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Bored, reclined atop your bed,
You read the forum prose
A thought congeals inside your head
"A poem I will compose."
And anxiously, your brain works hard
With fingers now atwitch.
Envisioning yourself a bard,
You scratch that rhyming itch.
With vibrant flair, you type a storm,
It grows before your eyes
And slow emerges, takes its form,
A sweet and happy guise.
So proudly you present to us
Your child as you click "post."
Surprised to hear a wretched fuss
Of what you lacked most.
You see, you think a po-em's just
A clot of words that rhyme.
Alas, far more exists, you must
Consider beat and time.
For when you take "bent, dent, and spent"
And throw them in a slew.
It's sad to say that 50 cent
Is twice the poet as you.
"Ok" you think. "I understand
A rhyme's just not complete
Without its counterpart at hand:
A rhythm and a beat."
And happily you start to spew
A sad and graceless song.
So bold, you really have no clue
How you again went wrong.
For rapping's fine when audible
With instrumental flings,
But something not applaudible
When read from laptop screens.
The problem's there for all to see
You lack a steady beat
For though you say your "style" is "free"
You'd better take a seat.
You lack a structure, lack a flow,
A "meter" is it's name.
It's better off to take it slow
To start this rhyming game.
You organize your mess of words
It comes so painfully.
"The work is hard and slow - absurd"
You think disdainfully.
Don't give up! You're almost there
You sad and poor recluse.
Just hop this hurdle - then you'll bear
A name like Dr. Seuss.
Sweat is dripping twixt your brows
Of furrowed contemplation.
But then your efforts fast arouse
A roar of great frustration.
"It's not possible!" You say
"To write something so terse."
And look to screen in sad dismay,
Your sorry, butchered verse.
But o fear not, you man of wit
There's much more you can do.
For there exist some easy shit
Called free verse and haiku.
But please, before you dare bestow
A rhyme you might compose.
Consider proper form, or go
With simple, classic prose.
http://caltechrankmaniac2012.wordpress.com/
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Curse you iambic pentameter! There is no gayer or more pretentious form. (Okay, not pentameter exactly, but it really makes the reader's brain shut off when he has to read more than three verses in this rhythm)
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LOL so glad you did this after seeing the other thread.
Shamed the wannabes
On July 09 2010 05:43 Chef wrote:
Curse you iambic pentameter! There is no gayer or more pretentious form. (Okay, not pentameter exactly, but it really makes the reader's brain shut off when he has to read more than three verses in this rhythm)
three has nothing to do with anything~!
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Truer rhymes you have not ever spoke
But be that as it may
I fear you won't silence those folks
Until their dying day
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Awesome 
Discipline achieves better results, and, hey, you also need discipline to develop good "free" verse skills...
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
Saracen I want to sex you.
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On July 09 2010 05:36 Saracen wrote:
But o fear not, you man of wit
There's much more you can do.
For there exist some easy shit
Called free verse and haiku.
Am I mistaken?
Did you just knock on Haikus?
Oh no you didn't!
Oh snap! Oh snap, sir!
You have called down the thunder,
Now reap the whirlwind.
Though you show no fear,
I am but a messenger,
Here to spread the word.
Show disdain, will you?
You will know the name of Trozz,
Master of this craft.
Five's King he's become;
Lord of all that is Seven.
Five's Queen too (don't ask).
Hm.. actually,
These things are pretty easy,
lol Trozz you got served.
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Croatia3840 Posts
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
On July 09 2010 06:49 SonuvBob wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2010 05:36 Saracen wrote:
But o fear not, you man of wit
There's much more you can do.
For there exist some easy shit
Called free verse and haiku. Am I mistaken? Did you just knock on Haikus? Oh no you didn't! Oh snap! Oh snap, sir! You have called down the thunder, Now reap the whirlwind. Though you show no fear, I am but a messenger, Here to spread the word. Show disdain, will you? You will know the name of Trozz, Master of this craft. Five's King he's become; Lord of all that is Seven. Five's Queen too (don't ask). Hm.. actually, These things are pretty easy, lol Trozz you got served.
Best poster ever.
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He is best poster and I was sort of disappointed
UNTIL I GOT TO THE TWIST!
Trozz did get served. x 2
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ITT: Saracen dunking on poems as usual.
Nice job.
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On July 09 2010 08:13 ella_guru wrote:
He is best poster and I was sort of disappointed
UNTIL I GOT TO THE TWIST!
Trozz did get served. x 2
Pff, are you insane? Writing in rhythm is easy too. It's originality that counts. What makes Trozz so amazing is that he randomly started posting in haikus everywhere, when there was no precedent to do so. That's what makes him a legend among us mortals.
Similar to MyDigitalToss. Anyone could scour the internet for random, yet awesome StarCraft photos. What makes him amazing was that he is the first to do it consistently. A beautiful idea that had not yet existed in our world.
HAVE YE NO SENSE OF THE MAGIC THAT SURROUNDS?
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On July 09 2010 10:01 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2010 08:13 ella_guru wrote:
He is best poster and I was sort of disappointed
UNTIL I GOT TO THE TWIST!
Trozz did get served. x 2 Pff, are you insane? Writing in rhythm is easy too. It's originality that counts. What makes Trozz so amazing is that he randomly started posting in haikus everywhere, when there was no precedent to do so. That's what makes him a legend among us mortals. Similar to MyDigitalToss. Anyone could scour the internet for random, yet awesome StarCraft photos. What makes him amazing was that he is the first to do it consistently. A beautiful idea that had not yet existed in our world. HAVE YE NO SENSE OF THE MAGIC THAT SURROUNDS?
Exactly. Trozz is awesome, and I didn't mean to rail on him with the poem. Even though he always ignores me on IRC 
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It's too late. The Feud of Poets begins now. Only then will you come to learn just how dangerous your words can be.
THIS ISNT A FUCKING GAME
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So we got people who write in sonnets, haiku, and limericks.
I, then, will become the TL poster who writes in nothing but...
DACTYLIC HEXAMETER!!!!!!
Wait, never mind, English dactylic hexameter is hard.
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I can sense the foreboding beatdown coming from Trozz... I'm scared >.<
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On July 09 2010 10:01 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2010 08:13 ella_guru wrote:
He is best poster and I was sort of disappointed
UNTIL I GOT TO THE TWIST!
Trozz did get served. x 2 Pff, are you insane? Writing in rhythm is easy too. It's originality that counts. What makes Trozz so amazing is that he randomly started posting in haikus everywhere, when there was no precedent to do so. That's what makes him a legend among us mortals. Similar to MyDigitalToss. Anyone could scour the internet for random, yet awesome StarCraft photos. What makes him amazing was that he is the first to do it consistently. A beautiful idea that had not yet existed in our world. HAVE YE NO SENSE OF THE MAGIC THAT SURROUNDS?
Ironic coming from the guy who included Shakespeare's sonnets as being gay and pretentious.
Just sayin' :D
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/295/applausy.gif)
