EPT1) Japanese kids are better at tennis than Federer. Also they have super powers that remind me of Dragon Ball Z. No, I’m not kidding. They start glowing yellow and become able to hit harder/faster, synchronize their minds with their doubles partners, able to copy techniques that their opponents use and predict the future. Some of them are able to see, get ready, the insides of their opponents as well as their skeletons and joints so they know where to hit shots so it’s physically impossible for their opponents to move their body in a way to catch the ball. Fuck yeah!
2) The laws of physics do not apply to Japanese middle schoolers. Here’s a short incomplete list of what to expect from this anime :
-Shots that hit the court, then bounce back towards the one that hit it (without being hit of course) as hard as it was hit.
-Shots that almost hit the court but then suddenly fly upwards without hitting it.
-Shots that disappear.
-Shots that steal the receiver’s senses or temporarily paralyze them.
-Shots that leave holes with huge cracks in cement walls. No I’m not kidding. One character in one of the most recent chapters of the new series randomly launches a few of these shots at the main character when he’s resting after a practice session and it leaves damage to the wall like you’d except a small cannon ball to. I can’t wait to see this dude play a match and kill someone (see further).
-Being able to consistently and purposely make the ball “walk the rope” and land on your opponent’s side
-Shots that send the receiver flying backwards into the air and into walls several meters behind them.
-Shots that always break the receiver’s racquet.
-But the most epic of all: playing with a racquet with only 2 strings is definitely possible. Fuck yeah!
-And many, many more!
3) Trying to murder your opponents is a valid strategy. There are several characters in this anime that are terrible at tennis (in super-human terms anyway). They don’t even try to win with points. They just assume that if they hit their opponent often enough and hard enough they will win. And they do. One of them even has a “special” move where he first hits the railing behind his opponent several times, breaking it in the form of a cross with the railing spikes pointing outwards. Then he hits his opponent so hard that they fly back into the cross of spikes and get impaled. This show is so fucking violent. It seems like every other match they end up full of blood or lose by injury. And the refs are non-existent. As they say, “Not a single fuck was given” that these middle schoolers are trying to murder themselves with tennis.
I like to play a little game called “Could Federer do that?” when watching this anime. Up until like episode 30 it’s surprising that Federer can pull off pretty much all of those shots :
-Twist serve? Check (youtube that shit, kick serve; quite insane)
-Around the pole shots (boomerang snake) : Check
-Buggy whip shot (basically all of Nadal’s forehands) : Check
-Insane dropshots that pretty much don’t bounce : Rarely but check (although Tezuka’s don’t bounce and they roll backwards but what the hell, I’m generous).
-Acrobatic and net plays : Check. Worth youtubing those under the legs winners he pulled off.
-I could list a few more but soon enough it becomes too intense even for the great Federer to follow pace. I think the first IMPOSSIBLE shot is the twist shot… a random hit that send a “kick-serve-like” shot in the middle of a rally (it’s not a smash).
So now there’s “New Prince of Tennis”. I don’t recommend reading the manga for this series as it’s half-impossible to follow. The anime is on episode 5 now and on a weekly schedule (the original is like 180 episodes). It’s pretty awful compared to the original. It’s just as ridiculous, but they pretty much cut the tennis for more exposition. Here’s the plot from how I imagined the author thought of it:
“Ok. I got this. So I’ll take 50 of these insanely overpowered middle schoolers I created in Prince of Tennis right? Then I’m going to throw them all together and have them say a ton of catch phrases and make tons of poses while being a tennis environment but conveniently cut out the actual tennis despite there being absolutely no other plot point. Seriously, I’m going to throw them in a U-17 National team camp, and there’s going to be way better than every high schooler there. There will not be a single scene (70 chapters and counting) outside of this place and nothing will happen beyond catchphrases and power ups (that make no sense). This is going to be FUCKING AWESOME! The money I will make I mean. LOL! Oh and it’s going to be monthly but with like 15 pages per chapter”
The original doesn’t have much plot beyond : tennis, getting better and super powers, main character’s dad being better than god at tennis and main character being oblivious about little girl that follows him around and wants his dick really hard (seriously she’s not even subtle about it).
And yet, it’s still my guilty pleasure. The first 100 or so episodes are pretty fun of the original. After that you just watch it because it’s hilarious. So what the fuck are you waiting for? Go watch it!
