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Torte de Lini: Defying Laws of Time Since 2010

Blogs > Bibbit
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Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-10 23:07:40
March 10 2012 22:03 GMT
#1
Anybody who’s visits Teamliquid with any regularity probably know of Torte de Lini at least vaguely. Why ? Because if you’ve made a post here at any point since he joined in September of 2010, Torte probably replied to it. And if he didn’t, you can trust that he either wrote up a response and deleted it or, realizing that his comment was too great, just wrote it on a Post-it and stuck it to his desk so TL didn’t implode. The guy averages 827 posts per day !

Actually that wasn’t true, but lying was the only way to make the real number of 33 posts per day sound even a little bit reasonable. But the really messed up part is that remarkably few of these posts are in Live Report threads. This means that most of those eighteen goddamn thousand posts are real posts and not just subtle variations of “SO MANY BANELINGS !” or “THAT WAS SO SICK !”

Managing to not only read every post ever no matter what but also to comment on all of them is pretty impressive (though your definition of “impressive” may vary) but he doesn’t stop there. As of February 7th of 2012, the guy is the team manager of Quantic Gaming. This means he gets to high-five Naniwa ! But as far as I know, there was no big announcement of this because Torte de Lini doesn’t yell his accomplishments off of high mountains. Instead, he sits back and does his thing while simultaneously choking bears and fending off alien invaders.

“Oh that’s kinda cool but what else does he do or has he done in the past?”

If you do ask that, you’re a bit of a douche, but I’m gonna answer it anyway. According to the wiretap I placed on Torte’s phone, “I founded and organize BarCraft Montreal, I managed VT Gaming, Team Dynamic and now Quantic. I've done over 50 articles for ESFI SC2 and a little of Dota 2 and I also do some casual commentary for Montreal's biggest LAN: LAN ETS. I've helped and founded two major local university StarCraft clubs, one which is funded annually by our student union (Concordia, UQAM's club I help do but I'm not sure how they are now).”

Yes I agree that it was a bit of a weird thing for him to say on the phone to his aunt (citation needed) but you get the idea ! That’s a ton of shit !

“Yeah thats great but I could do the same if I had no school/job and could commit all my time to ESPORTS.”

Okay, hypothetical jackass, you need to stop with the jackassery. But you’re still wrong ! (Bam. Nailed you, fake guy). Torte is a student somewhere (sorry, my stalking is still incomplete) studying sociology while doing all this other stuff.

Currently I have two possible explanations for how he does what he does.
1) He invented some sort of time control device but was too modest to tell the rest of us; or
2) He sleeps 4 hours a day and his day lasts for 35 hours

So cheers to Torte de Lini, one of the unsung heroes of ESPORTS !

Edit: Picture of Torte, courtesy of Blubbdavid
+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
Pictured Above: My Justification for Stalking


+ Show Spoiler [Sources] +
All my information about Torte de Lini comes from my illegal wiretap, from hiding in the bushes outside his house, and from asking him via private messages on TL. Two of those things aren’t true but I’ll never tell which.


****
vOdToasT
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Sweden2870 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-10 22:22:46
March 10 2012 22:09 GMT
#2
You sick asshole. Why did you use an illegal wiretap when you could have just asked him in private messages?
If it's stupid but it works, then it's not stupid* (*Or: You are stupid for losing to it, and gotta git gud)
Antimatterz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States1010 Posts
March 10 2012 22:09 GMT
#3
The two lies are the wiretap and the messages.
"HotBid [11:45 AM]: i dunno i kinda like the big muta shooting smaller mutas out"
XuoriG
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada165 Posts
March 10 2012 22:09 GMT
#4
He studies at Concordia University I think
KSKaleido
Profile Joined December 2011
United States16 Posts
March 10 2012 22:10 GMT
#5
Next you'll tell me he's also GM on KR ladder lol
blubbdavid
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Switzerland2412 Posts
March 10 2012 22:10 GMT
#6
He uses a time-turner. He's Hermione!
Torte you sexy beast
[image loading]
What do you desire? Money? Glory? Power? Revenge? Or something that surpasses all other? Whatever you desire - that is here. Tower of God ¦¦Nutella, drink of the Gods
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24664 Posts
March 10 2012 22:12 GMT
#7
TDL doesn't have a house.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Liquid`Sheth
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States2095 Posts
March 10 2012 22:12 GMT
#8
Torte Fighting~
Team LiquidUnderneath it all they were really quite nice. They just got screwed up. Mostly by stuff that wasn't entirely their fault.
solidbebe
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Netherlands4921 Posts
March 10 2012 22:14 GMT
#9
On March 11 2012 07:10 blubbdavid wrote:
He uses a time-turner. He's Hermione!
Torte you sexy beast
[image loading]


God Torte is pretty damn sexy daaaaamn...!
That's the 2nd time in a week I've seen someone sig a quote from this GD and I have never witnessed a sig quote happen in my TL history ever before. -Najda
ROOTheognis
Profile Blog Joined January 2006
United States4482 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-10 22:15:37
March 10 2012 22:15 GMT
#10
great Quantic manager as well! :D
If you avoid your weakness, it will remain your weakness. www.twitter.com/#!/rootheognis Follow me!
NoctemSC
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States771 Posts
March 10 2012 22:15 GMT
#11
On March 11 2012 07:10 blubbdavid wrote:
He uses a time-turner. He's Hermione!
Torte you sexy beast
[image loading]


Ahahaha. Marry me Torte

In all seriousness, Torte is an awesome guy. How he finds the time and will to do half of what he does is beyond.

To the OP:
Very well written, I like your sense of humor.
http://www.twitch.tv/noctemsc <--Most epic fun times
luckylefty
Profile Joined November 2010
United States272 Posts
March 10 2012 22:16 GMT
#12
He is amazing :D
Ringall
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Finland177 Posts
March 10 2012 22:17 GMT
#13
On March 11 2012 07:14 solidbebe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 11 2012 07:10 blubbdavid wrote:
He uses a time-turner. He's Hermione!
Torte you sexy beast
[image loading]


God Torte is pretty damn sexy daaaaamn...!


I always new it was a safe bet blindly wanting to marry Torte.
Snute fanclub <3 (fan #106 :3 ) | "Bitches know me, I'm Jos 'LiquidRet' de Kroon. I drink, smoke and don't exercize." - Ret | http://bit.ly/GX57En
Steveling
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Greece10806 Posts
March 10 2012 22:19 GMT
#14
Much love for Torte even though you suck at dota, xP.
My dick has shrunk to the point where it looks like I have 3 balls.
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
March 10 2012 22:21 GMT
#15
I always try to read and post in Torte's blog. He usually writes some of the more interesting stuff in the section, although you're usually guaranteed a long read. He's only posted in mine maybe once :\

18000 posts, I have no idea how he does it. Probably because he's made of pasta...all those carbs... And doesn't he go to McGill? (just assuming from Montreal)
feanor1
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1899 Posts
March 10 2012 22:22 GMT
#16
On March 11 2012 07:10 blubbdavid wrote:
He uses a time-turner. He's Hermione!
Torte you sexy beast
[image loading]

Since thats Torte de Lini I am going to assume that you were hiding in the bushes outside the window
VTArlock
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1763 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-03-10 22:32:52
March 10 2012 22:27 GMT
#17
He didn't manage VT Gaming, he was just a staff member. Love the guy none the less.
+ Show Spoiler +
I'm pretty sure he was Mirhi's errand boy

<3

If you want to add a rumors section to the OP it is RUMORED that he has a quad monitor setup with 33 instances of TL open at a time so he can read every post of every thread ever started... AT THE SAME TIME!
Why?
DomiNater
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States527 Posts
March 10 2012 22:28 GMT
#18
Thinly veiled attempt to have Torte finally post on one of your threads?

i kid i kid!
After I captured the elephant in the room, swept her under the rug for the hell of it... I welcome you to the melting through, of a planet that was selfish in its development of a healthy view.
Bibbit
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada5377 Posts
March 10 2012 22:29 GMT
#19
On March 11 2012 07:27 VTArlock wrote:
He didn't manage VT Gaming, he was just a staff member. Love the guy none the less.
+ Show Spoiler +
I'm pretty sure he was Mirhi's errand boy

<3

Torte caught lying to his aunt ?! To Reddit !


On March 11 2012 07:28 DomiNater wrote:
Thinly veiled attempt to have Torte finally post on one of your threads?

i kid i kid!

He's posted in all my threads, and all of your threads, and literally every other thread !
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
March 10 2012 22:30 GMT
#20
I wonder how long it's going to take for him to respond to this.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
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