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How do you people become determined and accomplish tasks?
I realize that this isn't as nearly as hard as I'm going to make it sound like. But the truth is when you are in college or have a steady job you are pretty much driven to accomplish what is expected of you because you see an outcome. If you work a job, you'll see it gets you money. If you are in college, you'll see it is teaching you new things (and what you can expect once in the job field). Together, you find it necessary to continue doing your task. It is normal for you and all part of your routine, and you benefit from it.
But what about the people who aren't in college and can't find a job? I'm SORT of in this situation. It is complex, and I'm not going to divulge the whole story, but I'll say what the important part is. I'm becoming lazy. I can't schedule anything anymore. My average day consists of absolutely nothing. Competitive video games don't even excite me. Console games lost their flair for me (previously I was a rabid Nintendo fanboy). I can't even awake to my alarm clock anymore. This was never a challenge for me before. And even worse, I am rarely eating or exercising. My lunch consists of me going in the kitchen, looking around, and going back to bed. No, there wasn't a missed step. Nothing actually goes in my mouth during lunch.
Medical complications aside, what do I want to do with my future? I WANT to move to Canada first off, I don't enjoy it here in the United States. As for a potential career, I'd be absolutely satisfied with a simple office job. I do hold a tech degree in computer sciences (very basic - not sure how many people acknowledge it, although is legitimate) so anything involving programming to web design to Microsoft Office would be amazing with me. I'm not picky though, any job that I am capable of I'd take.
Now what I need help with is how to go from someone who sleeps 12 hours a day doing absolutely nothing to becoming someone who can become employed and eventually move to Canada. Despite my efforts (and yes I'm honestly trying), I still cannot maintain a sleep schedule yet, nor can I get myself to exercise or eat properly. I've been lazy my whole life and haven't had much discipline. Going to the army was my first thought but I couldn't make it in due to medical complications. Dunno what to say.
I could go on and on but I just would love advice.
And any questions about my situation I'd love to answer.
Also any information about Canadian citizenship, how easy it is to obtain, the job market in Canada, etc. would be very helpful.
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I think about how I have it so much easier than so many other people, how so many others would kill to have a cushy and comfortable life like mine. Hell, people are dying of starvation or cancer right this second, and half the time, I'm procrastinating from doing things like... homework? Putting off shaving for another day? Being too lazy to grade papers?
Also, whenever I feel like being lazy and not do something that's incredibly simple, I literally say aloud, "How about you stop being a pussy and man up?"
That usually works for me. Just recognize that you're lucky to have the life you have, and that you'd be a fool to waste a single second of it.
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I seriously don't think you should come to Canada. Most successful Canadians move to the US eventually, so why go the opposite direction?
You think too highly of this country.
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On November 21 2010 08:39 Sufficiency wrote:
I seriously don't think you should come to Canada. Most successful Canadians move to the US eventually, so why go the opposite direction?
You think too highly of this country.
Canada is less crowded, has universal healthcare, and is environmentally the place I want to be.
I've been there once and really really REALLY enjoyed it. I'm sure I'll visit again before making the final decision.
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not doing anything anymore, losing control of your schedule and not being happy about stuff sounds very much like a clinical depression (which does not mean just bad mood, but bad body chemistry so to speak). You should consider seeing a doctor about that if you feel its to bad and you don't see how to get out of it.
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On November 21 2010 08:54 MisterD wrote:
not doing anything anymore, losing control of your schedule and not being happy about stuff sounds very much like a clinical depression (which does not mean just bad mood, but bad body chemistry so to speak). You should consider seeing a doctor about that if you feel its to bad and you don't see how to get out of it.
Even if it is I'm trying to reduce my medications, not add on more.
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Yeah, sounds like depression to me. Losing enthusiasm for everything including games, oversleeping, feelings of hopelessness, no appetite. You're ticking alot of boxes. I've been through it, regular medication and counselling does wonders. You shouldn't feel this way and it's not your fault. It can be very difficult to pull yourself out of it without assistance. Regular exercise, regular diet, setting your alarm to the same time and waking up to it are also part of long term recovery but if that seems to much/difficult atm, see a counsellor.
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Here is my advice :
- Start doing something else. Not finding a job, not playing video games. Pick something that you would like to be good at that requires work. Here are some ideas : Learn dance, learn cooking, go to the gym, run for the marathon, learn a music instrument. Anything that you would really love to get good at. Do not look at how long it will take you to be good, there is no magic pills. BUT this will be a quick way in the path to fix your laziness :
* Force yourself to attend every courses or have a strong schedule (3 times a week at the gym, 1hour every day etc). Punish yourself for not doing it (give money to a friend, get out naked whatever...). This will force you to actually respect a schedule again.
* In the end you will have actually learned something that you like (yes it can take you 3 years, but when you will be there your laziness will be probably fixed and you will also be good at guitar).
- While doing the first activity you can add, when you feel comfortable with the first, a second. This step will give you tremendous progress to cure your laziness (2 things requires far mor discipline than one).
- One or both of these things must force you to actually wake up early and not go to bed too late too often (you can put the gym in the morning for example). Reconfiguring your sleep schedule is the thing that will enable you to be far more comfortable about doing things and finding a job (you will be healthier, days will appear longer etc).
- Begin your researches for a job (give you a minimum of hours to seek it) as soon as your schedule is now normal.
- Picture yourself in 5 / 10 / 15 years. See what you would like, see where you are going with your current actions. Take the path to make your present actions a way to get you where you want to be. You have to find your path, your focus and start working on it, working on it is taking baby steps, I described the first baby steps anybody should do.
- In the end, no doctor, no TL-er, nobody, has a magic pill that will make you not lazy. Transforming a personality is like losing and gaining weight. IT TAKES TIME and self determination, YOU MUST find this determination. IF YOU CAN'T, start meditating (sit down every day for at least 30min with no sounds just looking inside of you, do the picture exercise I described before, seek where your fears are, your barriers, where your laziness comes from. This exercise will make you understand yourself better, and if you want the life you want you will begin to walk towards it. I know some will call it "easier said than done", "Hyppie bullshit and such". But you should not listen  .
This is the path I took when I found myself being lazy as shit and just going to school and playing videogames, my life is better now, but I still want to improve so I keep this track.
Edit : Though I'm not saying you should not find help, You definitly shoud find help. But no help will do all the work you have to work on yourself at the same time. The way this people suggested :
Have someone else keep you on track while looking for something more permanent like a job. Work with a friend and meet up with them every day, have them call you if you don't arrive on time.
is a good way to ask for help. Tell them about what you are trying to achieve and your way about it. Tell him/her/them that you want them to keep kicking your ass everytime you fall on your path.
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Have someone else keep you on track while looking for something more permanent like a job. Work with a friend and meet up with them every day, have them call you if you don't arrive on time.
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On November 21 2010 09:04 SCC-Faust wrote:Show nested quote +On November 21 2010 08:54 MisterD wrote:
not doing anything anymore, losing control of your schedule and not being happy about stuff sounds very much like a clinical depression (which does not mean just bad mood, but bad body chemistry so to speak). You should consider seeing a doctor about that if you feel its to bad and you don't see how to get out of it. Even if it is I'm trying to reduce my medications, not add on more.
you can treat clinical depressen through psycho therapy. You don't have to rely on drugs. Dunno how this is in the US, but in germany at least, if the doctor prescribes it, insurance covers a certain amount of therapy sessions.
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United States24740 Posts
Did you read my guide on sleep? That, along with a plan for what you are going to spend your daytime doing should get you off on the right foot. If you say "I'm going to be productive tomorrow" but can't be more specific then you don't really have a reason to get up.
Plan your meals ahead of time as best you can so you can avoid situations where you just take a half-assed look around and skip lunch.
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I think even if you get to Canada, your problems go deeper than that and won't be solved by being in a different place.
It's difficult to feel good about something before you've done it. You say you've done nothing all day and that nothing interests you anymore. Well pick a few things at random and see how you feel about them after seeing them through (don't pick something up and quit halfway through).
That's how you will start to want doing things. If you're asking how to cure laziness and begin doing those things, the answer is that you should prove you're a sentient being and can make choices.
Depression is a murky field and people have opinions that are probably a bit too strong about it. I often look like a moron when I speak in absolutes regarding a topic like this, so I will avoid doing so. Regardless, I hope you at least try my advice above and go into it with a good attitude.
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Faust just set simple goals and do them. Don't let yourself wuss out. Don't stay up past 1AM, just don't. And wake up by 9:30AM latest! That'll probably be a good place to start.
You're living at home right? Maybe get a part-time job just so you can have some income? No matter what you want to do in the future having some money saved up won't hurt. Probably at least some seasonal openings you could find.
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You already answered your own question.
You are not striving to achieve anything worth doing.
People are either lazy because they are aiming to low and/or they do no believe they can reach the point they are aiming at.
Also please realize Canada has far more tyranny and a far more unstable government than even the United States.
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Faust, it indeed sounds like you're suffering from depression, which is without a doubt debilitating.
You mentioned that you were currently on medication...is it possible that the side effects of one of those medications is "depression?" If not, you might - as has been suggested - consult a therapist. It's not like you have to be on anti-depressants for the rest of your life, but sometimes you need a jump start, and of course talking it out with a specialist.
Remember one thing, though, wherever you go, your problems follow.
Good luck to you.
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Rezoacken gave great advice.
Two questions.
1. Do you try to find things to do? Helping out your parents with chores not only kills time, helps your parents out, but also actually makes your free time MORE enjoyable. Well, at least for me it does.
2. Do you have any social relationships with friends or family? I know a good portion of us are introverted, but WE are still social creatures. We need interaction. If you can't find anyone to spend time with, try some of these ideas.
Go to the community center where you live and volunteer your time. Go to your local library and just read a book while you're in there. Believe me, these things do work.
Edit: Also, Faust if you ever want to talk to someone or maybe play an occasional CS/MORPG game or whatever. I'm on AIM most of the day buddy! Message me man!
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Definitely sounds like you have some depressive symptoms, if not depression. Sticking around in that sort of environment won't improve your motivation to do anything because your environment encourages your lifestyle.
Protip: If not a part-time job, then VOLUNTEER. It gets you an immediate positive feedback loop for getting out of the house, because you'll be doing things, and people will be thanking you for your help. If you're a little more ambitious about this you can treat it as a resume-building exercise and do things related to your degree.
You can do this by yourself, but it's really helpful to have a friend/family member be there to help you get back on your feet. At the very least you've got TL!
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Find a tent and a sleeping bag and take a wild hike in the nature. If you cant find anyone that will put demands on you, then certainly nature will, and you better keep up with the pace.
Bonus: and its free :D
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EPT
