EPTThe #1 video on NicoVideo this past week under the music category was a song titled "My wife is always playing dead when I return home." NicoVideo is like a Japanese youtube, but for whatever reason the community feels a bit more close-knit (I guess because it's almost completely Japanese as opposed to the worldwide YT?).
The song is... pretty quirky, as you can tell from the title. But that's not all there is to it.
The Vocaloid version is
Sung by halyosy (a nicovideo veteran singer... IIRC he's also a professional singer, and has gotten into the oricon ranking at least once) is
Lyrics:
When I opened the door my wife was on the ground
A kitchen knife stuck in her back
The floor was covered with blood
Some other person might have feinted from the sight
But when I, calmly
Laughed,
"Today's clean-up looks troublesome"
My wife, still lying face-down,
Chuckled, kukuku, satisfied
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
What sort of death she'll be acting tomorrow
I can't imagine
One day an arrow was stuck in her head
Or she'd be in an army uniform clutching a gun
When an ocean sunfish costume was dead
I wanted to just close the door
Cleaning up afterwards is quite a pain
Wiping away the blood from the floor
Cooking dinner with the arrow still through her head
Was something I'd like to be spared from
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
Praising her even a bit makes her go overboard
So I try to ignore it as much as I can
Before we married, even though we were busy
I had fun just seeing her
Driving around with no purpose through the night
We'd even gone to see the ocean one night
After we married, I got subordinates
And work became a lot of fun
My wife, sitting and waiting alone at home
I'd never given thought about
My wife is always playing dead when I return home
Whether it's because she wants to go back to those days
I don't know
When I return home, seeing my wife's acting as she waits for me
If that's the shape of our love
Then I guess that's fine
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
How did she die today?
I open the door with eager anticipation
A kitchen knife stuck in her back
The floor was covered with blood
Some other person might have feinted from the sight
But when I, calmly
Laughed,
"Today's clean-up looks troublesome"
My wife, still lying face-down,
Chuckled, kukuku, satisfied
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
What sort of death she'll be acting tomorrow
I can't imagine
One day an arrow was stuck in her head
Or she'd be in an army uniform clutching a gun
When an ocean sunfish costume was dead
I wanted to just close the door
Cleaning up afterwards is quite a pain
Wiping away the blood from the floor
Cooking dinner with the arrow still through her head
Was something I'd like to be spared from
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
Praising her even a bit makes her go overboard
So I try to ignore it as much as I can
Before we married, even though we were busy
I had fun just seeing her
Driving around with no purpose through the night
We'd even gone to see the ocean one night
After we married, I got subordinates
And work became a lot of fun
My wife, sitting and waiting alone at home
I'd never given thought about
My wife is always playing dead when I return home
Whether it's because she wants to go back to those days
I don't know
When I return home, seeing my wife's acting as she waits for me
If that's the shape of our love
Then I guess that's fine
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
How did she die today?
I open the door with eager anticipation
But quirkier still is that it's based on a true story, a bit like Densha Otoko. Obviously in both cases they're from the internet so it'll always be met with skepticism, but hey what's the world without being a bit optimistic, right?
The original source actually stems from a question one guy posted to the Yahoo Knowledge Bank (or w/e it is in English) three weeks ago (7/17/10 to be exact).
http://detail.chiebukuro.yahoo.co.jp/qa/question_detail/q1243817632
My wife is always playing dead when I return home.
What does this mean?
When I went back home and opened the door, my wife was sprawled on the ground.
I was surprised at first, but she started doing it every day.
Then one day she'd have blood gushing out of her mouth.
And the next week her white T-shirt would be drenched in blood.
Was she running out of ideas?
Or was she so stuck that she was going insane?
One day there'd be an arrow through her head,
or she'd have a vinyl bag over her head (but she's breathing so the inflation and deflation was really blatant)
Yesterday she was dressed in an army uniform clutching a rifle to her acting like she'd died a glorious death.
Of course, I'm just walking right past her.
What does my wife want?
And where does she want to go from here?
I don't understand, at all. Please, someone tell me.
The other day, with the arrow still stuck through her head
She made dinner.
[Added later]
I'm surprised by all the responses. I believe it was at the onset of spring that she'd written "skipjack tuna" as her dying message, and I realized that day's dinner would be based on skipjack tuna, so during dinner I praised her, saying today's one was pretty useful. But then the next day a clown (Ronald McDonald) was sprawled out on the floor. It'd get to her head. Helping her undo her make-up is quite a chore.
She said she bought the uniform at an army shop. When I chided her over unnecessary spending, today she was being eaten by what appears to be a hand-made alligator.
What does this mean?
When I went back home and opened the door, my wife was sprawled on the ground.
I was surprised at first, but she started doing it every day.
Then one day she'd have blood gushing out of her mouth.
And the next week her white T-shirt would be drenched in blood.
Was she running out of ideas?
Or was she so stuck that she was going insane?
One day there'd be an arrow through her head,
or she'd have a vinyl bag over her head (but she's breathing so the inflation and deflation was really blatant)
Yesterday she was dressed in an army uniform clutching a rifle to her acting like she'd died a glorious death.
Of course, I'm just walking right past her.
What does my wife want?
And where does she want to go from here?
I don't understand, at all. Please, someone tell me.
The other day, with the arrow still stuck through her head
She made dinner.
[Added later]
I'm surprised by all the responses. I believe it was at the onset of spring that she'd written "skipjack tuna" as her dying message, and I realized that day's dinner would be based on skipjack tuna, so during dinner I praised her, saying today's one was pretty useful. But then the next day a clown (Ronald McDonald) was sprawled out on the floor. It'd get to her head. Helping her undo her make-up is quite a chore.
She said she bought the uniform at an army shop. When I chided her over unnecessary spending, today she was being eaten by what appears to be a hand-made alligator.
The post that was voted best answer, btw, is
An arrow through her head... can you teach me how she did it?
Hand-maid alligator...
Your wife is way too cute.
Maybe she wants to brighten up the day for her husband, who's coming home tired after a busy day of work, day in day out?
I think it's a wonderful thought.
I think your wife just wants to see you laugh more.
Where your wife wants to go from here... is something I can't even begin to fathom... because she's completely unpredictable. (lol)
In any case, I think your wife just wants to live a happy, fun life where every day is fresh.
And this is probably just what she came up with after a lot of thought.
I think your wife is a fabulous person ^^
I'll try to become a wife like her! (lol)
Please give your wife my regards!
And have a long, wonderful life together ^^♪
Hand-maid alligator...
Your wife is way too cute.
Maybe she wants to brighten up the day for her husband, who's coming home tired after a busy day of work, day in day out?
I think it's a wonderful thought.
I think your wife just wants to see you laugh more.
Where your wife wants to go from here... is something I can't even begin to fathom... because she's completely unpredictable. (lol)
In any case, I think your wife just wants to live a happy, fun life where every day is fresh.
And this is probably just what she came up with after a lot of thought.
I think your wife is a fabulous person ^^
I'll try to become a wife like her! (lol)
Please give your wife my regards!
And have a long, wonderful life together ^^♪
Just thought it was a cute song, and a warmer story still, to share~
As always sorry for the rough translation.
