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The Fundamental Theorem of Profanity!
Stated simply, any profanity and can be combined with an object to create a new profanity whose vulgarity is equivalent to the average of each component. Its a simple theory with powerful implications in the fields of sailor talk, burns and continuous distribution put down theories.
Lets illistrate the theorem with some examples:
Example 1) Your roommate just ripped ass and there's no ventilation in your room. You want to call him a piece of shit but thats too harsh, it happens to the best of us. Still, you must express your disapproval. Using the FTP we attach a milder word, lets say biscuit, yielding the appropriate word: shitbiscuit.
Example 2) Susie in your Diff Eqs class is being a cunt, still you can't call Susie a cunt you are a gentleman and such petty insults are beneath you. Instead you can call her a Cuntrainbow! Keep in mind cunt has a particularly strong vulgarity coefficient so we must use a word with positive connotations to keep from drawing her ire (because seriously, if you piss her off she will hold a grudge forevvvvvvvvver and then she'll trash talk you to her friend who is kinda cute and who you study with sometimes and that blossoming relationship is going straight into the shitter).
Example 3) You're Day[9] and your doing a daily; something both awful and hilarious happens during your cast like you, oh idk, ruin Christmas for a 8 year old girl. Shit is slightly too powerful a word; thankfully we can adjust it with a slightly less vulgar word: Buttshit
Corollary: The better the amalgamation sounds in your head, the more effective. Points for alliteration, word symmetry, relations between words, and foods (ex: cockmuffin).
Second Corollary: After exhaustive research in the field; the N, B and G words are STILL OFF LIMITS. Current theory postulates V(G)>V(N)>V(B)>inf
Happy cursing
+ Show Spoiler +
 
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What's the G word? Grack?
I really have no idea what it could be.
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I've got nothing for G or B....
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Uhm G word might be an epithet that got thrown around a lot in Gran Torino, B might be a euphemism Carlos Mencia applies to himself that sounds like it's related to a popular Hispanic food item.
I can think of much worse to leave off limits, however. There's an S and a W for Hispanics, another S for Asians, a C for Chinese. Another N for Germans, a W for caucasians...
Dumbass rednecks in the Army telling racist jokes taught me a few of these. Which makes me think of one against people (unfortunately) of similar genetic heritage to myself. What do you call a used rubber in a trailer park? White trash.
Unfortunately, this theory can fail repeatedly. In fact, it sounds similar to a lot of failed applications.
For example, Cuntwhore is properly offensive. However, if you say Bitchcunt, unless they're offended by the word in and of itself, they're going to laugh at you. Creativity can be good, but if you fail, it WILL get you mocked, rather than getting the point across.
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Scrotum Rule:
Just call everyone you want to insult a scrotum. There is no comeback to that, not that my research has turned up anyways. It also isn't very insulting, but it does stun people, giving you time to leave, or come up with a better-made insult to follow up.
CASE 1:
Jack: God, you're such a fucking bitch.
John: Yeah?! Well you're a scrotum! (Scrotum Rule)
Jack: ...
*John leaves*
CASE 2:
Jack: God, you're such a fucking bitch.
John: Yeah?! Well you're a scrotum! (Scrotum Rule)
Jack: ...
John: Got nothing else to say, bitch-nugget? (FTP)
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On October 06 2011 12:08 Mr. Wiggles wrote:Scrotum Rule: + Show Spoiler +
Just call everyone you want to insult a scrotum. There is no comeback to that, not that my research has turned up anyways. It also isn't very insulting, but it does stun people, giving you time to leave, or come up with a better-made insult to follow up.
CASE 1:
Jack: God, you're such a fucking bitch.
John: Yeah?! Well you're a scrotum! (Scrotum Rule)
Jack: ...
*John leaves*
CASE 2:
Jack: God, you're such a fucking bitch.
John: Yeah?! Well you're a scrotum! (Scrotum Rule)
Jack: ...
John: Got nothing else to say, bitch-nugget? (FTP)
Works until you recycle a vague insult. As soon as anyone catches you recycling, you're totally screwed. Getting caught in a weak stall is worse than no comeback.
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It's perfectly OK to actually say the words here, you don't have to talk like a day time TV host.
I would theorize that cunt is just as bad of a word as nigger. You seem to have absolutely no problem spraying cunts around everywhere.
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I was mostly sticking with the theme of the OP. Just in case someone ends up here by accident:+ Show Spoiler +In order: Gook, Beaner, Spic, Wetback, Slanteye, Chink, Nazi, White Trash
Generally, I'm much better with obscenity and vulgarity than overt discrimination. Now victims of self-stereotyping, I might be willing to cross those lines, but that's different.
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On October 06 2011 12:11 Ghin wrote:
It's perfectly OK to actually say the words here, you don't have to talk like a day time TV host.
I would theorize that cunt is just as bad of a word as nigger. You seem to have absolutely no problem spraying cunts around everywhere.
There's honestly so many racial slurs floating around, that I don't even recognize half of the ones in the OP. I don't know whether to laugh or cringe at that. It gets especially confusing as they're the same letters too.
EDIT: Ninja'd
Also, don't forget WASP
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Cuntrainbow is cute though. Almost endearing. It's like a nickname that unicorns could even use amongst each other.
+ Show Spoiler +Cunt is actually a word that I need to get out of my daily vocabulary, lately I've replaced bitch with it haha. But I lol'd anyway.
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United States13143 Posts
I came into this thread for File Transfer Protocols.
Luckily, this is about as interesting!
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On October 06 2011 13:58 Elyvilon wrote:
I came into this thread for File Transfer Protocols.
Luckily, this is about as interesting!
Ouch
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I also thought this was File Transfer Protocols. :\
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wow this is the first thing I thought of too :| too much TL
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On October 06 2011 14:44 mizU wrote:
I also thought this was File Transfer Protocols. :\
Shoulda named it penis potato's... Oh well, next time
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On October 06 2011 17:36 n.DieJokes wrote:Show nested quote +On October 06 2011 14:44 mizU wrote:
I also thought this was File Transfer Protocols. :\ Shoulda named it penis potato's... Oh well, next time
Might've had a better result perhaps.
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EPT
