EPT
need some advice (depressing)
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kazie
258 Posts
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Endymion
United States3701 Posts
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kazie
258 Posts
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Plexa
Aotearoa39261 Posts
My bet is if you move to Toronto and start work you will stay the same person and hate yourself for it. Just my 2c EDIT: I'll clarify what I'm saying with two examples; 1) Friend of mine (very good student at HS) was content with his life, but didn't feel that he was going anywhere meaningful. He felt like he was just fitting into the mold and doing what everyone expected of him. So what did he do? For his final year he moved to Wanaka where there was a massive emphasis on the outdoors and whatnot. He took up dance, he took up theatersports and became immersed in the outdoors. After breaking his rut he became a completely different person and x10 happier than if he had stayed. He went on to study geology and will do a teaching course this year then live in England for a while. 2) Another friend of mine (he posts here!) was getting kinda depressed. Yeah, he was doing alright in uni and getting by just fine but he wasn't happy with the direction of his life. His solution? He put his studies on hold and took and extended trip through Europe (and met a few TLers on the way). His experiences through Europe reinvigorated his passion for life and improved his outlook on everything. Afterwards he was way happier and felt that his life was back on course (I dno if he finished his engineering degree though!). | ||
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Endymion
United States3701 Posts
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StarStruck
25339 Posts
I hoped you learned a valuable lesson. Being lazy and passing things off won't get you very far in life. Yes, too much freedom can be a burden for some. It comes down to taking responsibility for your own actions. You will eventually have to go back to school. I only hope you don't make the same mistakes. On January 12 2012 13:51 Plexa wrote: Seriously, my suggestion would be to get out of the environment you're in and rediscover a passion for life. $2-3k is actually quite a bit up front and should enable you to do things other than move and live out a boring mundane life. It sounds like the computer is your enemy so I would consider travelling to some country (maybe in South America, maybe Europe, hell maybe africa!) and do one of those working holiday things. Yeah its fucking scary, but if you are settled into a routine of sloth a jump start like this might be what you need. My bet is if you move to Toronto and start work you will stay the same person and hate yourself for it. Just my 2c This is actually very good advice and I hope you look into it. Get a working visa and work aboard. Staying in one place could only bring you down more. You could use a change of atmosphere. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
Edit: Ofc resume your studies, but from your post it seemed that it wasn't an option. And going for another 5 year career at this point is retarded, and something most likely ur parents won't pay for. | ||
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MidnightGladius
China1214 Posts
However, that's not to say that all is lost. The first thing that you need to do is seriously assess your position and options. I'm not sure what the local job market is like in Toronto, but here in San Francisco, someone with your lack of qualifications would be essentially non-competitive. How confident are you in your ability to make the minimum wage in Toronto? What's the unemployment rate like, what connections do you have, and what's the cost-of-living situation? As you have a computer with internet access, I'd highly recommend that you do some research focusing on what your chances are. If they aren't acceptable, what about other areas of the country? You're going to have to maximize your expected value and hope. Next, what kind of social benefits and programs are available to you? Workfare, food stamps, conditional cash transfers, unemployment benefits: hopefully you'll be able to use them to stabilize your consumption at or slightly above the poverty line, and I'd be tempted to think that Canada's offerings in this regard are reasonably generous. Finally, look at your expenses and see what discretionary spending you can cut. Your savings will run out faster than you'd think if you don't manage them carefully, and I'm talking on the level of shaving fractions of dollars on every meal. Consider revising or shelving your phone plan, and remember to factor in savings (nothing fancy, but an emergency fund for sudden shocks like hospital fees can prevent you from having to scramble and liquidate assets). Good luck. | ||
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kazie
258 Posts
also what kind of entry level jobs could i be hired for with just a high school diploma? | ||
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Endymion
United States3701 Posts
On January 12 2012 13:59 kazie wrote: thanks for the advice guys, but working abroad is not really an option, at least until i can get settled in and know i can live on my own. convincing my parents about this is not really an option, since i've tried already. maybe after i've been out on my own i can start over with them. also what kind of entry level jobs could i be hired for with just a high school diploma? you can't use that attitude or you won't get shit for offers, you need to talk about how you were doing really well in school then you had a personal crisis, and you're willing to work for a lot less than the next guy in order to get experience. sell yourself! | ||
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StarStruck
25339 Posts
On January 12 2012 13:59 kazie wrote: thanks for the advice guys, but working abroad is not really an option, at least until i can get settled in and know i can live on my own. convincing my parents about this is not really an option, since i've tried already. maybe after i've been out on my own i can start over with them. also what kind of entry level jobs could i be hired for with just a high school diploma? Explore more options. If you plan it out well then I'm sure your parents would be more open to discussing it. That and I would consider yourself still a student who's taking a year off from school. Don't mention the fact you dropped out. Present yourself in the most positive light as possible. There are still many opportunities for you. | ||
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bRiz
United States113 Posts
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Chill
Calgary25981 Posts
You fucked up, but it's not over. Accept that and you should be fine to move on. Your parents made a bad investment (in you). It's good that they're cutting you off. Once you become a good investment again, they will invest in you again. Here's what I would do: 1. Pretend your parents no longer exist and you have $2k. You obviously wouldn't move to Toronto because the expenses are way higher. 2. From tomorrow, your full time job is finding a full time job. That means 8 hours a day you are meaningfully looking for a job.. You can do labour. I'm fat and short and I've worked in 12 hour night shifts building cars. I've worked 12 hour night shifts lifting boxes. Go get a job. If you have some sort of physical problem preventing you from doing labour, I apologize. If not, suck it up buttercup. 3. Finding a job is 10% research, 80% sweat, 10% luck. Print 100 resumes. Make sure they have no spelling and grammar errors. Go to every supermarket, retail store, tutoring center, garden center, electronics store near you. Walk in, ask to speak to the manager. Speak with confidence. Explain that you're looking for a job, you're extremely dedicated, you'll do any position, but don't come off desperate. 4. Now you're at the crossroads. If you've read this and you're like "well it's pretty hard I'll do some of it" then the plan has failed. You're a bad investment. If you go balls deep and try to recover, proceed to step 5. 5. Make a budget. The majority of this should be saving for school. Assuming you found a $10/hr, $40hr/week job, ~50% of this should be going to savings for school. That'll be $10k, enough for a year of tuition and rent with a part time job. Your budget should include rent to your parents. Don't forget to include include taxes and deductions. $400/week doesn't mean that you get $400/week. 6. Tell your parents you know you fucked up. You're self sustaining, you've found a job. Suggest that they let you stay in their house. Show them your budget, including paying them rent. Show them that you have a plan that gets you back in school (university, trade school, college, I don't give a fuck) in 1 year (winter semester, 2013). Hope it works out for you  | ||
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Phyre
United States1288 Posts
1) What interests you? Is there anything you are really truly passionate about? 2) What skills do you have? Is there anything you have a particular gift for or that you can do better than most? 3) What do you want most out of life? I think we should all have a better idea of the big picture that is your life and goals before we give too much direction. That said, a bit of encouragement for my experience. I was very much like you, only my decline was slower and started earlier. I was considered gifted by my teachers early on but stated I didn't have focus, suggesting that I might have Attention Deficit Disorder. I had decent to good grades with no studying at all, barely trying. I filled that time with video games or whatever else I felt like. By the time high school rolled around I had terrible work ethic but managed to get into a decent college. Things were all downhill there until my 2nd or 3rd year where I almost got kicked out of school. That's when it hit me to try hard and I got a lot of 90ish scores my last few years but it wasn't enough to bring up my GPA, like you. I ended up taking very dead end jobs (game tester) that paid crap and only required a high school diploma for 4 years. But I was determined to fix that. I trained myself outside of work by taking free online courses, reading tons, practicing on my own time, doing volunteer work for mod projects, etc. I volunteered for the most challenging and technical work I could get on the job, always striving to take on more even with no raise in pay or title. It took me 4 years of many sleepless nights and being tired 24/7 but it paid off. I'm finally at a job with a title worthy of my college degree and on the road to making what I should have when I graduated 4 years ago. I'm very much behind my peers but you have to start somewhere. If you're half as intelligent as you say you are you should be more than capable. If you can't make something happen it's most likely not because you lacked ability but because you simply didn't try hard enough. You can get back on your feet, you just need to want it bad enough. | ||
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kazie
258 Posts
and so... how would one go about getting a menial job at places like walmart? sorry not much time is left to me. i agreed to move out within a week (my parents talked with me about moving out today). right now i need any type of job (i literally have NO idea how to get ANY kind of job...even part time). after i get settled in maybe i can do some searching around | ||
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Plexa
Aotearoa39261 Posts
On January 12 2012 14:09 Chill wrote: This is good advice tooPreempetive tl;dr: I wouldn't follow my own advice, it sounds hard. But I've never gotten in this kind of shit. When you're this deep in shit, you can either go balls deep and get out or flounder. If you follow my 6 step program, you'll be fine, the rest is up to you. You fucked up, but it's not over. Accept that and you should be fine to move on. Your parents made a bad investment (in you). It's good that they're cutting you off. Once you become a good investment again, they will invest in you again. Here's what I would do: 1. Pretend your parents no longer exist and you have $2k. You obviously wouldn't move to Toronto because the expenses are way higher. 2. From tomorrow, your full time job is finding a full time job. That means 8 hours a day you are meaningfully looking for a job.. You can do labour. I'm fat and short and I've worked in 12 hour night shifts building cars. I've worked 12 hour night shifts lifting boxes. Go get a job. If you have some sort of physical problem preventing you from doing labour, I apologize. If not, suck it up buttercup. 3. Finding a job is 10% research, 80% sweat, 10% luck. Print 100 resumes. Make sure they have no spelling and grammar errors. Go to every supermarket, retail store, tutoring center, garden center, electronics store near you. Walk in, ask to speak to the manager. Speak with confidence. Explain that you're looking for a job, you're extremely dedicated, you'll do any position, but don't come off desperate. 4. Now you're at the crossroads. If you've read this and you're like "well it's pretty hard I'll do some of it" then the plan has failed. You're a bad investment. If you go balls deep and try to recover, proceed to step 5. 5. Make a budget. The majority of this should be saving for school. Assuming you found a $10/hr, $40hr/week job, ~50% of this should be going to savings for school. That'll be $10k, enough for a year of tuition and rent with a part time job. Your budget should include rent to your parents. Don't forget to include include taxes and deductions. $400/week doesn't mean that you get $400/week. 6. Tell your parents you know you fucked up. You're self sustaining, you've found a job. Suggest that they let you stay in their house. Show them your budget, including paying them rent. Show them that you have a plan that gets you back in school (university, trade school, college, I don't give a fuck) in 1 year (winter semester, 2013). Hope it works out for you | ||
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StarStruck
25339 Posts
Still don't have the right mindset. Link me your resume. I'm not doing everything for you. Like Chill said you need to have confidence and not come off as being desperate. You need to sort your shit out. Like he said, find any job first and find a really cheap place. | ||
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Endymion
United States3701 Posts
even if you weren't in a stupid position like you are now, it's still incredibly rude to call something menial when it's an integral part of society... my parents would have slapped me so hard for saying something so ignorant | ||
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jrkirby
United States1510 Posts
So, good luck. | ||
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kazie
258 Posts
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