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Long time TL lurker and recent poster. I love the blog section at TL so here goes my first one. Factual falsifications and exaggerations are not found in this blog, as I have no (explicit) intention to bolster my e-peen through a disguised b-blog but will most certainly appear that way, still too lazy to pull up baller’s b-blog app though. Just giving a brief background and describing a phenomenon I’ve noticed and have trouble quantifying/overcoming, thought the harshness/intelligence of TL might shed some light:
I’m Asian, let’s get that out of the way. 20, 3rd year in university, 8/10 according to my female friends, 7.5/10 self-evaluated, and probably a 7/10 factoring in any bias. I’ve had 4 somewhat serious relationships in the past, with short single status periods slotted in between each one. I meet new people on a regular basis at clubbing/karaoke events, and I have absolutely no problems making great friends with guys. In fact, I should, and sometimes, secretly wish I were gay; my LG Shine SIM just ran out of contacts capacity last night, with >70% guys’ numbers.
Now, whenever I’m single and actually try to get (Asian, mostly) girls at these Asian gatherings, I end up failing, quite epically on several occasions. I’ve done some self-reflection and have tried to act casual and cool, leaving girls the impression that I’m just a quiet introvert ultimately resulting in polite rejections and unreturned phone calls. Conversely, when I try to do the opposite, i.e., seem confident and talk to them much more (with and without a good buzz), I leave the impression that I’m just a cocky and arrogant asshole, similarly producing little results. I’ve tried to just “not try so hard,” and “act myself,” but I guess that’s an oxymoron in itself, “trying to not try”, so that doesn’t usually work either.
On the contrary, when I am in a relationship, I’m a fucking chick super-magnet at most social events. I get so many numbers from girls that I just end up passing my phone around and they all flock to my dick. Problem is, I love(d) and care(d) for my current and ex-girlfriends, so my dick is unavailable for flocking at these times. Essentially, I get owned and 1-0ggnore’ed in every situation.
I can only speculate as to what engenders this phenomenon – I imagine that the lack of pressure to perform is what elevates my chick attraction capabilities; I feel no pressure to actually start something with any of them - I’m just there to drink and have fun therefore I leave the desired impression as a casual, confident, outgoing and somewhat humorous guy. It seems like a psychological obstacle that I’m unable to overcome; when I’m single, I try so hard to not try so hard that I unfortunately still appear to be trying too hard, a turn off for most girls I find attractive.
I guess I realized what the problem is after all this writing - in essence, my question is:
When I have no intention of trying therefore appearing genuinely not trying, I succeed. When I do have the intention to try therefore appearing trying not to appear trying, I fail.
So how does one with the intention to try (who obviously does try) not appear to be trying? I am so confused.
Edit: Please be chill Chill, don't own me too hard.
 
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giving this blog a general thumbs down
your "problem" is a very general one and didn't really require you to give any personal info out (which you did in truckloads)
ugh. this blog just is so stupid. reread again in 2 years, and ull PM me saying "ur right"
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the way you write is just so goddamn tilting i can't really put a finger on it
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You are describing a very common phenomenon as far as the single vs dating thing. Girls want what they can't have. It is known. You just got to ride it out.
Number 1 way to actually find someone worth dating? Quit fucking trying so hard. Don't think about it, don't be conscious of it. Just be exactly who you want to be and be happy with it.
The best "pick-up' line I ever used was that I used to play Magic the Gathering professionally. Straight up, one of my friends new about it and made some asshole comment about it trying to kill my game and I just rolled with it, started telling people how I got to travel across the country and to Europe and stuff. Other things that have worked out well with the ladies... discussing how I rap, slam, the fact that I am a huge nerd and spend friday nights studying half the time.
They want to see that you are completely comfortable with who you are. It's the kind of confidence that isn't asshole-ish or obnoxious. Stop overthinking it. Just accept most people probably will think you are unattractive anyways, and go for the ones who would actually like you for you.
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I guess I realized what the problem is after all this writing - in essence, my question is:
When I have no intention of trying therefore appearing genuinely not trying, I succeed. When I do have the intention to try therefore appearing trying not to appear trying, I fail.
So how does one with the intention to try (who obviously does try) not appear to be trying? I am so confused.
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fake it?
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Do I really have to quote 40 year old virgin, because it's a classic case...
also, stop letting everyone know you're asian up top damnit. I like guessing in girl blogs.
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Calgary25980 Posts
On September 18 2010 01:21 Hawk wrote:
Do I really have to quote 40 year old virgin, because it's a classic case...
also, stop letting everyone know you're asian up top damnit. I like guessing in girl blogs.
"Just FYI guys I'm asian". I don't know, I'm not asian so I can't understand but maybe asians do stuff differently I don't know. Just seems weird to keep reading that so many times.
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You sound really immature about picking up chicks, but then again; thats exactly how I sound online... It seems like you already know the answer, you're not genuinely not trying. Girls hate fake guys and thats what you are.... the minute you say "im fuckin retarded for thinkin so hard about it" like I said before, you already know the answer to your problem... I think you want TL to tell u to grow up cuz u already knew we were gonna bash on ur blog...
You know what has worked for me and my buddy? "we truly dont give a fuck about girls, and we even let them know when we're hanging out... we tell the girls to stop acting like lil girls and stop the acting... we re just here to hang out and have a good time, we dont give a fuck about getting laid.. we just wanna have fun... sometimes u even have to turn down pussy even if u want it; they ll be all over you"
But then again, in relationships; its the complete opposite you have to hella try or ur girl dont want u for shit lol ... life is a bitch
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On September 18 2010 01:28 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On September 18 2010 01:21 Hawk wrote:
Do I really have to quote 40 year old virgin, because it's a classic case...
also, stop letting everyone know you're asian up top damnit. I like guessing in girl blogs. "Just FYI guys I'm asian". I don't know, I'm not asian so I can't understand but maybe asians do stuff differently I don't know. Just seems weird to keep reading that so many times.
How have you been a TL mod for so long and not learned a thing about intra-Asian affairs? Jeez, Chill, it's common knowledge that after the 4th all-Asian date, they have to meet one another's parents and prove their honor like modern day samurai showing their adherence to Bushido.
Oh that and everything is smaller, so they must have lower expectations. It's why I went on a streak of picking up Asian chicks as a grade-A honky. They are reaallll thankful for everything being normal-sized.
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This is basic. Its common for girls to be attracted to guys that are taken. In my experience this happened all the time cept for epic fail on being single part so it has no correlation :p. Anyways what you do is accept that its normal first instead of seeing it as a problem and maybe don't drink so much
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You are being too general. Is there a particular girl you like or you just want to hook up with anyone?
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In my experience the best thing to do is just not to try too hard, by not trying too hard I mean not over thinking it like you are now.
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EPT
