Crazy twist.

Unfortunately you do not want to be involved with a woman like this, as sad as this is. Not sure the best way to proceed forward for you, but it is the correct course.

AnachronisticAnarchy

United States2957 Posts

July 01 2012 05:14 GMT

#23

Well you weren't lying when you said this is a peculiar problem. This is just bizzare.
Probably best to leave the relationship.

don_kyuhote

3007 Posts

July 01 2012 05:18 GMT

#24

wow scary world.
thats why you dont just have sex with random person you meet,

mordk

Chile8385 Posts

July 01 2012 05:46 GMT

#25

On July 01 2012 13:08 Entirety wrote:
I just talked to her and told her that she seemed particularly interested in sex. That's when she suddenly broke down in tears and hit me with her life's sob story.

Her mom had AIDS (currently deceased). Her father has AIDS. It was transferred to her at birth, so she has AIDS. Her curiosity for sex was because she won't get to experience it.

Wow, I'm at a total loss for words, I don't even...

Oh my god

Completely unexpected result

I guess you know what to do, but be nice to her about it

bibilisk

France44 Posts

July 01 2012 06:04 GMT

#26

sad story, feel bad for her, but how do u know she wont get to experience sex? there are a lot of couples that one has aids and the other doesnt get it

Arcanefrost

Belgium1257 Posts

July 01 2012 09:39 GMT

#27

Wow, that's rough.

dakalro

Romania525 Posts

July 01 2012 11:40 GMT

#28

What, talking about sex isn't some weird thing, just weird for you I suppose. Sounds more like funny comments.

And yeah, these kinds of girls end up being the most fun partners for sex - if they're sane that is.

FractalsOnFire

Australia1756 Posts

July 01 2012 14:03 GMT

#29

I find it sad that people think sex is evil and must be avoided until 'the right time'.

As for her AIDS, can't do much about it. Be nice, don't ostracise her.

Entirety

1423 Posts

July 01 2012 16:54 GMT

#30

Yeah I'm just going to support her as well as I can.

Holy crap, I never expected something like this. Wow, seriously, meeting someone with AIDS can really change your life.

Jestalt

United States28 Posts

July 01 2012 18:14 GMT

#31

Okay forget what I said. DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER.

Abort mission. Get the fuck out. Nothing to do here. Eject.

She actually can have sex though. It's possible to have sex with her without the AIDS transmitting to her partner, although I wouldn't risk it unless you're seriously involved with her (as in marriage.)

FryBender

United States290 Posts

July 01 2012 18:22 GMT

#32

This almost doesn't seem real but in case it is you seem highly uneducated about what AIDS/HIV actually is. So you should educate yourself on that first. HIV is a virus infection which can be transmitted through sexual contact. AIDS is a disease in which your immune system is destroyed. You can not contract AIDS through sexual contact. HIV if not controlled will eventually cause AIDS. Today HIV is a chronic condition and while it requires a lot of medication it can be kept under control for a very long time where your viral load can even be below detection levels. If she has AIDS then she most likely does not have long to live as the body simply can not fight off even the simplest bacterial or viral infections. If she has HIV she can live a long and relatively normal life. Sex is possible as long as you're careful and she can even have children through iv fertilization and a cessarian delivery can ensure that the child does not contract HIV. Since it sounds like you're both children I'm going to guess that she will not be your eventual life partner but the least you can do is tell her to not despair.

Again I am highly skeptical of this whole story but whatever; the information here is no less true even if you're just having fun.

Servius_Fulvius

United States947 Posts

July 01 2012 19:08 GMT

#33

On July 01 2012 14:12 Salv wrote:
Crazy twist.

Unfortunately you do not want to be involved with a woman like this, as sad as this is. Not sure the best way to proceed forward for you, but it is the correct course.

That's not true. Only OP can set the best course for himself.

Anyway, "coffee dates" are pretty low commitment. It doesn't sound like OP is head-over-heels in love or anything, and she'd probably not either. From her perspective, she probably wants to have as normal a dating life as anyone else, save some extra modifications for safety. It can't feel good to have guys run away at the very mention of a permanent condition. If OP would date the girl otherwise then he still should.

LaSt)ChAnCe

United States2179 Posts

July 01 2012 19:38 GMT

#34

she's how old?

DeepElemBlues

United States5079 Posts

July 01 2012 20:25 GMT

#35

AIDS drugs are pretty good these days, combined with condom use you can reduce the chance of transmitting it to the point where you shouldn't worry about it happening at all.

BUT

Still definitely don't have sex with her. What she needs is a lot of emotional support at a very intimate level and unless you want to have a super-duper-serious relationship with her... the craziness that having sex with her will cause is not worth it.

Otolia

France5805 Posts

July 01 2012 20:42 GMT

#36

For fuck sake, man up put a condom and enjoy sex. Don't listen to those sheeps who are telling you not to enjoy yourself. As long as you don't stick your tongue in any holes except the mouth, remember to wash yourselves after sex and put have a good quality condom ALL THE TIME, you should be fine.

TL community, you should be ashamed of propagating lies like this. This kind of alienation really pisses me off.

bibilisk

France44 Posts

July 01 2012 22:20 GMT

#37

otolia its you the shame, you dont get aids if u "stick your tongue" in the holes except if its bleeding as hell, and why are you saying "wash yourselves after sex" does it have anything related to aids? u seem pretty ignorant

serge

Russian Federation142 Posts

July 01 2012 22:28 GMT

#38

On July 02 2012 05:42 Otolia wrote:
For fuck sake, man up put a condom and enjoy sex. Don't listen to those sheeps who are telling you not to enjoy yourself. As long as you don't stick your tongue in any holes except the mouth, remember to wash yourselves after sex and put have a good quality condom ALL THE TIME, you should be fine.

TL community, you should be ashamed of propagating lies like this. This kind of alienation really pisses me off.

If I could rate comments I'd give you 5/5. Some of these posters are total party poopers. Wear like 2 condoms and you'll be fine.

DRTnOOber

New Zealand476 Posts

July 01 2012 23:07 GMT

#39

I don't know the official stance on having sex with you have HIV but it's entirely possible with a condom. Do some research, find out what's safe and what's not. As a male if you urinate after sex it generally kills off anything that might have entered your body (you can't rely on this but it's known to help). The only way fluid can enter you and infect you during sex (unless you have open wounds) is because when the semen is released it creates negative pressure in the urethra and some fluid is "sucked" up inside you. Male urination contains antiseptic chemicals, which is how it helps after sex to kill off any foreign bodies.

In saying that I'm not a medical professional, just talk to someone who is and find out the real deal.

Entirety

1423 Posts

July 02 2012 04:55 GMT

#40

Guys, I'm not going to fuck her. Condom or no condom.

I think there's a misunderstanding here... it's not that she feels deprived of sex. She feels deprived of what sex represents - a partner for life (no one-night stands), raising a family, holding her baby child. She doesn't want a one-night stand (like I said, she has "high morals"), she wants a family. This is probably my fault, I left out a lot of details, didn't feel like typing them all out.

FryBender, I'm not sure of the details, she did not go in-depth into her conditions. She was mostly talking about her life and her dreams. That said, I THINK (I can't be sure) that her father had HIV, her mother got HIV from her father and her mother's HIV developed into AIDS. During birth, HIV (presumably) was transferred to my friend. I don't think my friends has AIDS because she seemed to be in decent condition (AKA not worrying about her life every waking minute). I'm sorry about any inaccuracies, I wasn't in the mood to worry about such distinctions.

By the way, I'm sure you guys can find alternative means of pregnancy so that she can raise a family despite having HIV. She's not interested in that either... she doesn't want to pass it on. "Let the disease die with me" sort of mindset

Anyway, the shock is slowly disappearing. I don't know if I overreacted or not, nothing like this has EVER happened to me before. I found out why she was so interested in sex, she wanted to understand everything about it so she looked it up in books, etc. and became more curious. No, I am not interested in the best way to bang her without contracting HIV myself.

I'm not in love with her either, she was an acquaintance and I think I can call her a friend now. I never had thoughts of getting into a relationship with her.