80/20 in Thinking/Speaking - Page 2

StarStruck

25339 Posts

March 14 2012 14:33 GMT

#21

haji,

Are you an impulsive person?

I hate throwing numbers. I'm not the guy. All I would take away from this is to try and listen more even if you have 1-10 more things to say until the other person's thought is finished and to hear them out. I used to be and partially still am one of those people too. I've been called everything in the book.

Listening does mean more and most people suck at communicating their ideas and listening when you combine them. There are other variables like mood too, sometimes the other person doesn't want to hear what you have to say and they've already made up their mind. ;o

thedeadhaji

39489 Posts

March 14 2012 15:28 GMT

#22

>Engrishteacher

I honestly don't think that tactic works on people who have a higher awareness of such ploys.

>Starstruck

I no longer really have a problem with cutting people off (the "when" of speaking). I surely still do it, but it's far less pronounced than before an I am conscious of my transgressions when I make them. I think the far greater challenge for me is the "what" and "why" of speaking.

Treehead

999 Posts

March 14 2012 17:51 GMT

#23

On March 14 2012 15:50 thedeadhaji wrote:

(I'm looking at you Treehead, lol)

What can I say - I miss old conversations with philosophy majors... and these days I work with lawyers, accountants and auditors, so.... it's nice to see a deep and less than practical thought every now and then. Your blogs are great for that.

zul

Germany5427 Posts

March 14 2012 18:15 GMT

#24

I`m pretty similar to you in terms of "ideas/things-pop-up-in-my-head-when-hearing-this-and-that" and I have learnt that it`s best for me to force myself to let the person talking right now, finish his speech and then I will respnd. In the end most of what came into my mind as some kind of "flash of thought" won`t matter by the time the other person finished what he was saying and if I was listening carefully, only one or very few points remain important enough to be spoken out. You will see that most of the thoughts are only "kinda" related, but of no specific interest to your interlocutor.

tl,dr: listen - think (throw away all the only "kinda" related stuff") - speak (give the most accurate response possible)

StarStruck

25339 Posts

March 14 2012 20:22 GMT

#25

You lose your train of thought and go off on many tangents because you don't edit yourself.

Gotcha.

Here's an exercise I used to do in a classroom like setting. I fold a piece of paper in half. On the left side I would take notes on what the other person said. On the right side, I would leave my own remarks.

*

I could talk for lengthy periods of time too as everything was up there and I always had a lot to say. By having a visible marker it made things much easier and eventually I didn't have to do that anymore.

thedeadhaji

39489 Posts

March 15 2012 02:08 GMT

#26

On March 15 2012 02:51 Treehead wrote:

Show nested quote +

Somewhat ironic, since I'm an engineer by training.
Perhaps It was against my nature in the first place.

jrkirby

United States1510 Posts

March 15 2012 02:28 GMT

#27

I feel like it depends on how many people you are with. If you are with 4 other people you should be listening 80% of the time. If you are with one other person, you should be listening 50% of the time.

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