So I was in my bed minding my own business around like 9:30am this morning, contemplating skipping my writing seminar like I always do, when I suddenly hear "HONKKKKKKK HONKKKKKK." from 2 stories down. To be honest I haven't heard honks like this monster's honks since I lived in Ontario, and I haven't even seen a goose since I moved to Boulder. Anyways, naturally I was like "wtf a goose in the midwest? shouldn't they be migrating back up to Alberta by now?" So I lean out my window and yell SHHHHHHH at the monster, I mean doesn't it understand that I need peace and quiet to concentrate? It actually looked up at me, looked me directly in the eye, and let out a long honk, a honk of honks in fact. I was like "oh fuck is this goose for real? he is really bming me like this?" Luckily my roommate was out so that he didn't have to bear witness to my obscenities.
Fast forward like 10 minutes of me rushing to get ready because this goose had to bm me and distract me. I rushed out the door into the blinding sunlight, naturally turning my head and recoiling at terror to the solar assault on my eyes. After a second or two, my eyes adjusted and I brought my view forward once more, ready to bear the horrors of the outside world. The goose of geese was blocking my path, it must have been up to my navel with it's beak (and I'm 6'5"!)
OMG HACKS
This started to play in my head..
"Go away, I need to get to writing!" The monster steps one foot closer
"I mean it, get out of here!" Monster cocks its head like a confused German Shepard
(Hmm, maybe I just need to be aggressive.. Most animals back down to that, right?) Another step forward
(Alright that's it, I'll be super late if I don't get going now!) *Throws backpack to the ground, puts face towards the Goose* "HONKKKKKKK (in my best imitation of its honk)"
Monster steps backwards once (alright, it worked!)
It let out a shrill honk the likes of God has never heard, and charges me.
"OH FUCK!" *Reaches for the door into the dorm, but I realize that it's been a long time since it locked behind me*
Pecks me twice on each leg, then once in the groin. *I, a fully grown/gym toned male, collapse to the ground in pain and despair.*
The monster lets out a victorious honk, over head, and leaves to go find other prey.
*The door opens behind me*, two cute blondes come out side, giggle, and say "Wow, he really took you to town didn't he!"
Pride hurt, I rose up and staggered off to my writing seminar. What a terrible way to start of a day.
5/5 I really have to ask. is this for real ? I dont know how in USA but this happened really often here. Its like 3rd most usually way to die in Slovakia.
On March 15 2011 15:42 NIIINO wrote: 5/5 I really have to ask. is this for real ? I dont know how in USA but this happened really often here. Its like 3rd most usually way to die in Slovakia.
Oh it's real alright, geese are more deadly than T3 Z apparently when enraged.
If you don't know, Geese Howard is a longtime SNK fighting game villian. Voice samples (I think) and announcer in the above should be from Capcom vs. SNK 2, though of course he appears in many games. Geese is first char on P2 side here:
Not quite as bad as your situation, but I too have been attacked by a horrible goose monster and because of this I have determined 100% of geese are bm.
Haha, playing the battle music in addition to reading this post made me lol. Appreciate the read mate, was hilarious haha. You should of gotten those girl's numbers
Geese are viscious man. Unfortunate you had to experience it first hand. I always give them plenty of room when they're waddling around campus. They're probably the most bm creatures on the planet.
If you don't know, Geese Howard is a longtime SNK fighting game villian. Voice samples (I think) and announcer in the above should be from Capcom vs. SNK 2, though of course he appears in many games. Geese is first char on P2 side here:
the ol classic. one of the comments made me rofl "Damn, Terry Bodog relied on his striker for the whole damn game. What a noob. And then he ran out the timer by turtling. This match should've gone to Goose."
When I was little, my mother would go to this jogging group at a local park. I was probably 3 or 4 at the time. There was a little pond nearby, and so I'd get dropped off with my aunt and cousins while my mum went jogging. The pond had lots of ducks... and geese. Naturally, I always wanted to feed the ducks, because ducks are cute and awesome. But those goddamn geese wanted my bread just as much as the ducks, and at 4 years of age, they towered over me and chased me and I would run away crying. I swore I would defeat them one day when I was bigger -.-; Fuck geese!
i used to work about a half hour outside ottawa. after my bus stop, i had to walk about fifteen minutes, along a big flat marsh. in the summer there would be dozens of geese just hanging out. dodging their shit on the sidewalk was pretty much my main concern, but a lot of people were pretty wary of the geese. fuckers are huge, and aren't afraid to charge at your if they feel threatened
On March 15 2011 23:21 DoubleZee wrote: I was attacked by a goose as I was roller blading when I was a 8 or 9. Those mother fuckers are evil and fear nothing.
Yup, born and raised in Sarnia/London, should have gone to UWO =[, luckily the goose wasn't waiting for me this morning.
EPT![[image loading]](http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/103/e/a/Big_Goose_by_Adrian_Foley.jpg)
