EPTIt started just 6 hours before midnight. I was super pumped for midnight because I knew I'd be getting the game I had been waiting to receive for about a year. I got into a heated argument with my dad about which Walmart to go to if Meijer indeed did not have it even though they claimed they did. He suggested the one further away, but in a better neighborhood. I suggested the closer one, but in the ghetto. Either way Skyrim was to be had!
I watch about 20 minutes of SoTG before I set out to collect my bounty. At this point I was like a giddy school girl. Dancing, singing, yelling in my car, I couldn't get the excitement out of my body. Once I reached Meijer I went straight to the back hoping there wouldn't be a repeat of last year (They didn't have Starcraft 2....sons of bitches) There was quite the line at the desk so I assumed that they were all there for Skyrim and I would be guaranteed a copy. It turns out that the DVD for the last Harry Potter movie was released tonight as well and they were all there for that..."Don't worry," cried the store clerk! "We have plenty of copies of Skyrim left for you." A sudden ease came upon me as I knew this night was a success. Little did I know that the night had just begun. He then asked me if I wanted the Xbox version or the PS3 version. I of course said "no my good sir, I will take the PC version please." He frantically checked box upon box looking for the PC copies. It turns out they did not receive any. I sighed in sorrow, but knew I had a backup plan.
I got into my car and decided to listen to my dad's advice and go to the Walmart in the nicer neighborhood. It was a 15 minute drive that ended up taking over an hour. I drove 3 miles down the road only to reach the longest freaking red light I've ever stopped at. I could've fapped at least 3 times during this wait. Unfortunately I realize later I could've turned right and taken a Michigan left to avoid this terrible situation. After another 20 minutes or so driving I realized I am a little lost. It seemed fine because I found another Meijer. After another long walk through the huge store I found out they didn't even have the game at all.
I then set my GPS to where the Walmart was supposed to be because I was a little lost and needed some electronic guidance. It takes me 6 miles down another road which seemed suspicious to me because I thought I was within just a couple miles. Well the destination my GPS took me to was some random middle school. I knew it couldn't be right, but I decided there might be a Walmart near the back of the school or something because I'm an idiot. So I headed back down some tiny road until I see a dead end. At this point I literally thought I was going to be attacked and raped from all sides. I had to back up down this road an turn into the parking lot so I could turn around. Once I got into the parking lot my light shined on two cars with a couple guys talking outside them. I'm about 90% sure they were doing a little drug exchange from the way they were exchanging things. They noticed me and started walking towards my car faster then I would have liked drug dealers to walk towards me. I floored my car and drove over a median and some grassy area to get back on the road to get the hell out of there. Didn't care if I ruined school property, as long as I was still alive and acquired Skyrim I was ok.
After freaking out like a girl from the thought of being murdered I go back to my GPS. It turns out the school has the EXACT same address as the Walmart 6 miles in the other direction. After another 15 minute drive into Narnia I reach my destination. That Walmart was lit up like a beautiful christmas tree. It was like finding an Oasis after being in the desert for two days. I get out of the car and enter that beautiful store hoping that they had the game. If they didn't I may have gone on a killing spree. The first thing I notice is a big pile of big sized candy for only 98 cents a box!!! Seriously those are some delicious delectable deals. Unfortunately I'm on a diet and seeing that only made the night worse. I made it to the back of the store and saw more people getting Harry Potter. The most beautiful man appeared from beyond the counter. He had a box with him. A most glorious box filled with incredible things. Incredible things such as....SKYRIM FOR THE PC!!! I finally got it. After all the frustration I completed my goal and it only took an extra hour and a half.
On the way home I got to that intersection again right as the light turned red. So being a smart and superior being I decided to take the Michigan left like I should've last time only to find out the light turned green almost immediately. The world was truly out to get me on this night.
Oh yeah one more thing. So it turns out my CD drive doesn't work so I can't play Skyrim until I get a new one. If a lot of people in the Metro-Detroit area get killed by an enraged college student, then you'll know what happened...
tl;dr: Fuck Meijer, fuck creepy dark schools, fuck GPS systems, fuck drug dealers, and Walmart is amazing and has great prices. Oh, and the world is out to get me.
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