EPTI'm not saying that I don't help them now. I'm just a little more realistic about it. Autism is a terrible disorder. It's a ball and chain around every family it affects. The amount of strain it puts on a family is enough to literally drive people crazy. That's why I'm here.
I really don't do much as a substitute. I show up and fulfill a contractual agreement to be with a child and provide one-to-one services. That usually amounts to me sitting in the same room as them, an unspecified distance away, depending on how fast I have to be able to get up, move towards them, and prevent them from hurting themselves or others. Most of these kids are good, and don't need me to step in. For them, the extent of my job description is keeping them on task or helping them do their work. These are the kids that there are hope for. They can learn to blend in to society. These are the same kids that were just labeled as "slow" or "stupid" when I was in school. They can still get jobs as janitors or sandwich artists. Kids in the sandwich artist end of the spectrum are usually easy to work with. All I do with them is kick it and say stuff like "stay on task!" or "what are you working on?" Sandwich Artists are the kids that will live lives of hard, menial labor, doing things that I would never again submit myself to because I've cultivated things like "self-respect" and "personal standards". I would almost rather starve than do the kind of work that I'm training them to do for the rest of their lives. It's not really terrible. How is that any different from working a job you hate for more money? Lots of people waste their lives away doing things they hate because they have no self-esteem, or for whatever reason, really. Money makes people sell themselves out. No, scratch that. People sell themselves out for money.
I like to think that I'm above it. I've done enough LSD to realize that money comes and money goes and it's just a matter of having a plan to accumulate it in whatever amount I need. At some point, I will line myself up to get paid a salary which I deem acceptable to do work I love. All of that is just a pipe dream until I do it, though. Real artists ship.
Steve Jobs said that. He did LSD, too.
This is not my passion. I do not want to be doing this for too long, and neither does anyone else in the field that I've met. Literally all of us are doing it because the money is so good. And it is. The money is 2.5x the minimum wage per hour.
I have a bachelor's degree in the social sciences. This is the highest-paying part-time job I can get. I mean, to some people, it's entry-level, but I really don't see myself doing this for any longer than it takes me to get through grad school. Or whatever comes next. Briefly, I thought about becoming a teacher, but I realized that I valued my time far more than that. If I was going back to school, I was going back for a doctorate, to have a Ph.D. next to my name.
Ah, to be young and a dreamer.
I'm sitting with a sandwich artist as I write this. He's destined for a life of mediocrity, which is a win in my book. That's depressing to some people, but it's one of those things that you come to accept as the reality of the job. Everyone does this. I got used to the reality of putting dogs to sleep when I was a vet tech. Some people get used to the reality of fleecing people for all they're worth. It's just a part of the job. I help kids get jobs at Subway.
That's part of my job description. I had to get used to it. When the realization hit me, I stopped caring emotionally. You just can't let yourself care, or you're going to be depressed. Once you cut yourself off emotionally, it's just about getting paid.
Get money all over again, get money all over again.
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There's so much sex in high school. It makes me flustered and wistful. Those are euphemisms. I want to fuck high schoolers.
No, I'm not a pedophile. Yes, I probably am a pervert. I'll level with you, though. These girls are prime breeding material. My instincts tell me that. I started jacking off a lot more since I began to work with high schoolers. It keeps my libido in check, which is good, because you do really stupid things when you're horny. Humans have very silly laws in place for the greater good of society.
I probably won't break those laws. I like to abide by the laws, ever since I went to jail, but testosterone is a motherfucker. Subjectivity.
Slow down, there, K----.
I won't lie, though. These girls are fucking material. I know it, they know it, and everything about them screams it, from the way they dress to the way they walk to the way they smile at you when they make eye contact. I almost don't get turned on by girls my age because I'm constantly surrounded by younger, more fertile prospects.
Not that I consider them prospects. That's probably the wrong word.
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