and start a family and live happily ever after right?
Wrong. My mom kept saying how much she loved my dad, but she mostly loved his bank account. My dad was weak minded and obviously only liked my mom because she was "attractive". So these two people found themselves together, but for all the wrong reasons. That isn't any kind of environment to raise a kid.
My parents proceeded to divorce, then get back together, then divorce again, then get back together again. Apparently, my mom was seeing some other guys but she kept coming back to my dad; while my dad never got tired from feeding his ego by having a beautiful wife. I never asked my dad what his thought process was, but if I did, it would probably be something like this..."I achieved everything I wanted to in my life, I was a genius student, I got a great job and made good money, why shouldn't I have a good comfortable life and spend it with a trophy wife?"
Honestly I don't think my dad even cared if my mom loved him or not, because she was usually there to give him company whenever he wanted, and I guess that was enough for him. Enough for him to sacrifice his soul and dignity and self-respect and his hard earned money. My mom would always say how much she loved him but I could see right through her act. She was never really all that happy to be with him, but she did what she had to do to keep him happy and make her son happy.
I could tell that she cared more about me than she did about him. I guess she saw a part of herself in me. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I can see my mom's face in my own face. She wasn't a good cook, but she made sure we never went hungry. My dad never forced her to get a job, but she worked at Macy's part time to give us a little extra money, and because she was bored sometimes. My brother came into this world a little later on, and I could finally see that my parents DID love each other, sure they got into arguments and fights, sure they didn't always see eye to eye, but in some strange way they complemented each other like 2 totally different pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
As you can imagine, when I was born, my dad's parents were not delighted. They were amazed my dad could make such a poor decision, in their eyes. But if there's one thing I learned from my dad, it is to never give up. And never settle for what people expect you to do. My dad always knew what he wanted in life, and he went out and got it. Period. He was a guy who was almost no talk and all walk. That was his style and philosophy in life.
So, somehow, my parents have been together now for over 20 years.
It isn't a textbook marriage or relationship by any means, but they made it work for them. And they made sure, in their own ways, that me and my brother would turn out all right.
This isn't a fairy tale, it's a story of how two totally different kinds of people could come together and be strong and tough it out through the hard times and fall back on each other during the good times. It's a story of how two seemingly different people could give up a little part of themselves to make the other person happy. It's a story of how two people who thought they had nothing in common could show each other that they weren't so different after all.
My parents don't have a fairy tale relationship, they have a REAL relationship
Thanks for reading.
