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Human contender in mortal-kombat-like tournament

Blogs > reapsen
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1 2 3 Next All
reapsen
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Germany559 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-30 12:41:10
April 30 2012 12:30 GMT
#1
Hi TL,

i just saw this movie review and it got me thinking.

Who would earth send to a interplanetary fighting tournament right now?

To clarify this, let me lay down the rules:

- The tournament happens in 6 month from this day. That would be the time the fighter has to prepare.

- The tournament is weapon-free body combat. It is fought with minimal to no protection. Small fingerless fighting-gloves or feet protectors are allowed though, if the fighter wants to wear them.

- The aliens that will fight in the tournament can be assumed to be in a basic human-shaped form, i.e. have a torso, a head and 4 limbs. Proportions of these may vary though.

- The maximum weight of a fighter must not exceed 200 kg / 441 lbs. Below that no weight classes exist.

- Fights happens in boxing-ring type of arena. In rounds of 5minutes with a 1minute break in between. They can end in surrender (tapping out), knockout or even death. No point-system bullshit.

- "Dirty fighting" is allowed. As it is unkown where the weakspots of each alien race are, there are no forbidden hitzones. Whatever you think are weakspots (eyes, crotch, small limbs, etc.) you are good to go for these. The only thing the referee looks for is one of the losing conditions mentioned above.

- At stake is humanities freedom. All losing species must serve the winner as slaves for a decade until the next tournament.


So now the main question: WHO WOULD WE SEND?
You may name one fighter and one stand-in, if one gets injured during training or so...

Okay, to make it more fun, you can name two pairs of fighters:

Pair 1: Must be alive and non-fictional, i.e. actual real fighters of now. One Fighter, one Stand-in.
Pair 2: Must only be non-ficitional. No "Son-Goku" or "Dr.Manhattan" bs please

**
Grovbolle
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Denmark3813 Posts
April 30 2012 12:38 GMT
#2
Can we only consider people who are alive?
Lies, damned lies and statistics: http://aligulac.com
reapsen
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Germany559 Posts
April 30 2012 12:41 GMT
#3
Look at my edit @Grovbolle
dragonsuper
Profile Joined October 2010
Liechtenstein222 Posts
April 30 2012 12:41 GMT
#4
Jean Claude Van Damme
lol
HwangjaeTerran
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Finland5967 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-30 12:44:46
April 30 2012 12:44 GMT
#5
Would something change if we lost?

I'd send some psycho killer. OD him with all the drugs before the match.
https://steamcommunity.com/id/*tlusernamehere*/
Grovbolle
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Denmark3813 Posts
April 30 2012 12:46 GMT
#6
Does it have to be in their current form?
I mean Chuck Norris was pretty badass back in the days.
Lies, damned lies and statistics: http://aligulac.com
Spicy_Curry
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States10573 Posts
April 30 2012 12:46 GMT
#7
obligatory chuck norris
jean claude van damme as stand in
High Risk Low Reward
Reuental
Profile Joined July 2009
United States457 Posts
April 30 2012 13:03 GMT
#8
Bruce Lee, only viable choice.
I'm a Crab made of men.
GTR
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
51550 Posts
April 30 2012 13:17 GMT
#9
GSP.
Commentator
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-30 13:21:51
April 30 2012 13:19 GMT
#10
It's tough. What you would want to do is take a bunch of top athletes including the UFC heavyweights and give them the best performance enhancing drugs combination known to man. It would probably end up being Alistair Overeem who would have the best chance of winning but then again, if someone like Lebron James has any natural fighting skills, he has the athletic qualities necessary, he could get to about 260-70 of lean muscle, and hurt some aliens.

Basically no UFC fighters or boxers under heavyweight would be able to cut it, they would be destroyed by a 300lb+ alien like Goro. Although I do think a fighter like anderson silva or floyd mayweather might be good enough and accurate enough to strike any weakpoints and fast enough to escape.

But to be honest, to design a fighting creature, humans are in the bottom 1 percentile for earth. An angry 140 lb chimp could destroy any human on the planet and rip them limb from limb.
Artifice
Profile Joined May 2010
United States523 Posts
April 30 2012 13:19 GMT
#11
I'd send myself and just bank on the fact that all aliens will melt when I pee on them. A stand in wouldn't be necessary because pee training isn't very dangerous.
Mr. Wiggles
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Canada5894 Posts
April 30 2012 13:29 GMT
#12
On April 30 2012 22:19 sc4k wrote:
It's tough. What you would want to do is take a bunch of top athletes including the UFC heavyweights and give them the best performance enhancing drugs combination known to man. It would probably end up being Alistair Overeem who would have the best chance of winning but then again, if someone like Lebron James has any natural fighting skills, he has the athletic qualities necessary, he could get to about 260-70 of lean muscle, and hurt some aliens.

Basically no UFC fighters or boxers under heavyweight would be able to cut it, they would be destroyed by a 300lb+ alien like Goro. Although I do think a fighter like anderson silva or floyd mayweather might be good enough and accurate enough to strike any weakpoints and fast enough to escape.

But to be honest, to design a fighting creature, humans are in the bottom 1 percentile for earth. An angry 140 lb chimp could destroy any human on the planet and rip them limb from limb.

Hey, that's actually a good idea, let's just send in a Gorilla or Orangutan and claim it's a person. The aliens will never know the difference. :p

Also, how would we train these people? This is a deathmatch, right? So that implies that fighting styles would have to be adapted to be able to make best use of there actually being no rules. I don't know much about fighting styles though, so maybe someone else should make suggestions.
you gotta dance
VirgilSC2
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States6151 Posts
April 30 2012 13:45 GMT
#13
[image loading]

Seriously, how can you NOT send Tom Cruise?

It's a win-win situation really, plus I'm sure he knows more about the aliens than anyone else.

You can send this guy as his stand-in.
[image loading]
Clarity Gaming #1 Fan | Avid MTG Grinder | @VirgilSC2
Slayer91
Profile Joined February 2006
Ireland23335 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-30 14:00:20
April 30 2012 13:56 GMT
#14
On April 30 2012 22:19 sc4k wrote:

But to be honest, to design a fighting creature, humans are in the bottom 1 percentile for earth. An angry 140 lb chimp could destroy any human on the planet and rip them limb from limb.


You sure about this? I mean, your average office worker who does no exercise sure, but any trained extremely strong anf fit human? More intelligent and more experienced and trained in fighting I can't see why the chimp would be stronger, or at least strong enough to beat a trained fighter in combat.
Grovbolle
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Denmark3813 Posts
April 30 2012 14:41 GMT
#15
On April 30 2012 22:56 Slayer91 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 30 2012 22:19 sc4k wrote:

But to be honest, to design a fighting creature, humans are in the bottom 1 percentile for earth. An angry 140 lb chimp could destroy any human on the planet and rip them limb from limb.


You sure about this? I mean, your average office worker who does no exercise sure, but any trained extremely strong anf fit human? More intelligent and more experienced and trained in fighting I can't see why the chimp would be stronger, or at least strong enough to beat a trained fighter in combat.


I think he is talking muscle capacity and fighting skills assuming that the chimp is of equal intelligence.

Lies, damned lies and statistics: http://aligulac.com
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
April 30 2012 14:44 GMT
#16
On April 30 2012 22:56 Slayer91 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 30 2012 22:19 sc4k wrote:

But to be honest, to design a fighting creature, humans are in the bottom 1 percentile for earth. An angry 140 lb chimp could destroy any human on the planet and rip them limb from limb.


You sure about this? I mean, your average office worker who does no exercise sure, but any trained extremely strong anf fit human? More intelligent and more experienced and trained in fighting I can't see why the chimp would be stronger, or at least strong enough to beat a trained fighter in combat.


We aren't a natural built predator. We have to use tools to hunt, unlike animals such as a lion. We didn't evolve to be the fastest and strongest animals alive, we evolved to be the most adaptable. I'd send a gorilla to go fight, the average gorilla has 6-10 times more upper body strength than a human and I'd imagine is much more resilient as well.
Lyter
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United Kingdom2145 Posts
April 30 2012 14:48 GMT
#17
I'd send jaedong to stare some fuckers down
Moliere
Profile Joined February 2011
51 Posts
April 30 2012 14:53 GMT
#18
An intergalactic fight for the future of humanity? Oh, wait... humans potentially can't cut it?

Send the gorillas.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes II.
Shock710
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia6097 Posts
April 30 2012 14:58 GMT
#19
is it fair that its un-armred combat i mean humans main weapon are tools like making stuff, imagine a lion-alien in a gun fight 0_o damn that would be awesome, but yeah probaby bruce lee if it was alive the man practically does nothing but train (well obvsiouly not anymore) this reminds me of AvP where we basically suck....
dAPhREAk gives Shock a * | [23:55] <Shock710> that was out of context -_- [16:26] <@motbob> Good question, Shock!
AKomrade
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States582 Posts
April 30 2012 15:07 GMT
#20
All I see is another reason to learn necromancy to revive Bruce Lee.
ALL HAIL THE KING IN THE NORTH! HAIL! HAIL!
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