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If you went back in time...

Blogs > Shady Sands
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Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-29 07:16:36
August 29 2012 06:42 GMT
#1
Let's say you could step into a portal which would transport you to any location on Earth, four hundred years in the past. Let's say that the portal could ship you and, say, 20kg of stuff back with you, and you had 1 month to prepare. Where would you go, what would you send back, and why?



What I would do:

Where to go:

What is now Shanxi Province, China

Prior to going:

Train for 1 month, make sure I can do a 10km run with full kit, climb walls, etc. and am also vaccinated for measles, mumps, rubella, smallpox, cholera, and polio
Also read up on medieval Chinese, make sure I could speak basic phrases with reasonable fluency
Study up on my Confucian sayings and politics of the time period

Here is a catalog of what I'd grab:

Weaponry (6kg)
--Rifle cleaning kit (0.5kg)
--Ruger Mini-14 (3kg) -- rugged, lightweight, easy-to-clean semi-automatic carbine with scope and acceptable 200yd accuracy on a man-sized target
--160 rounds of 5.56mm ammunition (2kg) -- preferably the 55gr high velocity version, but 69gr is acceptable; both can penetrate 5mm of steel plate, thicker than most 16th century steel armors
--20 autoinjectors/syrettes loaded with potassium cyanide (0.5kg) -- for "natural" deaths

Clothing (3kg)
--black colored clothing (1.5kg) -- do not want to go in naked
--large backpack (0.5kg) -- the more rugged the better
--lightweight hard-sole mocassins (1kg) -- durability is not an issue since I can get shoes in that timeline from local sources

Protection and movement (2 kg)
--non-digital wristwatch, a topographic map of the region, handheld magnetic compass with altimeter, and binoculars (1kg)
--40 autoinjectors/syrettes loaded with streptomycin (1kg) -- to protect myself against the bubonic plague and tuberculosis

Books 'n stuff (8.5kg) - unless noted otherwise, should be in both English and Chinese
--manuals on how to efficiently smelt steel (0.5kg)
--manuals on how to find and mine coal (0.5kg) -- coal should be abundant in Shanxi
--manuals on how to manufacture shaped metal items out of simpler machine tools (0.5kg)
--book on how to maintain and manufacture bolt-action infantry weapons (1kg) -- why bolt action? easier to maintain, also eases strain on supply lines due to reduced ammo consumption; English only
--book on how to build, operate, and maintain a steam engine for locomotives or steamships (1kg) -- English only
--manual on how to lay steel rails (0.5kg) -- Chinese version included so railways themselves can spread far and wide to allow faster movement of invading armies
--book on basic civil engineering and construction materials (concrete, mortar, etc.) (1kg)
--manual of basic organic/inorganic chemical manufacturing formulae (0.5kg) -- for high explosives (nitroglycerin, TNT), chemical/incendiary weapons (e.g. napalm, mustard gas, nerve gas), and methamphetamines (for trading and motivating infantry); should be lots of feedstock via coal and coal tar byproducts; English only
--manuals on how to manufacture and operate simple rifled artillery (0.3kg) -- should be short--will likely rip the pages out of the applicable book; manufacturing in English only, the rest in Chinese for ease of training
--manuals on how to better till and farm the soil; manuals on how to make chemical fertilizers and pesticides (0.5kg); again, via coal tar byproducts
--manuals on basic geology; how to find and refine top 20 industrial minerals (0.5kg); English only
--maps of large deposits of vital 20 minerals within East Asia (0.2kg); English only
--manuals of telegraph construction and operation (0.5kg); English only
--manuals on basic 20th century battlefield medicine (0.5kg); want this in Chinese for ease of training medics
--list of all 1612 ming dynasty military/political leaders, their names, ages, rough appearances, political leanings, and ultimate fates (basically were they likely to be executed? any officials that could be saved for personal use?); English only
--list of the above, but for the Manchus; English only
--list of all 1612-1650 battles and likely outcomes (three lists together, 0.1kg); English only
pencil, notebook, eraser (0.1kg)
--list of all major weather and solar/lunar events in East Asia from 1612-1622 (0.1kg) -- this one is to establish credibility as a prophet, if necessary
--manual of medieval Chinese phrases with English translations

Misc (0.5kg)
--Basic potable water and foodstuffs (0.4kg)
--A cigarette lighter (0.1kg)

This rounds out 20kg.

No need for armor or a knife, since will likely trade for those.

The plan is to land in Shanxi and build up a network of coal/iron mines, smelters, and steel part factories. Then, slowly build up capacity and production lines for infantry weapons and rifled artillery. When the time is right, incite a rebellion (by assassinating the right local officials and using weather knowledge to paint myself as a prophet) and arm a peasant army with bolt-action weapons and said artillery, march on Beijing, utilize the pre-existent population density and social organization of Ming China to impose order upon the world with railroads, steamships, and rifled artillery.

What would you do?

**
Что?
Dirkzor
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Denmark1944 Posts
August 29 2012 07:14 GMT
#2
You spend way to much time hanging out with that brain of yours. Btw 10 kg /= 20 kg. =)

"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ON TOP AGAIN???? HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS????" -Julmust (also, thats what she said)
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:16 GMT
#3
On August 29 2012 16:14 Dirkzor wrote:
You spend way to much time hanging out with that brain of yours. Btw 10 kg /= 20 kg. =)



Thanks for catching that.
Что?
SupaChicken
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia273 Posts
August 29 2012 07:22 GMT
#4
I'd go around carving messages on various monuments, written in modern English, just to mess with archeologists.
I need a new quote...
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:24 GMT
#5
On August 29 2012 16:22 SupaChicken wrote:
I'd go around carving messages on various monuments, written in modern English, just to mess with archeologists.


Why think so small? Why not change history in a grand way?
Что?
Dirkzor
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Denmark1944 Posts
August 29 2012 07:27 GMT
#6
Who said someone didn't pull a prank with the pyramids? (We still don't know how they built them - right?)
"HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ON TOP AGAIN???? HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS????" -Julmust (also, thats what she said)
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:29 GMT
#7
On August 29 2012 16:27 Dirkzor wrote:
Who said someone didn't pull a prank with the pyramids? (We still don't know how they built them - right?)

lol. quite true.
Что?
haduken
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Australia8267 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-29 07:31:21
August 29 2012 07:30 GMT
#8
Very much doubt you can do that. During Ming China, Shanxi is a frontier country against Mongolian/Nomad invasion, you probably get stabbed / shot on site, (Yes. Ming had proto-guns)

Source: GF was born in DaTong, back in the days, it was a military fort.
Rillanon.au
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:34 GMT
#9
On August 29 2012 16:30 haduken wrote:
Very much doubt you can do that. During Ming China, Shanxi is a frontier country against Mongolian/Nomad invasion, you probably get stabbed / shot on site, (Yes. Ming had proto-guns)

Source: GF was born in DaTong, back in the days, it was a military fort.


Again, the point is not to go in shooting, but to go in peacefully, and build up the capacity wage war over a number of years. Uncooperative local officials can simply be silently eliminated with the syrettes of potassium cyanide.
Что?
mdb
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Bulgaria4059 Posts
August 29 2012 07:36 GMT
#10
What to do - go to Woodstock
Where - USA in the 1960s or 1970s
What will bring - A lot of weed
Reason to go - to smoke weed, have sex and listen to some good music
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:37 GMT
#11
On August 29 2012 16:36 mdb wrote:
What to do - go to Woodstock
Where - USA in the 1960s or 1970s
What will bring - A lot of weed
Reason to go - to smoke weed, have sex and listen to some good music

What if you ended up having sex with your mother (or grandmother) on accident?
Что?
Empyrean
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
17009 Posts
August 29 2012 07:38 GMT
#12
So you manage to advance China's technological capability only for it to destroy itself due to internal strife 200 years later.

Happens all the time in Chinese history.
Moderator
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:40 GMT
#13
On August 29 2012 16:38 Empyrean wrote:
So you manage to advance China's technological capability only for it to destroy itself due to internal strife 200 years later.

Happens all the time in Chinese history.

Would it not be better for China to destroy itself after the glory of bringing the shining light of civilization to the rest of the World rather than before?
Что?
mdb
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Bulgaria4059 Posts
August 29 2012 07:46 GMT
#14
On August 29 2012 16:37 Shady Sands wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 29 2012 16:36 mdb wrote:
What to do - go to Woodstock
Where - USA in the 1960s or 1970s
What will bring - A lot of weed
Reason to go - to smoke weed, have sex and listen to some good music

What if you ended up having sex with your mother (or grandmother) on accident?


Not possible, because they live on another continent. But your mother...thats a real possibility
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:47 GMT
#15
On August 29 2012 16:46 mdb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 29 2012 16:37 Shady Sands wrote:
On August 29 2012 16:36 mdb wrote:
What to do - go to Woodstock
Where - USA in the 1960s or 1970s
What will bring - A lot of weed
Reason to go - to smoke weed, have sex and listen to some good music

What if you ended up having sex with your mother (or grandmother) on accident?


Not possible, because they live on another continent. But your mother...thats a real possibility

Not possible, she was in China at the time.
Что?
fire_brand
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada1123 Posts
August 29 2012 07:50 GMT
#16
I probably wouldn't go back in time. No SC2, crappier medic care, more racism, more bad shit. I like 2012 thank you very much.
Random player, pixel enthusiast, crappy illustrator, offlane/support
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 07:55 GMT
#17
On August 29 2012 16:50 fire_brand wrote:
I probably wouldn't go back in time. No SC2, crappier medic care, more racism, more bad shit. I like 2012 thank you very much.

But so much more opportunity for influence, and changing the world, no?
Что?
surfinbird1
Profile Joined September 2009
Germany999 Posts
August 29 2012 08:12 GMT
#18
The question is if you can actually change the future by going to the past or only some alternate timeline. I'm no expert but things like the grandmother paradox seem difficult to reconcile.
life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 08:13 GMT
#19
On August 29 2012 17:12 surfinbird1 wrote:
The question is if you can actually change the future by going to the past or only some alternate timeline. I'm no expert but things like the grandmother paradox seem difficult to reconcile.

Fuck the grandmother paradox, you have a Mini-14 and books that tell you how to make napalm, artillery, and battleships
Что?
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
August 29 2012 08:42 GMT
#20
Imagine how awesome of a video game premise this would be. Take 20kg of shit back into 16th century somewhere, and begin carving out an empire
Что?
heha
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Australia425 Posts
September 11 2012 10:12 GMT
#21
Learning medieval Chinese in a month... Well I suppose it's possible, but surely eventually you'd get outed as a foreigner for not knowing say... local dialects of the time, or local customs. I suppose just pretend you're from another province??
Random for life! phoneheha
Shady Sands
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States4021 Posts
September 11 2012 10:34 GMT
#22
On September 11 2012 19:12 heha wrote:
Learning medieval Chinese in a month... Well I suppose it's possible, but surely eventually you'd get outed as a foreigner for not knowing say... local dialects of the time, or local customs. I suppose just pretend you're from another province??

Yep, would make a ton of sense if I pass myself as a prophet too.

Come to think of it, this would make an amazing historical fantasy game. You start by picking 20 kilos of stuff, pick a place on Earth, and go back to change history.
Что?
Geiko
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
France1939 Posts
September 11 2012 11:56 GMT
#23
You could save a lot of weight and bring a lot more knowledge by packing a kindle or iPad or whatever rather than plenty of books.
Of course you'd need some sort of photovoltaic device for power.
geiko.813 (EU)
EffervescentAureola
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
United States410 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-09-11 14:48:10
September 11 2012 14:41 GMT
#24
I would go back to the day before 9/11 and, using super advanced alien technology, construct an invisible shield to collide with the hijacked planes, so the American people would call me the hero from the future. Then I could be rich and famous and bang hot babes.
Endymion
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States3701 Posts
September 11 2012 14:45 GMT
#25
i would go to 1800 and have sex with jane austen
Have you considered the MMO-Champion forum? You are just as irrational and delusional with the right portion of nostalgic populism. By the way: The old Brood War was absolutely unplayable
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
September 11 2012 15:18 GMT
#26
I personally wouldn't want to go back in time

I'm a future/technology person, i wanna see what the future is like!

I wanna play virtual reality MMO's and holodeck experiences etc.
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