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WniO
United States2706 Posts
On August 07 2010 22:21 Duckvillelol wrote: Ummm... wut? Bit harsh? What has he done wrong? i have constantly told him that he is not to bring friends over night. this is my place i own with my sister and i dont want him having loud gay sex, which forces me to sleep downstairs. plus hes always drunk. in fact i let him be my roommate in the first place cause he was low on cash and we have cheap rent so i was being nice. now its time to move on. | ||
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JohannesH
Finland1364 Posts
Sure you can and should kick him out if this makes you annoyed, but you do come across as a sexually insecure douche | ||
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hypercube
Hungary2735 Posts
On August 07 2010 20:39 Barfboy wrote: I have a very good feeling that the friend is his boyfriend, although i am not 100% sure, more like 90%, as they do spend pretty much 24/7 with each other. My real roommate also has no idea that his friend has another friend sleeping on his bed every night, when they are supposed to be close friends. I really am not feeling comfortable with the two of them sleeping in the same bed every night, and the fact that the friend has been over for so many nights already, as this is not what i signed up for when i agreed to have him live with me for a month. WTF, this is just homophobic. Once you agree that he can stay it really is none of your business if they sleep together. Of course it's your place and you're free to ask him not to bring his friend over. Just stop deluding yourself about having nothing against gay people. | ||
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Subversive
Australia2229 Posts
On August 07 2010 22:59 hypercube wrote: WTF, this is just homophobic. Once you agree that he can stay it really is none of your business if they sleep together. Of course it's your place and you're free to ask him not to bring his friend over. Just stop deluding yourself about having nothing against gay people. Yeah agreed. You're definitely a little homophobic OP. However ultimately it's your place and your friends friend shouldn't blatantly take advantage of your good nature by having his partner/friend stay for more than 1 night without asking you. If they were being noisy while having sex - that would be one thing. But simply disapproving of them being in the same bed suggests a fairly high level of discomfort that I would class as homophobia. Note that doesn't mean I'm accusing you of hating gays, but rather that you feel uncomfortable around them or with the idea that men put their penises inside each other. Good luck with your problem - I'd just be straight and honest with the guy (pun only semi-accidental). + Show Spoiler + On August 07 2010 22:39 Biff The Understudy wrote: Yeps, that's two distinct questions. The title of the thread wouldn't be the same if it was really about the rent. And it wouldn't be a big deal. People are scared and unconfortable with gays because it confronts them with their own repressed homosexuality. Which is absolutely normal: human fundamental bisexuality has been discovered more than a hundred years ago. It explains also why in ancient Greece, where there were no taboo about it, everybody was bisexual. Actually that's a pretty big claim. I don't think there is universal agreement that humanity is bi-sexual. I'd be tempted to ask what you read that gives you this notion but it's not even a question of sources because many people don't agree with this. Also the claim that everybody was bisexual in ancient greece I find to be inconsistent with my own reading and study of history. | ||
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Pokebunny
United States10654 Posts
I don't think the world is yet at a level where you're expected to be completely comfortable with gay people, so I wouldn't worry about it. It's headed in that direction, though. | ||
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Duckvillelol
Australia1253 Posts
On August 07 2010 22:45 OneFierceZealot wrote: i have constantly told him that he is not to bring friends over night. this is my place i own with my sister and i dont want him having loud gay sex, which forces me to sleep downstairs. plus hes always drunk. in fact i let him be my roommate in the first place cause he was low on cash and we have cheap rent so i was being nice. now its time to move on. Please define how "Loud gay sex" is in any way worse than "Loud straight sex". Are you tone deaf? I understand the point the OP is making regarding having someone in the house who ISN'T paying rent yet is staying at the house more than a few nights, but seriously this tone from you OFZ is incredibly homophobic, wheather you realise it or not. Just for clarity's sake - if your friend was straight, and was bringing home incredibly hot chicks, is that ok? | ||
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Barfboy
Canada193 Posts
On August 07 2010 22:59 hypercube wrote: WTF, this is just homophobic. Once you agree that he can stay it really is none of your business if they sleep together. Of course it's your place and you're free to ask him not to bring his friend over. Just stop deluding yourself about having nothing against gay people. To those who say i am a homophobe, i will admit that i do have homophobic tendencies, which is the sad truth, as i was raised that way by my father who is an extreme homophobe, so maybe i did get a bit carried away in my post. The reason i named the thread the way it is, is because the main problem i have is trying to confront him without sounding like i only want the friend out because i do not approve of homosexuality, because I do have a tendency to go overboard and say something out of line. I do not like being deceived, although i guess it is my fault for not realizing until yesterday that the friend had been staying longer than i had thought, as I always get home when they are both asleep, so i have no idea if someone was in the room with my roommate. Furthermore, I also do not like him not telling my real roommate that he has a friend using his bed as well, because he had only assumed that one person would be using that bed. I guess I am just going to have to talk to him later about it, and I am sorry if i came out as a homophobe, because it was not my intention. | ||
Chill
Calgary25991 Posts
Yet somehow it focuses on him being gay. I don't get it. | ||
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WniO
United States2706 Posts
On August 07 2010 23:26 Duckvillelol wrote: yeah. that would still be annoying as fuck. (gay or straight) i want to sleep.Please define how "Loud gay sex" is in any way worse than "Loud straight sex". Are you tone deaf? I understand the point the OP is making regarding having someone in the house who ISN'T paying rent yet is staying at the house more than a few nights, but seriously this tone from you OFZ is incredibly homophobic, wheather you realise it or not. Just for clarity's sake - if your friend was straight, and was bringing home incredibly hot chicks, is that ok? | ||
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JohannesH
Finland1364 Posts
On August 07 2010 23:03 Subversive wrote:+ Show Spoiler + On August 07 2010 22:39 Biff The Understudy wrote: Yeps, that's two distinct questions. The title of the thread wouldn't be the same if it was really about the rent. And it wouldn't be a big deal. People are scared and unconfortable with gays because it confronts them with their own repressed homosexuality. Which is absolutely normal: human fundamental bisexuality has been discovered more than a hundred years ago. It explains also why in ancient Greece, where there were no taboo about it, everybody was bisexual. Actually that's a pretty big claim. I don't think there is universal agreement that humanity is bi-sexual. I'd be tempted to ask what you read that gives you this notion but it's not even a question of sources because many people don't agree with this. Also the claim that everybody was bisexual in ancient greece I find to be inconsistent with my own reading and study of history. Everyones bisexual to an extent... I'd think pretty much everyone could enjoy getting a blowjob from a member of the same sex, wouldn't you agree? Even if they'd prefer something else a bit more. Bisexual doesn't mean that sex makes zero difference, it just varies how much different people prefer one or the other. | ||
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LumberJack
United States3355 Posts
On August 07 2010 20:52 Manifesto7 wrote: even though it is my place and i deserve to know what is happening under my roof. End of story. Just tell the guy that having a third person live with you is not acceptable. One night is fine, anything more is not. It isn't rude, it is your home. The gay dude should understand the place is being rented for two people not three. Even if the third person was paying rent (I assume he isn't and the gay guy is) that is not what you want for your living situation. This doesn't have to be confrontational, just talk to him. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANI | ||
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WniO
United States2706 Posts
On August 07 2010 23:46 JohannesH wrote: Everyones bisexual to an extent... I'd think pretty much everyone could enjoy getting a blowjob from a member of the same sex, wouldn't you agree? Even if they'd prefer something else a bit more. Bisexual doesn't mean that sex makes zero difference, it just varies how much different people prefer one or the other. ... based on what? a poll in san francisco? /// using your blowjob example... so your saying that you would enjoy getting a blow job from a dog? because i mean its pretty much the same thing. thats attractive to you? /// believe it or not there are people who are actually straight. | ||
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Floophead_III
United States1832 Posts
On August 07 2010 23:29 Chill wrote: The theme of this blog should be there is a person living in your house for free. Yet somehow it focuses on him being gay. I don't get it. Clearly there is a connection. You'd have to be gay to move into some random dude's apt for free. Right? | ||
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mmp
United States2130 Posts
Trying to kick the bf out onto the couch is beyond legality (your lease doesn't care where visitors sleep), sounds like homophobia. | ||
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Balfazar
Australia483 Posts
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Biff The Understudy
France7960 Posts
On August 08 2010 00:02 Balfazar wrote: Seems to be a bit of thought policing going on here... I think people have every right to be uncomfortable with something, as long as they don't then turn that into actions that infringe on the rights of others. And a friend's friend getting free board isn't a right. I don't really see the difference with someone saying he is unconfortable with black people and someone saying he's unconfortable with gays. Everybody has the right to be a racist, but he won't get my sympathy. Same for homophobia. | ||
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JohnColtrane
Australia4813 Posts
if it's your house and he's overstaying his welcome, tell him and kick him out. doesn't make a lick of difference if he's gay, black, jewish or a virgin if you dont like gays, fine, that's how you feel. if you feel deep down that you dont want him around coz he's gay, well, it's your house. you can do whatever you want man | ||
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Ursad0n
United States523 Posts
Give him every reason to accept that you're for real | ||
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killanator
United States549 Posts
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ShadeR
Australia7535 Posts
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