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Lately I've been lamenting over my past relationships with women (technically girls, in this case), knowing that had I been a bit more active in attempting to build relationships with them, I wouldn't be lonely like I am now.
One of those was this tomboyish girl from my middle school years. Meh, I was young, really young, and so was she, so it's a bit weird but I always had this little flutter in my heart about her the year I befriended her, which turned out to be my last year of middle school. I had met her my first year there, and found her quite adorable and interesting, but we never talked until she was in my classes my last year.
She was odd, to say the least. Not a normal girl, although looking at her, you wouldn't believe it. I guess her family wasn't too normal either (not in a bad way from what I know, her dad was a musician and writer, very cowboyish) so I guess her upbringing wouldn't produce the average person. She was really into art and was a "minion" of the school's art teacher, constantly skipping classes to work on some murals that went up around the school (one of them covers the staircase walls, although I don't know if it is still there).
She did something rather odd, and cut her hair into a mullet a few months into the year. This made her a laughingstock, and I had no idea why she did it (probably as a joke or maybe rebellion). I never asked too far into it but she just said she hated her long hair, which was gorgeous but she wasn't big on gorgeous.
But I didn't lose interest in her as a result. I still wanted to hang out with her, and I think she responded to that. She started inviting me to skip with her, or at the very least, hang out in the art room during art classes and downtime. Because of my muscular disease, I didn't have to take gym, so I mostly used that time (with permission).
I'm not sure why she hung out with me. We were basically opposites. I was proper, cared about rules and my education, she was rebellious and artistic, disregarding typical rules and not too worried about how people saw her. Maybe it was my open-mindedness? Or perhaps because we both enjoyed anime, although I was still new to it, she had been into it for at least a couple years at that point (she let me borrow her Ranma 1/2 volumes, which got me into manga).
We became good friends and spent a decent amount of time together when we could. I found it kind of awkward, and maybe she did too but I can't really say. We talked a lot about fantasies, about our dreams, video games and different animes. I got her interested in Final Fantasy VII and X at the time, and she really yearned to play them. I also showed her Starcraft and Warcraft, although she was more into Warcraft (she loved fantasy worlds, a big fan of Lord of the Rings books).
One day, randomly after my history class, she walked up to me, pinned me to a wall, and gave me a kiss. I was awestruck and just stared at her as if she was an alien and teleported in front of me. She just looked at me with these big eyes (kind of like in an anime where the reflections wiggle a bit) then skipped off. I was baffled at what just happened, and my buddy that was there just kind of laughed at me (I had black lipstick on my cheek for the rest of the day). I can't even say for sure if she did that because she was hinting at something or if she just had a weird meaning behind it (or wanted to embarass me)...
It didn't really hinder our friendship any, though. We talked a lot still, and she started to even spend more time with me than her boyfriend (they broke up at some point). We would've spent more time at lunch but they separated the genders (on most days, we sometimes had a "reward" day where we could sit anywhere...really odd in retrospect).
Last day of school, she ran up to me and grasped me (she was smaller than I, so her head came up to my chest). It was as if someone died, her face was red and moist and she was sobbing into my chest. She told me she would miss me very much and handed me her phone number, telling me to call her before she moves so we can stay in touch. Of course, I couldn't bring up the courage to do it immediately. Since she was moving, we wouldn't end up in high school together, and I didn't want to forget her and leave her behind. When I finally built up the testicles to call her that summer, I couldn't find the number. I tore my room apart trying to find it, to no avail. Her tears...I feel like I betrayed her...
I got so angry that day.
I'm so sorry...
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That sucks 
Try to find on facebook etc!
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if u know someone's name it's generally not that difficult to find them these days
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On March 18 2012 15:00 ReketSomething wrote:That sucks Try to find on facebook etc!
although I rarely use facebook it is actually how I got in touch with my ex. Excellent way to find people  good luck
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Dont worry. In another life, I would be your girl. We'd keep all our promises, Be us against the world.
+ Show Spoiler +Sorry! I did read the whole thing. It definitely sucks what happened, but I couldnt think of a legitimate response. T_T
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Sweet little story. Too bad about that. GL getting in touch with her.
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On March 18 2012 15:01 travis wrote:
if u know someone's name it's generally not that difficult to find them these days
I have actually tried this.
She doesn't have Facebook or MySpace. I looked up her name, and got some vague links to someone, but labelled as a male so I'm not sure (from what I remember, I think she would probably have done that to obscure herself). She was not a very open person, so it makes sense she is so hidden.
Eventually I started to feel like a stalker and stopped looking.
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Nice read. I enjoy reading the girl blogs :D. Are you a freshman in HS right now?
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On March 18 2012 15:11 jrkirby wrote:
Nice read. I enjoy reading the girl blogs :D. Are you a freshman in HS right now?
No, I'm a college senior. This was about 8-9 years ago.
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nice read
oh man, so you never talked to her since?
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Honestly, getting numbers is a thing of the past. Just whip out your + Show Spoiler +smartphone, and find them on Facebook on the spot.
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That's sad. Reminds me of the movie 5 cm per second. Seeing as how you like anime you should DEFINITELY watch this if you haven't. But you do get reminded that you're different now, she's also much different, and you've lead different lives by this point in time and that it's probably best to move on rather than expect something out of a fairy tale.
Not saying it would be bad if you found her, but just don't expect her to be as you remembered. I stopped hanging out with some friends from middle school but still got to see them around in high school and very few of them remained the same way they were when I used to hang out with them.
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I had this huge crush on this very beautiful artsy girl in high school. She moved to paris to study and when I was in europe I emailed her up with the idea of meeting her some time.
We didn't meet but I saw some pictures and I... oh man. She was not so attractive anymore. Call me shallow but damn. The remnants of my affection misted away like so much evaporating water.
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Damn that sucks. All that and you loss the number. Life's a beach : /
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Oh man, bad luck
There must be so many what-if moments where you wish you had moved in for a relationship
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No offence, sounds like a script from an anime... D: But nonetheless, social networking saves you plenty of hassle!
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oh god
you can ask the school to try to contact her probably. she'll have facebook by now anyway
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On March 18 2012 15:11 RageOverdose wrote:Show nested quote +On March 18 2012 15:01 travis wrote:
if u know someone's name it's generally not that difficult to find them these days I have actually tried this. She doesn't have Facebook or MySpace. I looked up her name, and got some vague links to someone, but labelled as a male so I'm not sure (from what I remember, I think she would probably have done that to obscure herself). She was not a very open person, so it makes sense she is so hidden. Eventually I started to feel like a stalker and stopped looking.
No, travis is right. A name, and an old adress, and you can track pretty much anyone down. I know I used to work as a skiptracer. Any info is helpful, but basic info will get ya what you are probably looking for,
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Ah, come on: there's always a way! Go back to the office of your old school; explain that you're trying to find your old friend and ask if they have a forwarding address on file. Not saying you should expect anything to come from it, or from finding her, but it would be sweet if you could end up finding her after all these years.
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Oh man that was so sad :/ I feel for you. But like everyone is saying, she should have a facebook by now or something. Don't give up. I mean, even if you don't want to talk to her again/meet up with her, just knowing what she is doing/where is she just might help you feel a bit better. It's not stalking :D
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Maybe if you got her into Sc2 she might read this blog? :D
You can always dream, but in seriousness, sounds like a bummer
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On March 18 2012 19:45 Disregard wrote:
No offence, sounds like a script from an anime... D: But nonetheless, social networking saves you plenty of hassle!
None taken! I thought that myself and I think that's pretty cool it sounds that way. Fitting too, considering we were both into it.
On March 18 2012 20:25 Vansetsu wrote:Show nested quote +On March 18 2012 15:11 RageOverdose wrote:On March 18 2012 15:01 travis wrote:
if u know someone's name it's generally not that difficult to find them these days I have actually tried this. She doesn't have Facebook or MySpace. I looked up her name, and got some vague links to someone, but labelled as a male so I'm not sure (from what I remember, I think she would probably have done that to obscure herself). She was not a very open person, so it makes sense she is so hidden. Eventually I started to feel like a stalker and stopped looking. No, travis is right. A name, and an old adress, and you can track pretty much anyone down. I know I used to work as a skiptracer. Any info is helpful, but basic info will get ya what you are probably looking for,
I do have her full name, and there is very little I could gather about about her just through Google. Anything further I found costs a bit of money and I can't really afford it at the time. If I'm missing something then I just am not looking hard enough, but her full name yields only someone in another state that I think could be her but it isn't detailed enough. I have done more research than travis gave me credit for, and it makes me feel uncomfortable digging any deeper.
Also, she has no Facebook or MySpace. I've tried. Her father has one, but there is no trace to her. She simply never took the time or is using a name other than her real one. After some responses on this blog I considered asking her father about her whereabouts, but I never met the man so it's going to be a bit of an interesting conversation.
On March 18 2012 16:55 Itsmedudeman wrote:
That's sad. Reminds me of the movie 5 cm per second. Seeing as how you like anime you should DEFINITELY watch this if you haven't. But you do get reminded that you're different now, she's also much different, and you've lead different lives by this point in time and that it's probably best to move on rather than expect something out of a fairy tale.
Not saying it would be bad if you found her, but just don't expect her to be as you remembered. I stopped hanging out with some friends from middle school but still got to see them around in high school and very few of them remained the same way they were when I used to hang out with them.
Honestly if I saw her again, I really just want to say that I was sorry and be done with it. She probably has a boyfriend (or became a lesbian, who knows) and is on a totally different path. She may hate me or could have even forgotten me. But it's just a regret that I would want to take care of and leave it at that. I don't expect her to be like I remember, she's probably normalized a bit.
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EPT
