EPTThe plan was only concocted at the beginning of that week. Initially, it was my brother who had scheduled this trip months ago in advance. But due to a peculiar dramatic incident he was involved with, he injured his hand and was unfit to go. Staying true to my resolution to overcome social inhibitions, I agreed to take his spot. I had wanted to go skiing this season, and here was my chance.
We arrived after the all-night bus ride. I gathered my rental equipment and suited up. The ski boots were a tight fit, which proved to be a cause of some problems later on. I got onto the gondola and rode up the mountain. I had never taken a ski lift that took me so far up before. I started out sticking together with my roommates, but I took a tumble on my first run down and had trouble putting my skis back on. It had been while since I had last done this, and I was not particuarly experienced, but I knew I would be fine. I told them to go on without me. I decided I could meet up and socialize with them later.
After going down the mountain just twice, I was struggling. It was a long way down, my skills were rusty, and my muscles were not conditioned for this activity. But by far the worst of all, one ankle had been quite badly sprained back in September. I thought it had fully recovered, but I discovered that was not right. The tight ski boot placed a lot of pressure on its weak point, and I had to take great care to try to minimize the impact absorbed by it. I took it slow, and limited my hours on the first day. I decided even if it meant placing the goal of the 7.5 hour bus ride in jeopardy, the importance of preserving my physical health was greater.
That turned out to be the right decision. On the second day, I padded my sock with more cloth over the ankle bone. That, combined with better technique, let me fully use the hours on the second day on the mountain. I knew for sure if I stubbornly pressed on under the conditions of the first day, I would sustain another serious injury on my ankle, which I avoided.
The mountain closed rather early at 3:30pm the second day, same as the first. I suppose they didn’t have night skiiing lamps. I reconvened with my roommates at our unit. We passed the time leisurely relaxing. I took out my phone and stared at the keypad. I had planned to take this action the next day on the bus ride back, but I changed my mind and wanted to push the action forward. Maybe I thought it was just an excuse to delay it, or maybe I wouldn’t be able to meet my self-imposed ultimatum, or a mix of both. This Christmas break would definitely be the time to do it, and the sooner the better.
I typed my one sentence out, mulled it over, panicked, realized I might possibly chicken out on this, took a long breath, pressed “send to”, found her name on my list, and sent the text to ask the girl out. Clearly I did not do this often. This was my second attempt. My first time did not work out well; or rather, I suppose it did, since we did go out, but my proposition ultimately failed. That was the subject of a previous blog I made here, and on an unrelated positive note, I am over that one. Such attempts perhaps carry more weight for me, because I am very selective of my targets, in pursuit only of something I will take quite seriously. It is a problem to get my hopes too high too early, I suppose, but that is how I operate.
I put down my phone and could not bear to look at it in the next little while. Five minutes passed – nothing. Ten minutes. An hour. Still nothing. I tended to other matters while I waited.
Later that evening of the second day, my roommates had gone to the hot tub. I had already gone earlier that day and declined to join them. I went out for a walk in the village at the foot of the mountain. Christmas lights were strung along the street, and the sight was picturesque. People were out and about walking along the street, even though all the shops were closed, because it was a small place with nothing else to do. I entered a square with a big Christmas tree and a large net of white blinking lights strung over the the square. They blinked randomly, as far as I could tell, creating interesting display patterns imitating a starry night. It was a pretty scene. I circled the square. Behind the buildings, snow machines were pumping up man-made snow for the ski slopes, and I could feel the water droplets on my face.
I was about to leave and head back when I saw a couple in front of the Christmas tree. The girl was holding a camera and looking at passerbys. I could tell they were looking for someone to take a picture. She had focused on another couple walking in front of them, and had started some steps to approach, but it seemed the passers did not notice. I casually strolled as if passing in front of them and caught her eye. I welcomely accepted her request to take a photo. I positioned them through the display and noticed the bright tree behind them made the light capture of the subjects poor/dark.
The man suddenly got down on one knee. Okay, so he’s posing, I thought. His lips were moving and he was saying something to the girl. I couldn’t hear what it was due to the noise from the snow maker. The girl’s reaction was a stunned posture as she put her hands to her face. Oh shit, I realized, this is the real thing. The man took out a box from his pocket and produced it. Shit, gotta take pictures, even if they’re going to turn out bad. I snapped a couple, probably not as many as I should have, but even then I was caught by surprise and wasn’t sure what to do. I think all my pictures turned out to be pretty bad. I was thinking about capturing the background when I really should have just zoomed in to the couple. I felt the pressure to capture this couple’s wedding proposal and give them something special.
The experience was surreal. After the man got up, the girl was teary eyed, wiping away some tears from her face. He thanked me and I took one more normal posed photo for them. A small circle of strangers went up to congratulate them, including me. I handed back their camera and stepped back. What a magical moment. I hope I didn’t ruin it by taking the crappiest pictures they could imagine. I walked back down the brightly decorated street to the hotel.
That night, I never received a response for my text. I came back home today, and didn’t get anything all day. I guess it was an implied rejection. Then, 27 hours after my prompt, I get something along the lines of “sure, if we can muster up a group together”. I believe my intent was clear, so this answer was not what I was looking for. I don’t even know what to feel any more. I wonder what my next move should be.
