In 3 months I turn 18 and I realize something: I've never had a job, never been in a relationship and I've never travelled far. Though I've always done good in school (I'm asian), always played games and listened to music.
Computer games have been my main, and sometimes only, occupation outside of school. Needless to say I've spent a lot of time on these. If I regret it or not I don't know, but it doesn't matter now, cause I can't change my past, I can only look forward. I used to spend most of my freetime playing games, and during certain periods of my life, I always just wanted to get done with whatever I was doing so I could continue playing. Whenever I was not on my computer, I felt an urge to go back there. I was and am probably addicted.
I still spend most of my time on the computer, though I don't really feel the motivation or urge to play games anymore. I quit SC2 last spring, and haven't really felt like playing since then. When I'm at school, I always just look forward to going home so I can relax at the computer, but once I'm there, I don't really have anything to do. I'm leading a guild in wow, which takes quite some time, and I enjoy it most of the time, but since this is a SC related forum I won't talk about that. I just sit there, browse forums, listen to music, read news, browse forums, listen to music, relax.
I've always loved the late evenings and nights, and I still do. Everything is so quiet, so calm, no worries. Can just play games and relax. As a result I would stay up as late as I could every night, especially during the weekends. I still have this habit despite not really doing much anymore. I stay up till 3-4 AM and wake up at 1-2 PM. During weekdays I only sleep about 6 hours per night. I'm tired a lot of the time, and I think I suffer from sleep deprivation. At school I'm always tired, sometimes to the point where I can't concentrate at all during lessons and almost fall asleep. On the bus on the way back home I always fall asleep.
I watched 5 centimeters per second and The place promised in our early days by Makoto Shinkai.They were both amazingly well done and I enjoyed them both very much. The artwork, the scenery, the music, stunningly beautiful. I've learned how to play the trailer music for 5 cm/s on piano now. You can listen to it here
As for what I will do for the future I don't really know. I'm good at a lot of school-related stuff but I don't feel any passionate about anything of what we do there. Earlier I would sometimes often worry about things that were to come, so I taught myself to only think short-term, and that's what I've done. Now I don't know what or where I want to study, I don't know what or where I want to work. I know I want to visit Japan and South-Korea though, I must go there some day. I also forgot to mention I love the sound of the Japanese language.
It was quite hard to put this on paper. I don't really know why I did it and I might even regret it, but I felt I needed to share with someone. What should I do, where should I go next? If you read it and have any advice, feel free, I'll gladly take it.
also, may I ask what ethnicity you are? Are you a South Korean living in Norway?
I don't think you really need advice. imo you are just restless. you are young adult coming into the world and understanding the vast opportunities it presents. you want to get out there and do something new. not surprising since you are so young and have yet to experience everything the world offers. you have enjoyed gaming for a long time, now you just feel like you want to do something a bit different for a change.
and I am sure you will find a passion for something and understand your purpose in life, you don't have to worry just because you may not know this now. after all, life does not end at 18! You have a lot of time to do everything you wish :D
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: also, may I ask what ethnicity you are? Are you a South Korean living in Norway?
Yes, that's correct. I was adopted when I was a couple months old.
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: you want to get out there and do something new. not surprising since you are so young and have yet to experience everything the world offers. you have enjoyed gaming for a long time, now you just feel like you want to do something a bit different for a change.
You are right, but thing is - I feel I lack the energy, motivation and will to do anything really. It's already hard enough to find the motivation to go to school and do homework (which I most of the time don't do) every day. I think some of it might be cause I'm lacking sleep, which I will try to fix from now on.
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: and I am sure you will find a passion for something and understand your purpose in life, you don't have to worry just because you may not know this now. after all, life does not end at 18! You have a lot of time to do everything you wish :D'
I hope I will, and I know life doesn't end at 18, it's just another phase of it. I suppose I'm also a bit afraid of having to leave my comfort zone to head into the world on my own.
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: you want to get out there and do something new. not surprising since you are so young and have yet to experience everything the world offers. you have enjoyed gaming for a long time, now you just feel like you want to do something a bit different for a change.
You are right, but thing is - I feel I lack the energy, motivation and will to do anything really. It's already hard enough to find the motivation to go to school and do homework (which I most of the time don't do) every day. I think some of it might be cause I'm lacking sleep, which I will try to fix from now on.
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: and I am sure you will find a passion for something and understand your purpose in life, you don't have to worry just because you may not know this now. after all, life does not end at 18! You have a lot of time to do everything you wish :D'
I hope I will, and I know life doesn't end at 18, it's just another phase of it. I suppose I'm also a bit afraid of having to leave my comfort zone to head into the world on my own.
Anyway, thanks for the encouraging words!
Sounds alot like my life, im 19 atm at university I used to stay up late alot but i seem to have cured that now and so im guessing so can you. My advice is just be yourself do what you want to do and hopefully a path will emerge that you can follow.
OMG that trailer is awesome i wanna go watch!!! How did u watch it? through the movies? i dont it has come out in Aus if so, on disk? (with english subs) if so internet site so i can buy? or torrent if so, well i'm sure i can find it by myself ^^
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: you want to get out there and do something new. not surprising since you are so young and have yet to experience everything the world offers. you have enjoyed gaming for a long time, now you just feel like you want to do something a bit different for a change.
You are right, but thing is - I feel I lack the energy, motivation and will to do anything really. It's already hard enough to find the motivation to go to school and do homework (which I most of the time don't do) every day. I think some of it might be cause I'm lacking sleep, which I will try to fix from now on.
On January 28 2012 06:48 Golgotha wrote: and I am sure you will find a passion for something and understand your purpose in life, you don't have to worry just because you may not know this now. after all, life does not end at 18! You have a lot of time to do everything you wish :D'
I hope I will, and I know life doesn't end at 18, it's just another phase of it. I suppose I'm also a bit afraid of having to leave my comfort zone to head into the world on my own.
Anyway, thanks for the encouraging words!
ahn young ha say yo! always good to meet a fellow korean. btw if you ever go to SK and have questions regarding a wonderful time, just ask!
when you head out of your comfort zone, it might be difficult to fit into the new environment. This in turn can be a real downer on self confidence, etc. But trust me when I say that it gets better every single damn day. You just have to have the mindset that even small steps forward are worth fighting for, because in the end they add up to leaps and bounds.
Hi Dmn, like/attraction/passion is involuntary, you simply have it or you don't for something based on what you know. If you are lacking motivation and passion, you simply have not experienced enough. You will not be attracted or passionate for many things, people and activities in the world, but even the 1% of experiences in the world that attract you will last you several lifetimes.
A good way to start is to try and understand why other people are very excited, motivated or passionate about their various subject matters. Some people love flying, travelling, saving lives, research, space, politics/governance, fighting, economics, environment, etc. Simply seeing something in a new light (some pictures mean so much more when you know the back-story) can generate drive.
There are also a multitude of social ills and problems with the world, various causes people are motivated and passionate to correct. Help a community in need and let them show you their gratitude. Relief is an incredible feeling, when you're sinking and someone offers a helping hand just to help. Have empathy
Am not saying you should go off and be the wandering nomad savior like in Kung Fu or something, but definitely try and find your passion. It's out there. Once you find them, nurture the passions that cause the greatest good cause there are a lot of evil passionate people around too.
EPT
