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It's been a good half a year since my last post on this blog, and it's a good chance this will become my last.
I have reached the last stage of ladder anxiety: Ladder apathy. I remember the halcyon days when I loved to want to ladder; each day after work, I rushed home believing "This is the day I'll ladder!" Of course, I never did, but I still believed I'm a SC2 player. I even proudly changed my computer's wallpaper to a stylized silver league badge.
Now, I watch my friends do good in ladder. Being excited with each win they get, and just laughing off their losses as good training (or being all IdrA-like and calling people bad when they lose to the inevitable). They have finally started practicing against each other. Coaching each other, hours on end. Learning from each other. Playing team games. All that.
And I sit in the sidelines trying to give a shit, but none is given.
I even open the occasional stream, but find myself subsequently closing the them if the streamer just concentrates on playing, instead of being entertaining. I've bought a bunch of games off Steam, just because they're not SC2. But they're pretty much untouched - I must still believe I'm cheating on StarCraft, or something.
Those of you who love laddering, keep at it! Those of you who are like pigs their sties in your bronze leagues, I envy you. But for my part, I'd like to quote a famous StarCraft 2 showman:
"Fuck this game."
- Day[9]
 
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I don't get it... are you proud that you're too afraid to ladder?
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I have to wonder why you don't just quit playing SC2 if you're not taking enjoyment from it.
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Man up and ladder. SC2 is a tough game, not meant for everyone. Skyrim or Halo or COD awaits.
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i never really got ladder anxiety/motivation. ladder is just a system to get you a good 1v1 really quick. all the icons/mmr/whatever around it is just fluff.
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On November 14 2011 06:12 Mothra wrote:
I don't get it... are you proud that you're too afraid to ladder?
No, I meant to say that I counted myself as an avid player. I was convinced that I just needed to figure something out, and I'd start playing again.
On November 14 2011 06:13 The_Piper42 wrote:
I have to wonder why you don't just quit playing SC2 if you're not taking enjoyment from it.
I'm trying. I think a part of me wants to still learn to be good at it. But there's a big part of me who hates when I'm no good at it. It's a vicious cycle.
On November 14 2011 06:16 TheAwesomeAll wrote:
i never really got ladder anxiety/motivation. ladder is just a system to get you a good 1v1 really quick. all the icons/mmr/whatever around it is just fluff.
Trust me, I don't get it either. It's very irrational, and I hate irrational things. Maybe I'm just a bad loser.
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Wait, so your friends are super involved, practicing with each other and coaching and giving advice and you want no part of it? I don't think it's ladder apathy, I think you just don't like playing anymore.
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To get good at anything, you have to embrace sucking. If you can't be bad at something and like doing it, you can't actually practice, and it's practice that makes you good. You have to enjoy the process of getting better bit by bit in what you do to be able to put the hours in.
I enjoy being bad at most of the things I do. However, one thing I've never enjoyed being bad at is drawing. I hade looking at my own drawings and that makes me hate drawing. I can't bring myself to sit down and keep drawing time after time, and that stops me from getting better. I'm fine with this, because I don't care about it enough.
For the things I care about (music, fencing, chess, climbing etc), I enjoy sucking at them and I will continue to work my way up slowly. The things I don't care about I don't.
So that bring us to our question. Do you enjoy *playing* starcraft, or do you merely enjoy being good at starcraft? Can you tell what the difference?
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On November 14 2011 06:28 Emporio wrote:
Wait, so your friends are super involved, practicing with each other and coaching and giving advice and you want no part of it? I don't think it's ladder apathy, I think you just don't like playing anymore.
"Not wanting to be a part" is a bit strongly put. I just don't feel like I absolutely must join them. It's not like I'd duel them anyways...
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On November 14 2011 06:38 kmh wrote:
Do you enjoy *playing* starcraft, or do you merely enjoy being good at starcraft?
I love doing awesome force fields. I love my low unspent minerals score. I love it when I'm playing well. I hate it when I'm not playing perfectly every time, all the time.
So, I think I merely enjoy being good at SC.
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Does this hate of not playing perfectly drive you to fix your errors via dedicated practice? If so, that hate is productive.
Does this hate of not playing perfectly drive away from playing entirely? If so, that hate is destructive.
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Previous trends point towards the latter.
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I used to have ladder anxiety, then one day I just said "screw it" and started laddering. I was a protoss player, but I started laddering as Zerg, so if I lost (which I did many many times) I'd be like well... I'm just learning Zerg so it's ok that I'm losing. 3 months and 250+ games later, I'm still laddering as Zerg <3
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The same thing happened to me except I just lost all joy in playing at all. Winning didn't make me feel happy, losing made me feel annoyed. Eventually I just concluded I hated SC2. Every game felt like a gradual build up until you both are maxed at 200/200 and then its just a 1a into each other (unless it's TvT which is just a disgustingly boring turtle fest) and whoever micros the ghosts/HT/infestors the best wins. Or it's a "cheese/all-in" game where it becomes "did you scout it and throw up enough defenses?". Oh yea and then there are "build order loses" where you just flat out lose because you did X and your opponent decided to do Y.
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On November 14 2011 07:44 ClysmiC wrote:
I used to have ladder anxiety, then one day I just said "screw it" and started laddering. I was a protoss player, but I started laddering as Zerg, so if I lost (which I did many many times) I'd be like well... I'm just learning Zerg so it's ok that I'm losing. 3 months and 250+ games later, I'm still laddering as Zerg <3
Actually, I've been entertaining the thought of switching to Terran (from Protoss) with HotS, just because of hoping this might happen...
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yay taking day9 quotes out of context
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On November 14 2011 08:53 Endymion wrote:
yay taking day9 quotes
I know! It's great!
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Do not take the lords name out of vain, thanks mate.
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On November 14 2011 08:48 hpaul wrote:Actually, I've been entertaining the thought of switching to Terran (from Protoss) with HotS, just because of hoping this might happen...
Do the switch now. Put on your trollface smirk on, do a couple SlayerS_Dragon-like builds and enjoy every second out of it. I wouldn't like losing a brotoss but that's nothing compared to losing a bro alltogether.
On November 14 2011 08:59 Gogleion wrote:I know! It's great!
I lolled hard :D
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EPT
