EPTalso... if you get bored, you can fast forward to to the 1:50 mark to save some time... haha thanks.
also thoughts on quotes... is it true? or a load?
if she's worth it
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jimbob615
Uruguay455 Posts
also... if you get bored, you can fast forward to to the 1:50 mark to save some time... haha thanks. also thoughts on quotes... is it true? or a load? | ||
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kmh
Finland351 Posts
First of all, the song is lacking in dynamics. The song is about as loud from start to finish, which makes it seem kind of flat as a whole. Consider making the song build up and having it drop down for the interlude. The piano playing sounds more programmed than actual, which I assume is the case? By modifying the velocity, you could add a lot of expressivity and life to the piano part, which really is the heart and soul of this song. If you don't have the ability to play it, you might want to get a friend to play the part for you so that you can record it. After the interlude, you may want to bring the drums in with a pickup or a fill. 2:20, the second piano part is stepping on the toes of the backing part, detracting from it instead of adding to it. Consider transposing it up an octave. In addition, you may also want to consider panning it hard to either side. The piece in general would benefit from a sung melody, which is probably what you had in mind in the first place? If you do go down that route, be picky about singers. Now, I hope you take this constructive criticism in the spirit in which it was intended - it seems like you have a good ear for hooks and some talent for songwriting - keep at it  | ||
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iGrok
United States5142 Posts
If you have a melody line, consider using a seperate instrument over the piano to do it until you have a singer. A trumpet would sound nice imo. I recognize the hat from FL . If you look around, theres much better sounding cymbals - a ride perhaps? That one sounds too digital. | ||
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AirbladeOrange
United States2574 Posts
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kmh
Finland351 Posts
The piano in particular could benefit immensely from just playing the part along the song instead of looping it. I'm no pianist, so what I generally do is that I track both hands separately, and just do a lot of takes until I get what I want. I also don't hesitate to edit the midi data to fine-tune the velocity. If you can, get a piano-playing friend to track it for you. | ||
Peeano
Netherlands5963 Posts
And I think it would sound a lot better if you use chords in the bass, instead of just single notes. Possibly make variations of single notes n chords to make it sound less dull. The use of chords in the bass is to make it sound more complete/warmer/full. | ||
Rekrul
Korea (South)17174 Posts
lyrics sick gay though | ||
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Zim23
United States1681 Posts
On December 08 2010 18:37 Rekrul wrote: started at 1:50. really catchy, definitely has potential lyrics sick gay though Second this. Lyrics kind of nauseating but the song itself is well produced/catchy. Suggested lyric change: and if she's easy use a condom. | ||
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mizU
United States12125 Posts
if a, then b, but if b, then c. basically. try to be a little more poetic/creative with it  | ||
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tealc
109 Posts
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d3_crescentia
United States4054 Posts
As for lyrics and melody, I think it's pretty repetitive, unless you're going for that whole electronic business, in which case it should be deliberate and extended and developed with layering upon layering. Also, please no trumpets. Otherwise you might end up like this guy: + Show Spoiler + | ||
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jimbob615
Uruguay455 Posts
going to go back to the drawing board and try and fix it with some of the suggestions here. | ||
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Mora
Canada5235 Posts
catchy tune though. | ||
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HeadhunteR
Argentina1258 Posts
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vlaric
United States412 Posts
On December 08 2010 20:50 tealc wrote: Can anyone recall the original song where OP ripped off that piano melody from? | ||
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DarthThienAn
United States2734 Posts
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